Longing

There no worse feeling than, regret.

7 years had passed. How vaguely does time affect a person. His now pale and blank face told a story of an uncertain destined life. He still feels a void in himself. Many things had changed him, many things made him realise the reality of life, but day dreaming was his addiction. His escape from all the regret.

The sound of people chattering and calm music was heard. He sat at a table around the corner stirring the drink in his hand. "People often vent to me, I dont share the stories, I only listen." The bartender, Steve, said while wiping the glass in his hand. "I..."
He listened carefully. "This girl...I dont know..I wish I loved her..I wish she knew. "
"You wish?" Steve raised an eyebrow, His statement confused him a bit.
He nodded and finished his drink in one go. "One more .." While the drink was being prepared, He took out a peice of newspaper from his wallet, and placed in on the table. YOUNG GIRL FOUND DEAD. ATTEMPT OF SUICIDE. POLICE INVESTIGATION ONGOING.
"This is from 7 years before, I knew her..."
Steve looks at him expecting a further elaboration of his statement. He sighs. "I was with her for sometime of my life.."
"She must've been a nice person. " He nods.
Steve keeps the newly made drink on the table. "Your whiskey Old Fashioned, Sir."
"Thankyou."
He takes a sip and closes his eyes to let the alcohol sink in. " Its alright, I hope you find a way to keep going." Steve states.

A soft smile curving his lips. A little chuckle was heard. His memories took him back in time. On the terrace, holding her hand. "Its peaceful here isnt it?" She smiled at him. " We should come here often " he says.
He wonders what happened in that moment. He wonders why he was never informed before.
"What if I jump?"
"You wouldn't, you silly girl"
But then, why did she jump?
There was no time to process what had happened. She would often let her intrusive thoughts come out, but never acted upon them. He saw her lifeless body from the balcony, blood splattered around. He shut his eyes and wished that when he'd open them it would all be a dream. And that she would still be with him holding his hand.
What went wrong?
"Sir?"
He opened his eyes and saw the tissue offered to him. "Oh." The tears fell
unknowingly.
"Water?"
"I made a mistake."
Steve gave him a reassuring look to continue.
"I made a mistake..."
He kept saying that several times. The little romances, the care, the love, she gave him all without expectation. Being by her side made him happy as well. But he never had the courage to let her know. He could never love another the same way.That was the mistake of loving her. Regret was his only punishment.
He kept some money on the table, took his coat and left the bar. It was raining but he didnt bother to open his umbrella. She loved the rain, and just maybe he wanted to as well. And he still searches for her face in a crowded room. He still hopes to hear her laugh distantly. He still wishes someday he'd stumble upon her. He still discovers hints of her in another.
For all that he wants is to relive those moments with her. Again.