Hunted

Soon to be published by Forward Poetry

Running through the winters night
every muscle taut and tight

I feel them bearing down on me

If i am to die, i will die free

Their beasts howl through the pines
their hunters ready their bow lines

I still have courage, i still have pride
I let vengeance be my guide

I turn to fight to and show them all
that i will strike before i fall

I ready my blade and make my stand
many will die by my hands

For today they all shall see
that if i am to die, i will die free

Reviews

[Mason]

This is an excellent sonnet. The short, two-line stanzas create a quick rhythm like running, which is how the poem begins. With each new stanza you draw a new scene in a moving picture, and in only so many words no less.
The overarching message is so powerful, but its not an empty statement. Each stanza builds up towards the end with the fast rhythm, desperation of the prey because of the hunters "bearing down," the pride and the courage felt by the prey, and making the final stand. It all comes together to paint the epic picture of -at least in my mind- a samurai, much like the story of Musashibo Benkei, who died fighting and standing.
I loved this poem very much. Using so few words and lines and yet drawing these beautiful scenes and instilling such strong emotions into the reader was very impressive. One might say I felt inspired. Thank you for submitting.

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you very much Mason, that is an extremely kind review! When i wrote this, what i pictured in my mind was a native American Indian running through his own lands, being hunted by the imperialistic settlers. I am familiar with the story of Msashibo Benkei, again very kind of you to associate my work with that story! I am very glad you enjoyed it

[Mason]

You're welcome. I can definitely see that image as well.Thanks again.

[luvingu01]

thanks alot for entering.
u r poem is very deep. i think if many slaves had this mentally it could have been freedom along time ago but i understand that mentally slavery was also the contribution to the physically work load.

[Andrea Mouser]

for a second i was like oooh a fox hunt. but then im like wait..... foxes cant hold knives XD

[SonOfPlunder]

Lol that made me laugh! Be a bad a*s fox if he could!

[just Penny]

Great opening lines and I enjoyed the storyline. You build suspense really well, leaving the reader wondering what might happen next. The final two lines have strength and resolve, loved it. Penny

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you Penny! Glad you liked it

[Hessy]

NICE POEM,LOVED THIS LINE EXPECIALLY "For today they all shall see
that if i am to die, i will die free"

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you! Glad you liked it

[s y e]

This is pretty dark but good, I liked it. I loved the line...

// If I am to die, then I will die free //

Very powerful!

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you, i enjoyed writing this one. This is probably one of my lighter pieces though lol Thanks for reading!

[s y e]

Ha, well I didn't know that O.o

[SonOfPlunder]

This is true :P Glad you liked it though!

[s y e]

I did very much so, you're very welcome.

[Death Girl]

I really liked this. I liked how you repeated if I am to die then I will die free. As I read this I could imagine how they felt. N

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it

[HeazerH]

Wow! I say wow because it is the closest thing to speechless you will find in me.

[SonOfPlunder]

That is a huge compliment, thank you very much :)

[HeazerH]

Keep writing! I like your style.

[SonOfPlunder]

I don't think i'd be able to stop if i wanted to! :)

[HeazerH]

It is my biggest addiction so I understand.

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Ohhh, nicely penned... wonderful flow and heart pounding imagery. The repetition of the second and last lines really bring it home. I love the hint of the story behind this piece and would enjoy to see the battle play out. well done!

[SonOfPlunder]

I've entered this piece for quite a few recent competitions, i just hope it's gets as good feedback there as it has on here! Thanks a lot!

[Ghost of Jupiter]

I am sure it will do well. it is a great poem. :)

[SonOfPlunder]

I hope so! Thanks again :)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Their beasts howl through the pines
their hunters ready their bow lines
---
They're beasts howl through the pines
They're hunters ready their bow lines
---
I turn to fight to and show them all
that i will strike before i fall
---
I turn to fight and show them all
that i will strike before i fall
---
again just minor details...
you like the rhyme ---
you grip the reader with the fright...
yet the ending gives ---
that the monsters will not prevail...