Road To Recovery

I take you in my arms and I look into your eyes,
     indifference is all I see
Where once was passion, there now is nothing,
    you have no more feelings for me
Is there a way for us to get back what we had
Or have we spent too long making each other sad
Is it over, have we come to an end
I think I hear the funeral dirge carried on the wind

The screams that I hear every night,
    I've been hearing since the dawn of time
The tortured screams are painful to my ears,
    are they yours or are they mine
What do I have to do to silence the screams
What do I have to do to wake from this nightmarish dream
Please let me wake and see none of this is real
Because the pain is just too much for me to feel

The path I walk is a lonely one,
    I wonder if anyone will ever know
All the pain I hold inside,
    the pain of which I just can't seem to let go
If I don't find release, then I will never last

I'll just be a memory in someone's forgotten past
And I don't want to be just another drowning man
But that's all I am right now and that's all I've ever been

I take the time to clear my mind
It only takes a second or two
All that's left in my head
Are the memories of me and you

I cannot go one day, one hour, one minute, one second
    without you
Without you by my side, I see my future fading fast,
    I'm turning blue
My future fades, I feel the darkness closing in all around me
I can't escape, I cannot go back to the way that it used to be
I'm trapped in the world you made, then ripped away from me
I'm trapped in this no man's land of your false reality

I've been living deep beneath your shadow
    for far too long
Now I must find the strength to rise up and stand tall
    now that you're gone
But you crushed my heart and twisted my spine
And you shattered my confidence with every lie
You made sure that I lived only for you
Now that you're gone, I just don't know what to do

I must find the pieces of who I used to be
     and put them back together
If I fail, I'll live a life of misery,
    trapped in the past forever
I'll be trapped in the past and living a lie
And I don't want to do that, I would rather die
So I must find the courage to stand on my own
And I must find the strength of will to stand alone

I will stand alone, here on my own,
    with no one standing by me
I'll stand with head held high, eyes to the sky,
    despite my insecurities
I know deep down inside that I can last
If I can leave this heartache in the past
Slip from the chains that have weighed down my soul
Break free from the tears and pain and finally let go

My road to recovery begins right here,
    with a single step
I hope that I can avoid the obstacles in the road,
    I hope that I don't trip
The obstacles are there to make me trip and fall
But I must keep my footing and stand up tall
I'll close the door on that part of my life
I'll take one last look back and say goodbye

Looking forward, never backward,
    that's how I must choose to live
Keep on trying instead of dying
    because I've got so much more to give
All the pain I've carried for so long
Has built up my strength, it has made me strong
It's given me the strength to put my heart on the line
The strength to risk it all for love one more time

Some day, some way,
    I know that I will find the one that waits
I won't be swayed by the pains of yesterday
    or by all of society's hate
I'll find someone who thinks I deserve a chance
Someone who will keep the door open for romance
She'll take my hand and hold me close to her heart
She'll want to get closer instead of drifting apart

My road to recovery begins right here
My road to recovery begins right here
My road to recovery begins right here

All I have to do is let go of this fear