Chapter Twenty: A Moment Of Peace

Happy Birthday Han

Han wakes up to the sound of his door slowly opening,he opens one eye and tries to see in the darkness of his room, only a shadowy figure visible. The figure walks over to his window, grabs the curtains and yanks them violent, Brilliant light Flooding his room. He shuts his eyes and moans, pulling his blanket over his head, trying to shut out the light and keep his dream fresh in his mind.
 
"Get out of Bed Birthday boy!" Katie screams jumping onto his bed and pulling the covers off of him. Suddenly her hands were on his waist tickling him trying to wake him up, he squirms, shooting his hand out he grabs her wrist and yanks her to him, making her fall across his chest. Not letting go he flips the position until she was under him, her eyes Wide in awe.
 
"Don't tickle me." He says trying to sound mean. Her face breaks out in huge smile and he lets her go, slipping off the bed and heading to his dresser for a shirt. Grabbing the top one He throws it over his head and pulls it on It was only after he had fixed it in place that he realized it was one of his favorites, one that had a lot of memories. It was a dark blue shirt with orange long sleeves and a Japanese design on the front, memories of Shawn learning to Drift flicker in his mind and he smiles. He looks over at Katie and his smile falters. She was sitting at the end of his bed with her hands under her, her feet kicking slightly. It had been two weeks since the Cade incident and Katie hadn't really left the house, content on hiding away in her room, only letting Melina in and out. "Hey You OK?" He asks going over to sit down next to her, realizing she had been lost in thought. She manages to look at him and he can see the affects of her ordeal raging behind her eyes, but she just puts a smile eon her face and jumps off the bed.
 
"YUP! Now come on its Saturday the sun is shining and you have been sleeping all afternoon. Its 1 in the afternoon already!" She says in a rush trying to chase away her sadness, making Han's heart squeeze. She was trying to act strong trying to not let it hurt her but he knew her too well. She was screaming on the inside, tormented and breaking down, and he didn't know how to make it go away, So He did the next best thing .He put on a smile and let her drag him down the stairs to the kitchen where much to his surprise The others were gathered.
 
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they all shout to him making him laugh and shake his head. Dom had one of those silly paper horns in his mouth, Bryan a cone birthday hat on top of his head and the girls wore matching grins. Mia lit the candles on a Delicious looking Cake, The numbers 2 and 6 glaring up at him.
 
"Make a wish." Katie says slipping around him to stand next to Brayn who puts his arm around her shoulders. Han just stares at all his friends before settling on the girl he cared for. He closes his eyes and sends up a quiet prayer that she would be able to make it through this tough time and then , pursing his lips he blows out the candle. Opening his eyes to watch the smoke curl through the air around Katie's face rising above her like a smokey broken Halo, she looks at him and smiles a small little smile, her eyes crinkling around the corners,and he knew in that moment that she would be able to make it through this. The sounds of obnoxious cheering Breaks the spell between them and Katie looks down, Han blinks and the rest of the world comes rushing back, The sounds of fake hooting and hollering filling his ears. He looks around and sees the others Throwing Confetti around and Dom starts to sing "for He's a jolly good fellow" so off key he makes the other groan and throw confetti at him until he stops, ending it in a deep booming laugh.
 
"Cut the Cake Han." Mia says pressing a cake knife in his hands. He looks up at Mia with an eyebrow raised, surprised she would trust him with her baby. As if knowing what he was thinking she smiles and sticks her tongue out, " I trust you enough not to cut yourself or destroy the cake... that badly" She says letting go of the knife. He laughs and turns to the beautiful cake in front of him, it truly was a master piece. The cake had black cake fondue around it that he knew would instantly dissolve in his mouth as soon as it hit his tongue, he could practically taste the rich chocolate. On top of the cake surrounding the candles were little sugar street racing cars that he knew Mai had made from scratch, each one a different color representing the flavor they were, red for cherry, pink for strawberry, blue, green Orange. He smiles a small sad smile as he remembers his racing days. Stepping closer to the cake so he could cut it he stops when he sees the design that was around the edges.Before when he wasn't close all he saw was deep purples and blues with a few strains of pink, now close up he could see that the colors were blended together to create a sunset above an all to familiar skyline, it was the city of Tokyo. Emotions well up in his throat, tears burning his eyes.
 
