(Laughter) In the Water

She loved nature for what it was- her home.

Fading….
               Fading….
                              Drifting….

Through what?

---------

Ashley stood at the end of the dock, hands clasped behind her delicate white dress. She smiled as the breeze ruffled the hem of the dress, lapping it around her legs as she reached up and pulled a few stray strands of hair behind her ear.

She stood in contrast to everything else. The sky was a dark and depressing gray, the lake water before her choppy and uneven with eagerness for the coming storm. The water itself was a deep blue, a color she had never seen it turn despite the years she had spent standing there.

Ashley wasn’t a normal girl. She was as human as anyone, but she was a strange person. She enjoyed rain, like many, but she loved the pelting of it on her skin, the coolness as it trailed down her body and stuck her dress to her. She loved the wind tossing her hair around and the way the waves on the lake shuddered and sighed like a discontent breath. She watched the sky like a television, finding the clouds and the patterns they made on the sky intriguing. The sun hiding behind the clouds was perfection, it came out during commercials.

She always attended the storms in her white dress. White was purity and she found her entertainment purely in nature, which in itself was untainted by human hands in such forms.

Ashley turned her pale, pretty face to the sky. Thick dark lashes rested on her cheeks as she closed her eyes, which were the color of the sky at the moment. Her lips, a soft rose, turned up at the pick up of the wind. She sensed the change as naturally as an artist senses the subtle change of a color.

She spread her fingers and wiggled them in the cool wind, she felt the first few drops of rain on her skin, which prickled with gooseflesh. Ashley tilted her head back as far as she could without arching her back and her smile grew, showing off pearly white teeth. Rain left little pin-prick sized circles on her face and neck, her exposed shoulders and arms and hands. It turned her skin a darker shade at the parts it touched, as the drops grew the dark spots on her skin grew too. Her dress was soaked in minutes, as the rain fell hard and fast so soon.

Ashley started to laugh, her smile turning to an all out grin as she clenched her fists in celebration of the rain. Her fists shook and her knuckles turned white, she let out a loud, heart filled laugh and the wind carried it off like a song.

She waited out the storm, as white lightning colored the horizon and shades of gray left traces in her eyes. She kept smiling, embracing the natural beauty around her as the docks shook gently with each wave, each choppy break in the water that splashed lightly over the aged wood. It soaked into her toes and the soles of her feet and she laughed louder.

Her dress stuck to her completely, clinging to her tiny figure and turning gray and flesh colored. She looked down and saw her undergarments through the thin cotton fabric, and she laughed again.

She laughed.

She was beautiful in the storm, she was perfect and simple and clean- Complete. She was at home.

Slowly, the rain ebbed away and turned to a light spray from the lake. The waves and choppy current eased and relaxed like tensed muscle and soon reflected the white gold sun in all its sparkling light. Ashley let her arms back to her sides, clasped them behind herself for a moment as she tiptoed to the edge of the waterlogged dock. She went to the very edge, toes scraping the side of the wood. She tilted her head down at her own reflection.

Tiny, soaked to the bone. There were little ringlets in the water as the last of the raindrops fell, they distorted her reflection so that she reached out with tender fingers, grazing the surface of the water as she craned over. She leaned too far over and squeaked as she felt gravity yank her down, arms cart wheeling around and spraying more water through the air. She turned, half to try and walk back towards her original spot on the dock and half to protect her face and stomach from a full on belly flop.

She hit the water with a smack, water entangling around her form as if welcoming her with a hug.

She laughed as she sank in, legs spread out and arms embracing the water, her dark hair floated out around her like a shadowy halo and as she sank further into the water, she laughed again.

She laughed.

She was at home.

Author's Note

T.T I was supposed to be in bed an hour ago. XD
But....I happened upon a certain contest by a certain someone and saw a picture and....POP. Inspiration. Can't so no to that, huh?

So...Here I am. XD

I happen to love this story because it's one of the only ones by me that doesn't end in death or bloodshed. lol either way, I want crit and comments so GIMMEH.
.....Please? xD

Reviews

[Voice11]

I think this story is a very nice descriptive one of a perfect moment in the rain...too much laughter though, it gives away the feeling of the rain.

[Kira]

Hmmm...I think everything was just about perfect, but in the times you mention "she was at home", I think it would sound better just as "she was home". Other than that, *perfect*.

[Bud]

One never knows where inspiration will reveal itself or when. Darnedest elusive thing we have! What a delightful story! The rain has it's moments of grandeur. As usual, an Excellent write! The only thing I see that could be a concern is the color of the font. For some it may be difficult to read. Depending on eyesight, and monitor. That's not a bad thing, just a consideration. Outstanding work! You have one of those Unique and Creative minds that is tapped at will to produce Marvelous works of art! Keep on writing!

[Britt Foster]

This is really pretty awesome. :D

It's written quite beautifully and it flows well. It really captures the emotion and paints a vivid picture of a girl enjoying the rain, and then later falling into the ocean. Also, I like how you kept repeating that she laughed, because although this would normally bother me, in this case it added a lot to the point of the story. She's completely carefree and happy in the rain, so she laughs. And she laughs. And she laughs some more.

Brilliant. ^^

As for improvement...

This sentence seems confusing to me: "She turned, half to try and walk back towards her original spot on the dock and half to protect her face and stomach from a full on belly flop. " How did she turn and half try to walk back toward her spot on the dock? This gives me the picture of her standing and turning as if to walk while falling through midair into the ocean. Weird picture. Haha. Maybe you should nix the dock part and just say that she twisted around to avoid a belly flop. Somethin like that, haha.

And this sentence, "She was beautiful in the storm, she was perfect and simple and clean- Complete. She was at home. " Is a bit odd too. Using "was" makes me think that the girl is thinking about how she is beautiful. If she's a very vain girl I guess that makes sense, but I think it takes away from her innocent happiness in that case. I think using something more along the lines of "She looked beautiful in the storm, perfectly in her element and simple and clean and complete." would benefit the story.

Good job with this though! You really allow the reader to experience what Ashley is experiencing. ^_^
Keep up with the excellent work and good luck in the contest you wrote this for!

[Georgia Gypsy]

I love this! i was going to write about that picture but you seem to have plucked the story right from my head....J/K! you did a great job! i never could have come up with what you did, i feel i know this character, i am this person! i love the rain!

i am writing something for one of the other pictures:)...i guess i had a premonition of sorts to leave this one be...LOL

LOVE IT!!!!
going into my favorites...