Orig. 11/9/14
Flowing
towards perfection, yet so far.
I try to bend with the wind but it takes me with force and breaks me.
Father God, you are my rock, you are my strength.
I must rely on you and only you to get me through.
Be a citadel of peace, let my beating heart be at one with your own.
Take my pride and beat it for the disobedient creature it is.
Go further into me; pull harder.
I am yours.
I want to surrender everything to you, give it all.
Pieces of my self, scattered in the stars, a sparkle of dust, dashed dreams,
desperate things.
I am a riddle without an answer, an answer without a question.
I am marked by mystery of spirit, soiled soul, a worn out tapestry on the wall
of will.
Refugee of the galaxy.
Fled a universe in search of victory.
Fled a flame in search of fame.
Now, in the corner of my mind, I cower under the power of time.
Harvest the hour. Seize the second. Mesmerise the moment.
I can take the hand of a ticking clock and manipulate the minute to match my
mission.
But then I miss the gong of God, the bell of beauty's message ringing true and
solid in the night.
"Surrender dear one."
On knee, I propose to the Universe Sovereign, I will marry you if you will have
me.
I will be your bride if you will abide.
Bind my mind to yours, my heart to yours, to never be apart, to coil in cosmic
coitus, to turn the tenderness of tarrying dreams into visions of very real
things.
I will let you hold me even when my pride wants to hold on to the humanness
around me.
I will let you caress me even when my anger paints bitterness on the canvas of
my life.
I will let you correct me even when my ego masks my vulnerability.
I surrender. I succumb. I seal my fate at the gate of eternity.
A thousand times I will tell you.
A thousand ways I will show you.
This is my testimony:
My eyes see only your breathing spirit in others.
My lips only whisper of your wisdom.
My ears only hear the harmonies of heaven.
My fingers only feel with healing faith.
My heart only beats with your blessings.
Oh Holy One.
I shall not want for more.
Even when I am misunderstood and betrayed by those I love and whom I thought
loved me;
even when words slay intentions and concepts of corruption are the swords of
sordid gossip;
even when those who worked so lovingly alongside me now will not genuinely look
at me;
even when the ways of the world are worshipped over the ways of the wise;
I will not waiver in weariness or compromise in complaint.
I will rise to the occasion, and after a day well spent,
I
will thank you for the blessings of the challenges Truth sent.