Slither

Alicia was by no definition human, though she appeared as one when she needed to. Deep down there was a monster inside her, slithering in her veins and eventually worming its way through the hinges of her mind.

 

Slither

Alicia walked, head down, arms around herself hugging her faded denim jacket to her slim body. She was angry and she shied away from the people on the sidewalk, keeping her distance to everyone and everything. She flipped her head back and pain shot up her spine, her bleached hair went out behind her like a white flag of surrender and she stumbled at the corner of the block, clamping her eyes shut and wincing. She shuffled her feet, stood up straight and continued walking. Her left hand found its way into her purse and felt the comfort there- a spoon, syringe, lighter and the icing on the cake- Her drugs.

She smiled a little, felt the pull on her skin and returned to her usually blank self. She turned the next corner and found relief as the club neared; Panchos was a small club with the same people in it almost everyday. Alicia didn’t know their names in particular, with the exception of the one bouncer who had decided to keep her secret safe when he caught her shooting up in the women’s bathroom. His name was Kurt Arden, he was fairly tall, had short scruffy brown hair and relatively black eyes. Alicia didn’t really like him all that much, something about the way he looked at her didn’t scare her but made her a little on edge.

Especially since he didn’t know her real secret….at least, she thought he didn’t, anyway. As long as he didn’t mention anything then she was just going to ignore it and thank whoever was up there that he didn’t call the police on her.

Alicia walked up to the main entrance of the club, gave Kurt a wary smile and slithered past him.

She continued across the dance floor, where the regulars were chatting away with their beers and drinks in hand, swaying to the steady pulse of the music. She passed the bar, nodded to the bartender and pushed open the door to the women’s restroom. She checked the floor for any signs of other people, like feet perhaps sticking out from under the stalls or make up or anything. She found nothing, turned around and jumped.

Kurt was standing behind her, his hand on the lock on the door to the restroom and his black eyes smiling.

“Hey, Alicia, right?” Alicia nodded and asked with a quiet voice,

“Yeah, what are you doing in here?” She fumbled for her purse, anger rising in her as the thought passed in her mind that he might want her precious escape. However, if it kept him from spilling her “secret” then she was just going to have to deal, she didn’t feel like dealing with the cops at the moment, and she still had a bottle of Asprin in her bag anyway. Not that it was anything compared to her heroin.

She scrounged around for a moment before pulling out the little bag with all her equipment, “Is this what you want?” she raised the plastic bag and put her hand on her hip, more pain lacing into her, as if a fire burned in the back of her skull and dripped through her veins. Her voice held annoyance.

Kurt shook his head and in one quick movement slapped the bag from her hand, ripped off the purse from her shoulder and had her pinned to the wall behind her, the stalls clanking noisily. Alicia let out a small cry, not of fear but pain, it felt like she had been hit in the back of the head with a shovel. She struggled weakly, kicking and shaking her arms, attempting but failing to free herself as Kurt smirked and drew out from his pocket a nicely sized buck knife. He flipped it open, eyes shining, and as Alicia stared with her wide eyes now almost incredulous, he slashed her across the arm.

Blood as bright and red as anything seeped out, she stared down and just before the pain reared its ugly head she thought one bitter thought, ‘It looks big enough to be a second mouth…’

She suddenly screamed then, as it felt as though her arm had been torn off and the blood running down her arm was burning her. Her attacker put his hand over her mouth, gripped the knife between his teeth and ran one finger steadily up her arm, stopping at the new opening. He slid his finger in and caught the skin, tugging down.

Alicia’s eyes rolled back in her head, she screamed as loud as she could, the sound muffled by Kurt’s hand. Sweat started to run down her face, and Kurt saw something he couldn’t believe.

Alicia’s eyes, which were first a caramel brown were changing. The brown melted away, like mud washed away by the rain the color slithered from her eyes and down the veins in her eyes. The color left behind was a bright and clear blue, like the sky. Her pupils dilated, the pain so immense she could no longer bear it.

Alicia’s secret would remain hers, and Kurt would no longer exist or be even identifiable in a few moments.

You see, Alicia’s secret was quite simple now- Alicia Sandra had been born in another dimension. She was unlike others in her realm though, she wasn’t a mindless killer like those of her kind but rather the exact opposite and she never used her strength unless needed. She had left her dimension in hopes of finding a real home. As a result, she had to take on the appearance of a human, and she eased her pain, her physical pain, anyway, with drugs. Heroin was the best, and she used everyday not for the high (because it was too weak for her system anyway) but because it dulled the ache of her bones, of the fire in her.

Alicia had never once truly given in to her urges to kill, to rip and tear and mutilate- until Kurt had laid his hands on her.

