Finding You

The rain runs down the window, I trace my fingers on the glass in delicate patterns. I think of you.

 

Like the sun has left the sky, I feel cold without you. Dreary, dampened and wrinkled and old. The wind blows and fingers of branches rake across the window, leaves flutter against it and leave shiny imprints.

 

Why did you leave?

 

A tear runs down my cheek, I’m too lazy to wipe it away.

 

You left a note, you said you loved me but you needed to go. You needed to find yourself.

 

When I found that note sitting on my bed, I sank to my knees and covered my mouth with my hands but it did no good for the screaming that followed. Why would you leave me? You said you’d hold me forever, and I was it. Why would you lie to me?

 

I lean my head against the glass, press my hand to it and smile a sad smile. The rain always reminded me of you. Quiet at most times, sort of scary in a majestic way. There’s a picture of you in my lap, but it’s distorted with tears.

 

I found that note yesterday….or….I think it was yesterday. I can’t remember anymore. When your reason for living, when your sun leaves the sky, the days bleed together like tears in the rain.

 

You left your things here, and I want to take it that it means you are coming back someday. When, I don’t know. I want to know how long I’ve been alone.

 

I take out my phone and look at the date; it’s been a week and a half.

 

I haven’t eaten, I called out of work and told them I was taking my vacation early. I’ve moved around but not much more than using the bathroom, showering and maybe getting a glass of water. I haven’t called anyone to tell them of your leaving other than my mother, she was by here a little while ago and after holding me for a while said she had to leave. She still has a job, and a life.

 

I’m alone in my tiny apartment, it’s funny, it seemed so much bigger with you here.

 

The rain beats on the window. I’m not quick enough to trace all the patterns this time, but I catch a few. There’s a knock on the door and I think it’s the wind at first, hitting the siding of the building. Another soft knock, I haven’t used my voice in days and it come out rough and grated,

 

“Come in.” The door opens; I don’t turn my head to look back. I don’t care who it is.

 

There’s a strange silence in the air, the rain seems to soften.

 

“So I don’t get a hello?” my heart stops. I turn to you, and you smile at me. Your eyes are red, “I’m sorry.”

 

“H…How did…” I start to stand up, relying on the window sill to pull myself up. You move forward and pull me to you. I rest my head on your chest, “Why did…Why did you leave me?” You wrap your arms around me, so tight. I stand on the tips of my toes to bury my face into your neck and you turn your head so your lips press against my ear.

 

“I needed to find myself. I was…I was lost.”

 

“Lost?” my world is still in pieces and I’m debating letting myself hope. “Lost?”

 

You nodded, brushing your lips against my ear again. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you.” I sigh and breathe in your sweet scent.

 

“Why?”

 

“I was….I was questioning you. I thought you might’ve…A friend of mine said they saw you with someone else.” I freeze,

 

“You thought I’d cheat?”

 

“No.” you say it so quickly, then recover and hold me even tighter, “I know you wouldn’t but…But I was scared.” You kiss the top of my head, “I needed to find myself, to find my way again…It took me a little while until I realized that I can only be in one place, my way resides in one person, one heart- you.” I start to cry, I hold you to me and tell you never to leave me again, never to let go of me and never loose sight of that path.

 

I’m right here, always.

 

Outside, the rain has cleared, the sun has returned to the sky and it’s brighter than I’ve ever seen it.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

I don't know what made me write this, I just felt like writing something sad with a happy ending. I wanted it to be short, which I suppose this kind of is. I also had the ending preplanned XD I wanna know what you guys think ^^

Reviews

[Voice11]

Absolutely Amazing! I felt every emotion you portrayed in this piece. Keep writing!

[Taylor H]

this made me sad because almost the exact same thing happened to me. It was a great write

[aqua]

It's great! It totally shows the utter mortality of love, it completely wraps around itself in showing the humanity of doing anything for love once bitten by it. keep it up!