The Flesh Eaters

Another dark poem for you all, though this one done in a different style, thanks to some advice from a fellow poet. Enjoy

There is a place down below
beneath the city streets
it is a place of pain and woe,
it's where the cannibals eat

They stalk the tunnels for their prey
bounding through the gloom
their hunger grows everyday 
this place will be your tomb

Twisted limbs and bloodshot eyes
like something spawned form Hell
they are the eaters of the flesh
these deadly cannibals 

So take care whilst you sleep tonight
and don't go out alone
they can smell your fear and your fright
and will take you from your homes

For they are always hungry 
and they want you for their meal
for if they drag you down below
then your fate is surely sealed 

Reviews

[Thomas Skahill]

This poem reminds me alot of the Morlocks from Huxley's "A Brave New World", is this intentional? I feel like it could use some imagery or describe the fear we should be experience at the existence of cannibals beneath our feet.

[SonOfPlunder]

No, it was intentional, though i am a fan of Huxley. I wasn't sure whether to extend this piece and make it longer, but i was happy with what impact it already had, and didn't want to disturb that. Thank you for reading though!

[SonOfPlunder]

That was meant to say wasn't intentional

[Thomas Skahill]

Yea I really liked it, keep it up. Just thought id put down my two cents.

[SonOfPlunder]

I appreciate your feedback and taking the time to read it, thanks :)

[Fran Marie]

a real dark chiller with vivid and creepy descriptives ....Nicely Penned!!

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you, glad you liked it!

[Ghost of Jupiter]

wow, this is quite creepy sir! haha, but is beautifully crafted and I enjoyed it none the less. You really have a way of painting images of these creatures from below. Delightfully dark!

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you very much, the darker the better of course! :)

[HeazerH]

I love how this mixes beauty and horror

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you. I'm glad you liked it!

[HeazerH]

When horror is presented beautifully like this it is my favorite type of writing.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Twisted limbs and bloodshot eyes
like something spawned form Hell
---
Twisted limbs and bloodshot eyes
like something spawned from Hell
---
So take care whilst you sleep tonight
and don't go out alone
they can smell your fear and your fright
---
So take care whilst you sleep tonight
and don't go out alone
they can smell fear and fright
---
seems these areas need a bit of attention...
yet the scene like the other I read ---
gives much --- the making of the plot ---
and warning signs --- etched in...

[Lord Chernabog]

Your style is horrid and disgusting... and I absolutely love it! Keep up the wonderful and grizzly work :)

[Matt Thomas]

I gave this a 75 because it seems like it could have much more potential...You definitely gave this write a very Walking Dead/Thriller type of feel...It would be great lyrics for a song...I definitely enjoyed the third set...Although it didn't rhyme as well, rhyming isn't always the biggest thing about a poem...Its the very descriptive way you write things...Twisted limbs and Bloodshot eyes...I can see the walking dead coming through the window right now...Spawned from hell, eaters of flesh, just those few words fill the palette of any hungry reader...Very good job...but you have the potential to do just that much better

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you very much! I am a huge fan of the walking dead, i actually watched this weeks episodes not long before i wrote this, it definitely inspired me. I did struggle slightly with the third verse, to find something that sufficiently rhymed, but i was very pleased with the other lines so i didn't want to completely change it. As a poet i'm still finding my feet, but thank you for your words of confidence!

[Matt Thomas]

About two years ago I was one of the best reviewers on here especially of poetry because people liked my honesty and my explanations of how I saw certain things...Not just the thing writes hate seeing..."Yeah it was good"...or..."Hey I really liked this" Five word answers that show they didn't even care to read it, hense they didn't care about it...But you show a lot of promise bud...If you want to, check out my project....Its a graphic novel in screenplay form...If you want to review it I would love the same response that I give...I look forward to reading more from you

[SonOfPlunder]

Again, thank you! Graphic novel in screen play form? Interesting! I'm a huge graphic novel fan, also a huge fan of the manga Shakespeare graphic novels, so this sounds very intriguing! With all the praise you'v given me, i'll be sure to take time to return the favour! :)

[Tina Louise UK]

wow...love it! Great pic too...love me some gore! Good one hun :) x

[SonOfPlunder]

Hah yeah, i was looking for a picture that was suitably gruesome to match it. Glad you like!

[Tina Louise UK]

Welcome hun, I love horror!