Chapter Seven; the Truth Is Out

feeling in the open

Being so wrapped up in her Grief Katie didn't hear the back door open or Han walking over to her. She didn't notice him until she heard the Groan of the second swing as it gave under his weight. She didn't care, She didn't care if he walked away and never came back. He had hurt her too badly. At first he didn't say anything, but she could feel his eyes on her, she was too hurt to feel self conscious right then.

 

"Katie please look at me," he whispers, a slight begging in his tone, " Please". But Katie ignored him. She knew that if she looked at him she would fall to pieces again. She hears him sigh and feels him move closer to her, her whole body stiffens. Then she sees as well as feels his fingers under her chin and gently lift her eyes to met his. She drinks in his eyes, They were so black she couldn't tell where his irises ended and the pupils began, the early morning sun reflected off them making them shine. He was attractive not only on the inside but on the outside too, tears leaked down her cheek as she realized that he could Never be hers. At the sight of her tears she sees pain flash across his face before he takes his other hand and gently wipes away her tears. " Will you stay looking at me if I take my hand away?" He asks, his voice so low she barely heard him. She nods her head, never straying from his shiny eyes. He lets go and sits back on his swing. He closes his eyes for a minute and looks like he was having an internal battle/ conversation with himself. Here is come, She thinks, He's going to tell me what a child I've been. She holds her breath and refuses to let the tears she knew were coming to fall. She wouldn't cry until she was safe in her own room. She closes her eyes and braises herself.

 

" I've been trying so hard to do the right thing that I have been ignoring what every part of my body has been screaming at me since that first meeting a month ago" He says making her eyes pop open and almost bug out of her head.

 

Han watches as her eyes spring open, a look of utter shock claiming her face. If the subject wasn't so serious he might have laughed. She just stares at him, her bright green eyes searching his own trying to find if he was messing with her. Hope bloomed in their depths, making them glow, before sudden walls almost block their beauty. He's walls slamming into place not only in her mind but in her heart and feelings as well. She just looks at him with weary mistrust.

 

"What do you mean? What have you been ignoring?" She asks, her voice cold as ice. He tries not to flinch at the accusation he knew was there. She wanted him to admit it, of course she did, he didn't expect anything less. Here goes everything, He thinks, If I admit it now there's no going back. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

 

"You know exactly what I am talking about but if you want me to say it then fine," He says looking at her, his eyes raw with emotions, making her hold her breath, " I like you Katie, and not as a sister, or a friend,  I truly care about you, I'm falling and I can't stop, It knocks me off my feet how much I care about you. It's crazy." He says letting the words fall, it was like once the words starting coming out they wouldn't stop, they were practically fighting their way out of his mouth, dying to let her hear them. He watches her suck in her breath as her eyes grow round. He liked her! He truly cared for her, like she cared for him. This sexy, loving, kind man loved her! a broken abused child! She suddenly wanted to act like a little kid and jump up and cheer, let her feelings ring out for everyone to here. One look at his strained tense face shatters her small victory, making her so terrified that she shivered even though it was almost 80 degrees out, it was a shiver a pure dread.

 

"So what now?" She squeaks terrified of his answer. She watched him and saw his internal battle clear in his dark shiny eyes. She knew he was struggling with what was right and wrong. She knew that them being together was wrong, what with the ten year difference and all, She also knew that he didn't want to disrespect Dom or Bryan, no one did. But at that moment she didn't CARE! she just wanted to be with him, Every bone in her body was screaming out to him. She wanted nothing more then to curl up in his arms and kiss him till there was no more oxygen left in her body, but she kept herself still. He sags in his swing in defeatraking his hands through his hair

 

"We can't be together Katie," he finally admits. Before she can open her mouth and protest he puts up his hand. " Katie we just can't be together. The age difference is to great. If anyone found out about us I could go to jail. Worse you WOULD be taken away from here, the system doesn't know you live here and if they found out about an inappropriate relationship they would rip you away from here and put you somewhere else. I WONT let that happen if I can help it." He says and looks at her with pleading eyes, "Please Katie, Please understand that, we can't risk that. I WONT risk that, no matter what my feelings are." He says with such force he could see her looking at him with Awe. He watches as she too has her own internal battle against the right  thing and her own feelings, He sympathized her for he knew all to well what she was going through, he was going through it at that very moment. Finally he sees Logic dawn in her eyes, as well as sadness so heartbreaking he was tempted to say screw it all.

 

" I understand perfectly, I know the age difference is to risky, and I know Dom and Bryan would have You're head. I just wish.." Her sentience fades as her voice trembles with sadness. He takes her hand and weaves his fingers through hers, the touch almost sending him over the edge. She stares at their intertwined hands and tears slip down her face. With his free hand he wipes them away making her smile shyly at him. " Can I ask you a favor?" She asks, slight fear entering her already troubled eyes. Han swallows the lump in his throat and nods. At this point he would do anything for her. " Can you still stay in my room at night? please?" She asks mentally crossing her fingers. A thousand scenarios crashing through his brain in a millisecond

 

"Katie We can't I-" His sentience fades as she suddenly tugs hard on their hands and squeezes with surprising strength.

 

" Nothing will happen. I understand that. And that's not even why I want you there. Its just, The nightmares seem to disappear when you're there, I feel safe. Do you know how long its been since I have felt completely safe? Not since that day Dom and Bryan stole me away. So please Han Please," she looks at him desperation and slight hysterics and panic entering her voice and eyes. That ferice urge to protect her reared its head full force that it nearly knocked him off the swing. It was in that moment he knew he didn't have a choice. He gripped her hand and yanked her forward, catching her in his arms when she fell. He held her so tightly and suppressed a moan of bliss when he felt her cling to him just as hard.

 

"Yes Katie, I'll stay."