Kurt, now awestruck, was pushed back and fell over his own feet. He looked up and watched Alicia; her long bleached hair almost thickening, it seemed, until he saw that her hair had branched out to become the softest feathers he had ever seen, the feathers started at her widow’s peak and grew smaller as they came down under her eyes. A few stray feathers clung to her neck, traveling down to her be lost under her shirt. Her pale skin became scaly and rough, almost callused. Her nose, which was slightly hooked to begin with, grew and stretched and she let out a scream as she threw her head back, her lips lengthening with it and her teeth becoming jagged and sharp. Her jacket tore suddenly, her scream turned into a furious bird cry and on her back were four wings, all roughly two feet in length and a foot tall. They were white and fleshy, bony with veins visible through the pink webs. Her hands had turned and twisted, fingers lengthening and hooking into claws that were a perfect bone white.

Kurt sat there, shaking, unable to believe.

Then she flew at him.

His screams weren’t heard over the speakers, over the drumming music and the laughing and chatting of the people outside. The people who were so blissfully unaware.

Alicia pinned him to the floor and he put his hands up in a last defense, she drew her claws back as she sat planted on her knees. With one last shriek of anger, Alicia drew her claws over his flesh, tearing and ripping, turning her bone colored skin red. Her wings fluttered and twitched as the lights in the dimly lit restroom flickered as well.

She pinned his arms above his head, sliced a neat line into his forearm and then hooked her claw into it. She tugged down, ripping the skin further as he screamed in agony, and she leaned in, beak brushing against his ear,

“How do you like it?” voice intertwined with venom and pure hatred. She then proceeded with her work, leaning down and nipping at his ear, her razor sharp beak sheering it off and leaving it a wet mess on the floor.

Alicia drew back, raised her claws in the air and brought them down with as much force as she possessed. His chest crunched, eyes bulging and wide with terror. She saw herself reflected back in his black eyes, and then brought her head down and opened her beak just enough. She yanked back and stood on her feet, one of his purely black eyes dangling from her mouth as she put one foot on his stomach, grabbed his foot and pulled.

The tearing sound that came from him, the gurgle as he choked on his blood and screamed, it was all so unbelievably….fulfilling.

Alicia smiled, tossed his leg behind her and got back on his chest, his blood sinking into her jeans, and grabbed his head.

As she did, as she turned his head and yanked up, she realized her pain was gone.

She threw his head against the wall, pulled his eye from her beak and walked over to the door, undoing to lock calmly. She tossed his eye up in the air, catching it and then glaring down at it.

Alicia was gone, she was just like the rest of her kind.

And she loved it.

She walked out of the bathroom, flew to the other side of the building and locked the only exit.

Alicia looked down at her prey and smiled.

 

Author's Note

I wrote this a few months ago, I had it posted on FictionPress and barely got anything for it, so I'm hoping to get some good responses here. :)

Reviews

[nono]

Wow this is amazing I'm not good at writing short stories not in the least! But you did a wonderful job!

[Voice11]

Holy Crapola!!!! you didnt get anything on this piece?? the only thing that i see as a lil bad in this is character development. Other than that, holy crap I actually winced at the bloody part.Major kudos to the descriptions!! =)

[Taylor H]

you have an extreme talent! dont waste it!

[Tallulah]

oooh I remember this. I love it. The idea is so original. I love you're description and the whole story is just amazing.

[Ameseule]

Good short story - definitely an interesting premise. Is this something you'd like to be part of something larger about Alicia? It feels like it would do really well as an anecdote in a novel.

Just a couple suggestions. If this is part of something larger, then that would give you a chance perhaps to explain the motive behind Kurt's attack. Even within this piece itself, you could probably do something to that effect, even if it's just a few words given to Alicia before/during the attack. It would make the exchange a little more believable. You could, instead, put some more background info (giving away why Kurt may hurt her later) in the beginning when you first mention him. You don't have to go into a whole story about Kurt (unless you'd like to, in something larger, of course) but a few more words on the subject would explain things a bit better.

I find the transition from the attack by Kurt to the explanation of Alicia's history a little unsteady, the "You see" is a bit out of perspective for my tastes. Also, if this is going to be a story of a being who goes from gentle and fighting her own nature to one who enjoys violence, I would spend more time on focusing on her gentle nature vs. the nature of her kind closer to the beginning of the story. By the time we hear about how she is different, she's essentially done being different - the next few lines start her attack on Kurt.

Other than that, I'd just read back through it with the editor switched on in your head. There's several places where you could use less words to say the same thing with greater concision. Example: "Alicia didn't really like him all that much, something about the way he looked at her didn't scare her but made her a little on edge." Here, you could take out "didn't scare her but" and it would mean the same thing. Another example: "She was unlike others in her realm though, she wasn't a mindless killer like those of her kind but rather the exact opposite and she never used her strength unless needed." You could take out "like those of her kind" (because you've already mentioned the others) and "but rather the exact opposite" (because that is already made obvious when you make the point) and you'd still have the same effect.

I hope I explained that well and gave you a few things to think about. Message me if you have any questions. Thanks for inviting me to review it!