Don't Ever Leave

I've always been so strong

and God, I've always given the shoulder to lean on,

I've kept my mouth shut about things I really shouldn't

and I've stood tall even when I knew I couldn't

I've hidden the feelings I've lingered over for so long

and I tell myself that yeah, I can be strong

I try to forget faces and words and things I've been told

remembering too much makes this heart feel so cold

I have finally broken, pulled all my pieces apart

I've looked at them all and recreated this heart

I have stared endlessly at fading pictures

and I can never express how much I miss her.

I have sang until my voice cracked and throat bled

and even then it still felt like not enough was said.

I have cried and screamed for people not to leave

and in the end I'm always the one left to grieve

I have witnessed horrors I can't even believe

and I've felt your hand in mine, I've felt your arms holding me up

and I've heard your voice telling me to never give up

I've cried and I've screamed and gotten lost in my dreams

I have been tortured by faces and ethereal beings

and I can be strong, if only for so long

Oh, yes, I can be strong.

But you are the one person I never want to grieve,

because you, you are the one person I know I can believe

When you say you won't hurt me and I can see,

So I have to tell you, Love, Don't ever leave.

Author's Note

<3
Too much to explain, just let me know what you think. ^~^
Btw, I do so believe my writer's block has finally fled in terror. :D

Edit--7/19/10-- Thank you, Jean, for the well thought out criticism. ^_^ Made a few changes, but nothing huge~

Reviews

[Jean]

I love this. :) I can relate, and your flow is incrediblee. :)
"and I've felt your hand in mine, and I've felt your arms holding me up" - I think you should take out the and in the beginning, cause you don't need it, and this is already a long line.
The only other thing you might want to think about is playing around with the "I've and I have"s.
Andd the "time and time again" part sounds a bit harsh.
That's all I can come up with. :) This is really good. :)

[salvador (camuel choisu..]

I enjoyed this writing it was full of passion and deep emotions great job keep on writing with passion cause that is what gives this work of art it's soul

[twilight-dreamer-24/7]

this is amazing. i see you have a lot of passion in what you write. keep it up.

[Jasmarine]

I LOVE THIS! The emotion and how the person reassembles their life after the break-up is very well written. Everyone has gone through a relationship like this, having the asses what all happened and moving forward. It also shows that attachment towards the person you've just broken up with, hoping it isn't real but understanding that it's over. Good job :)

[Tallulah]

I loved this so much. its very easy to relate to. it has o much emotion and feeling in it. definitely one of my favorites . Great job.
"I've finally broken, pulled all my pieces apart
I've looked at them all and recreated this heart"
That was my favorite part. The idea of recreating a heart was really touching. this was amazing.
With love,
Tallulah

[Surrealstorm]

Very touching poem. It hits me right where i am right now which makes it even more emotional. you truly know how to capture a reader and make them feel. wonderful write!

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Fabulous and very surreal love flowing throughout this entire writing. So much a life journey can contain..so strong we all are if we really look hard enough. No one knows an individual's journey nor the secrets they contain. I loved the rhythm, rhyme and flow here.. the intensity of emotions contained is exploding off the page here!!! Great work..

[hershey's kiss]

"I have sang until my voice cracked and throat bled
and even then it still felt like not enough was said."

my favorite lines of the whole piece.
this was truly incredible.

- hershey's kiss

[Nakami-sensei]

I honestly don't know what to say! this is an amazing poem! "I have cried and screamed for people not to leave" This poem really reminds me of myself... anyway great job!

[chloe cruz]

I loved this so much, it was amazing. So much emotion, so many things I can relate to. I loved the extrodinary flow of it all, the way your words meshed to create such a wonderful piece of work. Again, amazing job! :] Such an amazing job.

Chloe.