My Room

Welcome to the wild life safari...

Just this morning I heard a loud scream
And it was followed by a big boom
Figured out it came from my mom
She had entered my room

Now just to give you an insight
I might not be the cleanest person around
So it's justified that my cupboard
Basically lies on the ground

For you know how my room may look
I'll continue with what went down
As soon as my mom saw the place
I spotted her with a big frown

I accept that I have some flaws
So I can't help losing one shoe
But God knows why my mom says
That my room looks like a zoo

Perhaps I'm the Mowgli in there
Living with the animals
But I can't deny the fact that
My room looks like a rubble

Here is how my mom describes it:
There is a coat on the floor
Socks on the dressing table
And it doesn't end here, there's more

So apparently I can't hang
My garments from the curtain hooks
And also that my clothes
Can't be where I keep my books

It's utter nonsense I said
And things were fine until she saw the bed
There were chocolate stains on it
"You're clumsy" is what my mom said

Wait until she sees the bathroom
I didn't turn off the tap and the water drips
I guess I'll have to clean the shampoo
So that mumma doesn't slip

I guess I'll have to keep it clean
Or else she'll throw me out
But as far as it I am concerned
I will dirty the streets too without any doubt.

My mom challenged me thereafter
And cleanliness is my test
But incase I get deposited in the attic
You know which place is in ruins next

Author's Note

Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

Reviews

[Zoya]

Haha, I haven't read a more relatable piece than this! You know, keeping your room untidy is an art, it arouses creativity...which some people fail to understand...sighs. If, by chance, I say this to my mom, I'd better be ready to get kicked out of the house lol.
I enjoyed reading this! Keep writing!

[Sonakshi Arora]

Thank you very much :)

[Zoya]

No worries

[BlackPrince]

I like the straight-forward way you wrote this poem, the daily domestic dynamics between parent and child so relatable to everybody's experience of home.
The rhymes flow perfectly with the concept depicted.

But, I wonder, why didn't you include the punctuations?
Obviously your poem is perfectly understood.
But, as a serious writer, you need to take every aspect of your writing seriously.
Punctuations are very important. You are a poet, and people look up to what you have to say, although you write for yourself as a first priority. Still, you have an audience.
Imagine, somebody that struggles out there with vocabulary and grammar and punctuations;
are they better off in their learning after reading your poem?
Consider every aspect of writing in a 360 degrees holistic approach.

WELL DONE!!!

[Sonakshi Arora]

Thank you for the tip sir! Nothing like a constructive review! Will keep in mind the next time I pen down something .

[Coyote Poetry]

Me and wife. Collectors of things not needed.
"I guess I'll have to keep it clean
Or else she'll throw me out
But as far as it I am concerned
I will dirty the streets too without any doubt. "
I liked the above lines. I would do the same. Thank you for sharing the entertaining words and poetry.
Coyote

[Sonakshi Arora]

Heheh thanks a lot! This review means a lot to me. Do check out my other works on childhood cancers. It would be much appreciated :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I will read more and you are welcome.