This is an excellent sonnet. The short, two-line stanzas create a quick rhythm like running, which is how the poem begins. With each new stanza you draw a new scene in a moving picture, and in only so many words no less.
The overarching message is so powerful, but its not an empty statement. Each stanza builds up towards the end with the fast rhythm, desperation of the prey because of the hunters "bearing down," the pride and the courage felt by the prey, and making the final stand. It all comes together to paint the epic picture of -at least in my mind- a samurai, much like the story of Musashibo Benkei, who died fighting and standing.
I loved this poem very much. Using so few words and lines and yet drawing these beautiful scenes and instilling such strong emotions into the reader was very impressive. One might say I felt inspired. Thank you for submitting.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you very much Mason, that is an extremely kind review! When i wrote this, what i pictured in m.. read moreThank you very much Mason, that is an extremely kind review! When i wrote this, what i pictured in my mind was a native American Indian running through his own lands, being hunted by the imperialistic settlers. I am familiar with the story of Msashibo Benkei, again very kind of you to associate my work with that story! I am very glad you enjoyed it
10 Years Ago
You're welcome. I can definitely see that image as well.Thanks again.
This is MORE like it...This is definitely a breath of fresh poetic air...Or should I say deadly...When you can read something and the beat of a war drum is pounding in your head as you read it just shows how terrific and uplifting something can be...Leonidas and the 300 would be bowing down to this write...Short and to the point...But with words big enough to give the reader that punch in the face and wake them up!!! Excellent stuff...You will definitely die free but if you keep writing like this, your writing won't be free for long..LoL
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
That is seriously high praise!! Thank you very much!
"If I am to die, I will die free"--I love this line especially. It evokes passion for life--after all without passion, I think we roll over and die and become victims of apathy.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you, i couldn't agree more with you. Without passion, it would be a tedious waste of life
I really enjoyed this imagery is quite good in it, kinda made me think of Indians fighting for their free land which is probably complete opposite of what you where going for haha but I did really enjoy it
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
You actually hit the nail on the head! I actually had them in mind when i wrote this, an Indian warr.. read moreYou actually hit the nail on the head! I actually had them in mind when i wrote this, an Indian warrior fighting against the imperialistic oppressors. Again, glad you enjoyed it :)
10 Years Ago
That's what I was thinking bout reading and yea definitely enjoyed. Thanks :-)
29 year old amateur fantasy writer and dark poet from Cardiff, South Wales. Currently working on a novel with the intention of eventually making it into an expanding series.
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