The Mystic

This one is more recent than The Dark War, but still follows the same dark, grim structure

In ancient times they came to him
bringing him gifts of wine and women

Sacrifices for his dark arts
so men could see what lurked in their hearts

Kings, warlords and peasants all
none could resist the mystics call

His blackened grin and empty eyes
they never failed to terrify

A bestial skull upon his head
his very presence was cloaked in dread

So they flocked to him from across the land
across water, snow and sand

Even though his answers were strange and cryptic
none could deny the power of the mystic 

Reviews

[B.J]

intriguing almost a song. It flows so well love the almost haunting like the effect of a haunted castle and village

[lost girl]

One quick lesson I learned try to stay a way from "and or but" they seem to trip up the meter sometimes. If your gonna us punctuation, use it throughout. I know, I am horrible at it! I really need my own personal editor:) I do see where people are so picky about it though when reading works:) All in all it's a great and luring piece. I have always had a fondness for Kings, Queens, & mystics! Thank you for the share! I will be back for more.

[Megan Simpson]

This flows so beautifully; definitely one of my favorites

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you :) I very much enjoyed writing this one!

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Loved the flow of this and it seemed to create a dark ancient feel to the poem... Always paint a picture with your words... And take us into a different time... Well done !

[SonOfPlunder]

This is the first poem i wrote after coming back to it after years of not writing poetry. Glad you liked this one too!

[Ghost of Jupiter]

Ah, those are always the most meaningful, at least in my experience... Glad you came back to the dark side...of poetry that is...

[Robbie~xoxo~]

I love the fantasy within your eerie write...a haunting prelude to something evil....

It's a bewitching tale, indeed!

Nicely done! :)

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you :) Again, i appreciate your feedback!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Looks like you're rolling with it...great work. :)

[Lowvee Cole]

Love fantasy stuff, and this work intrigued me. This has the makings of a great story. Are you considering turning it into a book? I think it would make for an interesting read. Great work!

[SonOfPlunder]

I'm currently working on a fantasy novel, with the intention of making it into a series. I have posted the first five chapters and i did intend to add a lot of lore, poetry and legends into it. This was my first attempt at doing so. And i'm glad you liked it!

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The goes about the lines...
tells of the fear ---
and you paint the scene ---
once more of his tale...
within the lines of this verse...

[SonOfPlunder]

You've left some great feedback so far. Thank you very much

[Glen Yumang Manese]

You're welcome...

[Lord Chernabog]

"A bestial skull upon his head/his very presence was cloaked in dread
So they flocked to him from across the land/across water, snow and sand
Even though his answers were strange and cryptic/none could deny the power of the mystic "
Definitely fancy this piece. Splendid! The flow was a tad dodgy at times, but other than that, it was wonderful.

[Bluemerlin]

It says in your bio that you write fantasy, and I noticed that this is something you could integrate really easily. Kind of lord of the rings style, where there's a bard, or a chanting orc army, or some shadowy drunk man and they're singing this. This is very epic poetry, in that it tells a story without a lot of subtlety or poetic tricks. Again, it would fit into a story well, though perhaps better if it was in the present tense, i.e. his very presence is cloaked in dread, rather than was cloaked in dread. Make him alive, rather than a dead legend.

[SonOfPlunder]

One of my other pieces of writing is a story i'm currently working on. I have a lot of ideas i'm currently working on for that story and i did actually intend to make my poetry a part of it. This was a rough attempt at doing so. At the start i said 'In ancient times they came to him' i wanted to give the impression that he was a character residing in legends. But i appreciate your comments, especially about a chanting orc army. Orc poetry would indeed be fun to work on. Thank you for taking the time to read it though and i hope you enjoyed it

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...Thank you for sharing...:)...............

[SonOfPlunder]

Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed it :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)...................