Ghosts of Time

Wrote this for a friend.

Silver shadows line the halls
these ghostly figures loom
listen to their unearthly calls,
the anguish of their doom

Specters made of pale moon light
they linger in the dark
their anger will only fuel their might
and pierce your mortal heart

For time has forsaken them all,
the forgotten and the damned,
and if you hear their ghostly call
you will perish by their hands

The fallen ones they want respite,
their malice knows no bounds,
they will grasp your soul, still you with fright

and scorch these fertile lands 

Time will never threaten them,
these children of the dark
their sacrifice has bound them,
to the darkness in your heart 

Reviews

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

Very well described, love the poem. Beautifully written.

Kaze~

[Chris Atkinson]

fantastic poem mate, deep as the ocean and worded perfectly. nice writing.

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you Chris, for both of your reviews and sorry it took so long to respond. I'm glad you enjoyed it

[Chris Atkinson]

Fantastic poem and unbelievably well writen, realy looking forward to reading the rest of your work

[s y e]

Holy schmokes dude, this is jam packed full with a little bit of everything. Your imagery is powerful and vivid. You kept me on the edge of my seat, holding on, quite a freaky poem but I loved it!

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you noodle, i was going for freaky! Intentionally meant to be in the cover of a black metal bands album. Glad you liked it!

[jane7z]

Wow! You pack a lot of imagery and atmosphere in a few stanzas. Frightening as you can almost see a specter reaching for you. Yet beautiful comparing it to the moon.

[Taylor_McCutcheon]

Frightening! Great poem :)

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you, glad you liked it!

[jonah]

i really like the atmosphere in this poem, the darkness in it. These ghosts bring it with them wherever they go. well written.

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you Jonah, i'm glad you liked it!

[just Penny]

A dark tale of another realm. I was surprised at the "mature" rating as there weren't any graphic blood and guts type stanzas. I like the rhyming scheme and agree with C. Rose. The final stanza was my favorite. Penny

[SonOfPlunder]

The mature content warning doesn't actually apply in this case, i will have to remove it. Thanks for pointing that out and reviewing, glad you liked it

[C. Rose]

Chilling. Down to the bone.

Favorite bits "time will never threaten them ... "

I recommend putting some time into rethinking the beat. I almost felt it, but I don't think it is quiet even. Try things like contractions when you need one less beat. The "still you with fright" line really throws the pattern due to its length.

I enjoyed this thrilling piece. Reminded me of Nazgul.

Courtesy of the Constructive Critics
Please "Pay it Forward" and review one of your fellow member's pieces.

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you for taking the time to review this and i will definitely take what you said into consideration. I put this up as it was, raw, didn't take any time to edit it, but was pretty happy with it overall. I will definitely take the time to comment on someone elses writing, asap. Thanks

[Robbie~xoxo~]

OH WOW! I LOVE THIS!

It would be awesome to hear you recite this... I imagine an eerie pirate's voice. ;)
This is a frightening cautionary tale, well written..

Nicely done, my friend!

Robbie~xoxo~:)

[SonOfPlunder]

Hahah, well funnily enough there is a photo of my dressed as a pirate on here, i will definitely recite it next time i'm dressed up! Thank you, glad you liked it! :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Ha! That would be too funny... pleaseeeeeeeeeeee wear the pirate outfit... You'll get a ton of readers! ;)

[SonOfPlunder]

I'll definitely give it a go! ;)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I'll buy tickets to that show... let me know. :))

[SonOfPlunder]

Heh, you'll be the first i tell! :)

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Cool!... I'll be there, sitting in the front row! :D

[SonOfPlunder]

Awesome, i have a groupie ;) lol

[Robbie~xoxo~]

'A' groupie??... lol
Yes you do, my friend... yes you do... ;)

[SonOfPlunder]

Hahaha, awesome!