Blackened Skies

I wake up one more time underneath the dying sun
And though this world is big, I still have nowhere to run
It doesn't matter where I go, I am always with me
Always at war with myself, split personality

Part of me wants to move forward, part wants to remain
Part of me wants to be numb, part wants to feel the pain
If I can feel the pain, then at least I can feel something
But if pain is all I can feel, I would rather feel nothing

Part of me holds on to hope, it doesn't matter how small
Part of me has given up, let go of one and all
Hope can be uplifting, it can help me through the pain
But when that hope is unfulfilled, it can drive me insane

False hope turns into depression every single time
And then it's hard for me to stay on this side of the line
The line between self-harming thoughts and putting them to action
The line is blurred already from constant dissatisfaction

Dissatisfied in all the ways that life has treated me
Is it wrong, too much to ask, for me to be happy?
Happiness is something I am always searching for
But fate has different plans, and pain is all it has in store

Even through the pain, there is still a part of me
Which keeps on hoping that one day, I'll finally be free
That hope gives me the strength each day to open up my eyes
And hope to see bright blue above when I live under blackened skies