"Mia it's beautiful." He whispers looking at his right at her to see Pride swelling in her eyes. He smiles a genuine smile at her and hugs her with one arm, "Thank you, I mean its so beautiful I don't want to Cut it, do you have a back up cake?" He says only slightly teasing. She just shakes her head and laughs.
 
"Once you taste the middle you wont want to save it" She chuckles. He smiles and taking the cake knife he slowly cuts the cake, the metal easily slicing through the delicate skin of the fondue, releasing a heady aroma of Red Velvet insides making him Beam. Red Velvet Cake, his favorite. He cuts six large pieces and as the others form a line behind him he gives them each a piece. "Theres vanilla ice cream in the freezer if anyone wants some." Mia says taking her piece and heading to the freezer without waiting for a response. Once everyone Had gotten their goodies they file outside  to the back yard to sit at the long table Dom always put out in the Summer.
 
Katie Plunks her food next to Han and sits down, Laughing hysterically when she sees him shoveling the cake into his mouth like he hadn't eaten in years.
 
"Woah Slow down before you choke!" She laughs making the others look up. Han stops, fork halfway to his mouth and blushes a deep red when he realizes everyone was watching. Making a audible gulp he swallows the food in his mouth and gives them a nervous grin making the others laugh along with her. Trying to hide his embarrassment he takes a swig of his Carona, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.
 
"What? Her cake is good, plus its my birthday, I can do as I please." He says making them laugh harder. And that's how the day went. Katie sits next to Han well into the night as the others gather around laughing and cracking jokes, many at Han's expense, though he didn't take them seriously knowing they were just messing around, He even made a few jokes himself.
 
Although Katie Laughed along with them and participated, smiling and answering at all the right moments there was a sadness around her that she couldn't shake. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes, her laugh if anyone bothered to listen closely sounded hollow and forced. When the others gave Han a few presents here and there she almost felt silly when she handled him yet another box of his favorite Chips, feeling cheap and redundant. But when He opened the box and his eyes widened with joy she felt relieved and happy that she apparently made the right choice. He looks up at her and flashes her his 100 watt smile that always took her breath away. The others had already moved on to something else and were laughing at something Bryan had said so they didn't see the small Frown replacing His smile as he stares at Katie. Katie just stares back at him, feeling like he was looking past her and searching her soul, the question in his eyes shining through. Looking at her that way chased away the sadness and for a moment everything was perfect, She gives him a weak smile that said "I'm getting there" and he nods his head, turning to join in on the conversation. As soon as his eyes left her's she felt the sadness descending once again, crashing into her, bashing her emotions around. Suddenly it was all she could do not to break down and cry. Jumping up quickly she startles the others from their fun and they look at her in surprise, making her face turn red.
 
"I'm not feeling good," She says putting her arms around her middle giving them a grimace, " I think I ate too much cake." the lie falling easily from her mouth,the others accepting it without question. She excuses herself and heads back inside, the balmy air from the Los Angles summer hear following her inside the Air conditioned house. She drags herself up the stairs but the sadness was so suffocating she just plops down in the middle of the stairs and puts her head in her hands, her knees drawn close. The tears flood down her face as she tries to keep her sobs quiet. Strong Arms that were as familiar as the back of her hand circle around her and she lets Han pull her to him, resting her head on his chest as he held her tightly.
 
"Katie just let go, its OK, you don't have to be strong every minute of the day." Han says as Katie tries to pull away. He lets her go and watches as she whip es her tears, though more quickly replace them.
 
"It's stupid for me to be upset, You stopped it from getting worse. IT wasn't even that bad." She says sniffling, her voice coming out squeaky. Han just looks at her with horror in his face. He grabs her by the shoulders and restrains himself from shaking some sense into her beautiful head.
 
"Are you Kidding me? Katie that b*****d drugged you and was going to Hurt you! If he had hurt you, If I hadn't gotten there when I did- " He stops as the familiar blinding rage starts to boil.
 
"But that's just it, You did save me, you stopped him, He didn't hurt me." Katie whispers watching his eyes darken with that terrifying rage. She leans into his arms resting her cheek against his chest, trying to calm him.
 
