Alone.

 

Sadness grows like sunlight spreading over the pavement

leave me alone 

a dreadful voice croaks 

agony, despair, 

the sky turns black, the sunshine fades 

leave me alone, all you ever do is hurt. 

the sun recedes, the darkness grows

contempt rises like the tides.

It rains like tears.

From the shadows a decrepit hand

fingers thin and pale

reaches for the receding sunlight

I'm such a masochist.

Why reach for the sunlight in search of hope

when I know it's only going to bring me sadness?

When I know...When I know it will only reveal how alone I truly am?

they ask,

their home is a hollowed tree,

carved out and created especially for them

by the ones they once trusted.

Looking up to the clouds, they say softly,

Such dark clouds.

They are much like my heart.

Once pure, white- beautiful in the form of the word meaning nature.

Now dark. Foreboding. No one cherishes the approach of me, just like the darkened clouds.

The only difference is, between us, the clouds can shed rain,

purifying rain,

and I...I am left to wither alone.

All alone.

Author's Note

....It's personal, I think. I'd still like feedback though. :)

EDIT- Thanks for the advice about just letting loose. I feel a little better now, and I think the poem is way better too. ^^

Reviews

[Voice11]

Sadness... I hate it. Great way of expression though. it helps

[V. Lucien Maier]

ok so I think your emotions and flow are right there, you can feel you reached in your soul and pulled this out. In that way it is flawless.
There is one structure issue I have...
you compare sunlight to sadness, Sadness grows like sunlight
then in the next phrase you compare darkness to anger.
then you are reaching for the light, (thus reaching for sadness)
although there you compare it to hope. so it was little bumpy around there. but it reads well beyond that and has a great feel to it.

[BLACKCRUSH]

I know you need feedback but these are your true emotions.....I thought you did a excellent job describing your pain and loneliness . Wonderful job all around .

[a]

Poetrywise - have to say nothing special, very brief, shy and pale. You could add more emotion and personality to it by working with your feelings, make tghis piece wider, expand.

But it is great that you can share your emotions with others, those are deep thoughts, important feelings, that many can learn from.

Thank you for sharing! Keep writing, be more confident and wordful, write all that is in you, then work with it, shape it, and a poem is done.