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WIP

A Poem by Somebrownnerd
"

Wisdom is forever single, for when it elopes with vanity, it becomes distant.

"

I lost you there, in tinted room,
when glitter hit the grey;
throwing despondent tones, of muted blue,
on what was said today.

When the rain sang its forlorn hymn,
weaving tarnished thoughts.
Our power sought no promised end,
but soon foundations rocked.

Idle hands, and broken works,
reek to hearts that simmer.
Shooting doubts, tossed about,
kiss the tongue with liquor.


I lost you there, in tinted room,
when glitter hit the grey;
It seems so odd - that words and nods,
could lead us both astray.





© 2013 Somebrownnerd


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I really enjoyed this one. The structure was very refreshing. The rhyme was on and off, but that's fine. The rhythm and meter used was decent as well. I liked the repetition, as though you want to emphasize that certain thought. I really liked this one. Good Write.

Posted 11 Years Ago


awesome

Posted 11 Years Ago


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Pax
Wisdom is forever single, for when it elopes with vanity, it becomes distant.
~ those words really caught my attention... that brings out the story poem itself... you understand wisdom very well mr. Zach... the power of wisdom lives forever but if tainted with vanity, it will lost its senses... ending up nothing and without direction...
i love the wisdom you put in the storyline... this is awesome!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on February 5, 2013
Last Updated on February 28, 2013
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Author

Somebrownnerd
Somebrownnerd

Norman, OK



About
It's been five years, since I've put thoughts to words. Alas, the dam has finally broken. Wow have things changed quite a bit, I'm looking forward to being a part of this community again. So much t.. more..

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