Life Lessons

Stream of Consciousness

Today I will reflect on what could be instead of fretting about what may never be

Today I will appreciate the wonderment in the world instead of focusing on the annoyances

Today I will use my powers for good instead of evil 

I will attempt to incorporate these simple deeds into my life in an effort to stop being negative and to enrich people’s lives and in turn my own. I know it won’t be simple but I can’t let that stop me from being the best version of myself. The hardest thing for me seems to be letting go of those pesky expectations….Someone once said “The reason it’s Hell on Earth is because we keep expecting it to be Heaven”….I don’t think people realize how much of their hurt and disappointment come from expectations…Unrealistic or otherwise….It’s also said that if you are being kind to someone and expecting something in return that is business and not kindness….You have to give kindness in its truest form and not with any requisite of getting anything in return.  It’s funny what happens when you begin realizing your self-worth…some people benefit from it…taking joy in your  transformation…others will lose and in their fear will try in earnest  to derail any progress  you are making by using their manipulation skills…to pull you back down below them….they like you down there…you aren’t a threat to their ego beneath them…select few people would have never gotten where they are today without stepping on the backs of those who helped the most…there are givers and takers in this world…I know which side of that coin I land on…I’m also realizing though that some people will never be happy with you no matter what you do for them…that you can pour everything you have into them and they will still be empty…those people are the ones I need to avoid…the problem is…they are very clever and know exactly what they are doing…I have never understood what people gain from the ruse…whatever the benefit it couldn’t possibly be worth the effort it takes to pull it off…In the end everyone loses…Life is about creating…nourishing…lifting people up…making people want to be better just by being in your presence…That is the impression I want to make on this world…I have absolutely got to learn to say no….I have to remove my heart from my sleeve and with my best poker face protect my cards until I’m either ready to fold or go all-in. Until then I just want to keep it simple…enjoy the unassuming joys of a warm sunny day…the look on my son’s face when he is all excited that he has my full, undivided attention…his conversation and feeling the trust he has that I will always make it alright…Actually taking a moment to savor the foods and drinks I take into my mouth  instead of rushing to get it down…Laying in the grass and making shapes out of the clouds that pass overhead…sitting on the warm sand…listening to the Ocean…Allowing the sheer size of the ocean to put everything in perspective…reminding us that we are but a diminutive part of this world…I want lazy days by the pool with the kids laughing in the background…The exhaustion that comes from a day of exploring and seeing new things…the feeling of a true connection with another soul…the good conversations between both people who know you well and people who know nothing about you…the feel of a new book…the adventure that awaits between its pages…A song that moves you and speaks to your heart…laughing uncontrollably…allowing the energy of a city to captivate me until my blood pulses to the sounds of it…breathtaking views of frozen fields…pristine and untouched…or the sounds of the exotic animals that inhabit a forest…A nap on a rainy day…cuddled with a loved one…feeling safe and warm in their embrace…the wind in my hair as I speed down an unknown road to a unfamiliar destination…Getting lost in the eyes of my lover as I see our future and all the potential it holds…the ease of old friends and the freshness of a new bond…a warm fire on a cold night…the power of it mesmerizing me…a good meal with good people…singing a song and feeling it resonate through my body…it’s a part of me…snuggling with my puppy and knowing what unconditional love feels like…putting myself out there and actually affecting someone…taking care of someone who never asked and who will never forget…giving when I don’t have it to give and being rewarded with a genuine smile…a warm sensual bath soaking away all the days stress …A hot shower where every drop of water feels like your lover’s tongue…falling asleep with someone special and that feeling that this is what home feels like…the fear of showing someone your dark side and the relief when they love you anyway…sleeping in and not even worrying about all the things you could have done…staying in your PJs and binge playing your favorite game as time melts away…the way a great movie can change you…crying happy tears when something amazing and unexpected happens…having a shoulder to cry on when the world beats you down…that morning you wake up and you no longer immediately think about the last person who broke your heart….being OK with being alone…loving yourself more than anyone else ever could…The exquisite torture of not being able to touch your lover…the exhilaration of the first kiss…looking in the mirror and liking what you see…helping someone on their journey just by sharing where you have been…your story…love at first sight…waiting for him to call…being buzzed and feeling like you still have your whole life in front of you…being asked for advice and feeling you really were able to help someone…How much fuller would your life be if you could just let go of all the other bullshit that keeps us miserable and focus on the things that make us want to wake up every morning…We have a choice to make every day….simple pleasures or complex drama….every day is not going to rainbows and unicorns but even on the dark days…how we react is what determines the overall outcome…so take a breath…look for happiness not ugliness and just try every day to be the best version of yourself.

Reviews

[The Iron Horseman]

This is excellent! I would not have elected to call it a poem, though; I would have called it a story. A minor point that does not detract from it's value. It is insightful, thoughtful, a useful guide to the uncertain, and well written. I enjoyed it very much.

[AntCity]

Though I agree in most points with the Iron Horsemen, I find the stream of consciousness structure recurring in multiple pieces to be quite poetic in itself. Well done!

[SomeRandomChic]

Thank you for taking the time! I appreciate your view!