This is a fun a powerful read that speaks true to many writers (heck, I'll even say all, since it is indeed safe to say all are represented in this poem). My only constructive criticism is that your musicality doesn't flow quite well, particularly around stanza 4, and then it comes back for a bit only to be lost again. I can't tell whether it was because of the want to rhyme well or simply from lack of other ways to word the line, but at times it gets a tad wordy, and rhymes are not hitting with the bang they often have, and the musicality more importantly is flowing with a clunky pace of sorts. If you read it aloud to yourself, you'll be able to detect where the lines can be pruned to help the musicality. Well done otherwise. Love the message.
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you for the constructive criticism! Much appreciate!
I'm honestly speechless for a moment. That was, amazing, in every way. It spoke so much truth, in a way that was pleasant to read and understand. I even teared up a little, because it was honestly that great. Thank you, for writing this. I'll be sure to share it later, because my company computer has most social medias blocked.
Thank you, again, for the read.
Rating should be over 100 but I can only put what it allows
Wow...Now thats standing tall...thanks...somebody pisses you?calm down dear...cheers to your writing.. read moreWow...Now thats standing tall...thanks...somebody pisses you?calm down dear...cheers to your writing...now let me do my rhyming..😊
"Touche'"
Dont judge a writer you say
That's normal for them people coz they are lay
We need to "understand" them...says Hemingway
Reaching out will end up in dismay
Our world is just too far away
For them Our existence is a mystery
With shades of gray
They talk s**t just walk away
They're all empty words anyway
A whole new level of the word cliche'.
This is going to be a bit long but I swear it is funny please read it don't go....
Hello fellow writers! I once wrote a poem which somehow got selected for my school magazine. Then I wrote a poem w.. more..