Death of an Angel

I tried to make this quite poetical, and sad. Let me know how I did :)

I watch the humans from the heavens as the sun sets, dusting gold sun-rays across the clouds around me, full of grief at the suffering of the earth-mother. I gaze down from the sky-father, as I rest amongst the gentle clouds, where peace reins eternal, serene calmness. Pure whiteness is our world; our haven against the pain of the earth-mother. In this gold-sun moment, I seek the answer. I seek the secret of knowing, the knowledge of truth. I cast my mind back to the past times, seeking the answer which I know must be inside my soul.

***

We watch the humans as they go about their business, and we see them as they change, scorning the earth-mother and smothering her with the fumes from their burning-oil. The earth-mother cannot fight it, she must simply lie there and wait until she is finally given the eternal sleep, and only that way can she escape the choking grasp of the humans. It grieves us to know this pain of the earth-mother, and sometimes our sorrows become so great that the very clouds weep, and their tears shower down to earth. They are pure and innocent, full of gentle nourishment for the bruised and poisoned earth-mother, and yet the humans shake their heads at this bitter-sweet gift of the heavens, and hide away in their stone buildings until the weeping of the clouds passes.

We see all this with sadness, and although we were sorry for the earth-mothers plight, we did not truly know of the severity of her suffering. Until, that is, one of us took it upon herself to fall with the cloud-tears, so as to truly know the suffering of the earth-mother. She stayed amongst the humans, and then rose back to the sky-father after seven moon-rises and seven moon-falls. Black pollution riddled her soul, and in her mind there was the knowledge that she was dying, dying alongside the long-suffering earth-mother.

It was her wish to die alone, to spend her last moments simply remembering with only the weeping-clouds for company. So now she sits in quiet solitude, her golden hair caressing her face as she gazes out to the sky-father, and then down to the humans and the earth-mother, in the last moments before she falls into the final sleep. She is slowly dying as the disease seeps into her soul, curling its cold black fingers around her heart.

This I know. I alone know the true tragedy of what is occurring, and from this knowledge I can sense that the answer I am seeking is stepping ever closer, rising inside me alongside the coming of my soul-tears. I know this, for I am that one. I stayed among the humans, seeking the answer, forever seeking. And now dying. Forever my soul will sleep.

***

And so I sit, looking for the last time out over the gold-blushed clouds. At this moment, I feel closer to the earth-mother than ever before, and I know that wherever my soul sleeps, restored to pure whiteness in the moment of my passing, she will join me soon.

 Only now do I truly feel what I was seeking. The answer is there, with me, as I now see it has always been, but only now do I understand it. I share this new-found answer with the gold-softened clouds around me, and they weep as they perceive it. I am glad to be in this place of pure soul-rest, surrounded by these knowing-clouds, as I die. I am glad, and yet I cannot be truly glad, for I know all that has ever been. In this one moment, I see the answer. Finally, I know truth. I know, and I weep at the knowing.

With a sigh my golden eyes close for the last time as my soul-tears mingle with those of the clouds, and together they fall, doomed to be shunned by the humans below even as the earth-mother gratefully receives my last gift, as my soul gently rains into sleep eternal.

Author's Note

Please tell me how I can improve this, I am looking to make it good enough for publication, along with some others: "Alone" and "Eagle". I have really strong feelings on the Enviroment, and hopefully some of them came out in this piece. Tell me what you think...I'm open to constructive critisism.
My first piece on Writers Cafe.

Reviews

[Apryl Helmick]

I enjoyed the setting of the story, the descriptions were great. The story was very moving. However, it seemed somewhat abrupt. Perhaps you could describe what the angel saw, and experienced, while on Earth. Maybe describe how the angel is dying?

As I read, I wondered whether the angel was dying of pollution, human sins, or perhaps a little of both? In a way, human sins could be responsible for polluting the Earth.

[Legion]

I'm not sure you can improve it. A message that should be heeded by all. Such a sadness within this. Kudos.

[WriterMe]

This was just beautiful. The words seemed soft and open. Made my heart melt. But i agree with Firenzi. It did end a little abruptly. You might want to explain how the angel died...
Add a little more details towards the last two paragraphs.

But thats just me saying. For being a first piece, I think it was perfect. But according to your note, you dont think likewise. I say, re-read it after a few more days. You will know immediately what was missing and what you wanted to add.
-Niki