Reaching

Reaching for an object in a dream,

you never can quite touch -

context unknown, people covered up - 

knowing there's a face in there;

One you can trust,

slipping through your fingers;

shifting, sifting, never quite yours,

more akin to dust.

I don't want to lose what I never had

And feel attached to that;

I want the man who used me,

wrecked havoc with my heart, 

kissed and confused me.

We hid in a cupboard;

a self-styled palace of our making,

beauty burst in the form of colour-

full light in the in the darkness;

fighting past our guards,

leaving space and silence;

answering unspoken questions,

formed over the holding of our hands

and crossing of minds;

there's something superior,

in the unity of our halves.

Welded together arm round neck and toe round thigh,

face to chest, lips to hair -

smelling a scent made for the other,

bottled up and saved for some time later -

curled up hiding from eyes so blue and so clear;

neither one could, deny I belong here. 

Author's Note

This is the first time I have shared like this.
I think that perhaps the second verse should be cut, but I suppose it's what gives the emotional context of the poem an identity, so perhaps the reason it was difficult to cut.

Reviews

[alifeacoustic]

I would suggest you leave it as it is. The fact that you wrote it, posted it, yet have doubts about it are only natural, but as you say in your authors note, it gives it its emotional context.
I think you did a great job in portraying the dream quality, at first fearful, to the realisation of belonging, with all the raw emotion in between.
slipping through your fingers; shifting, sifting, never quite yours, more akin to dust. Powerful description that helps bring the situation to life and make the unreality feel more real.
Thank you for sharing this, I really enjoyed it.

[Aphy!]

You shouldn't be afraid/ashamed of your work. The fact that you had the guts to post it is great. But you'll get used to it and you'll soon find a way out of your fear.
Did a very nice job with this lovely poem
How it speaks about reaching for something weather it being a goal or something else and you did a great job portraying that.
I liked this
And you have potential
Just believe in yourself and you'll be fine

Take care

Aphy