"If anything had happened to you Katie I don't know how I would survive." He whispers so softly she almost thought she was hearing things. It wasn't until he had lifted her chin to look him in the eyes that she knew what she had heard was real. The anger in his eyes was gone, replaced with so many emotions Katie's breath fails her.
 
"What. What do you mean?" She asks after finding her breath again.
 
"I'm saying that I can't live without you in my life anymore. I'm saying that I hate this hostile bullshit we are going through." He admits, " I hate fighting with you Katie it kills me, I hate seeing you heartbroken and I hate the fact that it is partially because of me.". Han stops ans stares into her eyes, their bright green iris shining with so many emotions it seemed to light up her whole face. At that moment she was so beautiful, his fallen angel. He puts his other hand on the side of her face and his heart pounds as she leans into it, closing her hypnotizing eyes ans sighing in happiness.
 
" I don't want to fight with you either Han," She says half opening them again, " I'd rather have you there in my life then fighting, because-" Emotions choke the words and she stops
 
"Because you mean everything to me too Katie" He says finishing her sentience. She sucks in her breath and her eyes widen. All thoughts of Right and Wrong fly out of his mind as he leans in close, her lips meeting his half way. The shape of her lips against his drive him wild and he wraps his arms around her bringing her in closer, hers tangling into his long hair, She sighs and even though everything in him Screamed at him to pull away, that someone could walk in and see, he slips his tongue into her mouth and traces against hers, her mouth tasting like red velvet and fruit punch. A moan of desire rumbles deep inside her and she shifts, practically straddling him.
 
It was then that the warning bells in his head Flash, as desire pools in places he didn't want to even think about. He tears his mouth from hers and shifts her so she was sitting back on the step. His breathing ragged with lack of oxygen and raw desire, he leans his forehead against hers and opens his eyes, seeing the pink flush across her cheeks as she tries to catch her breath.
 
"Katie we can't do this, Not when there is so much against us." He says in breathy whispers. She pouts her lips and crosses her arms making him groan. "Katie Please see the logic." He pleads with her. Katie Just sits there stubbornly.
 
"I don't see the problem. You like me and I Lo-"  Quickly she stops and stands up, her four letter words halting on her tongue. He sucks in his breath, knowing exactly what she was about to say. She loved him, and as much as it terrified him to admit, he loved her too,more then he should. He stands up and leans against the banister, raking his hands in his hair, helpless agings the emotions this girl created in side him. He looks at her with pleading eyes. She sighs and drops her arms. "Alright Fine I give up! Yes I understand why we can't be together, Age difference, Family destruction Whatever," She says, anger and defeat tinging her words. She looks back up at him with such determination that he holds his breath in waiting. On the Narrow step she manages to stand in front of him so close he could wrap his arms around her. "IF this is the end of whatever we are then I need to do something." She says staring at him, once again hypnotizing him

 

 The taste of her lips on his for a second time almost drives him off the edge. He  wraps his arms around her tightening them as he lifts her up to get a better angle smirking against her lips when he feels her gasp against his . He kisses her with urgency trying to convey his feelings for her in that one kiss. Finally unable to breath he tears his lips away from her and puts her down. Looking down at her and her looking up they both try to catch their breaths.  He rests his chin on the top of her head as she snuggles against him.  Once they were finally under control she painfully leaves his arms.

 

"goodnight Han, happy birthday." She whispers turning to walk up the remainder of stairs to her room, Not looking back.

 

"Goodnight Angel, I love you." He says, the three little words with so much power falling off his lips with ease. He didn't want to hide it from her anymore.

 

The words almost make her run back to him and press her lips to his for  third time. But she steels herself from the emotions spinning inside her and marches to her room. It was only inside that she fell to the ground, her sobs rippling over her body for a whole new reason. It wasn't about the ordeal, or the fact that a guy she had trusted almost hurt her. It was for the relationship that never happened. It was for the Love she now knew he held for her but could never show. It was for the Love she Held so close to her heart that she was afraid it would burst. WHY did the universe have to rip him away from her WHY?

 

Han closes his door, trying to block out the sounds of her tears, tears of his own racing down his face. In an explosion of Anger he spins around and punches the wall near his door, his knuckles screaming in protest.

 

" GOD DAMNIT" he shouts, not caring about the pain. He flops onto his bed in utter heartbreak. Was he doing the right thing? IF he was why did it hurt so f*****g badly?