Struggling

It's time to put the blinders on, block the outside thoughts
Erase the painful memories of what this life has bought
It's time to look inside myself and start the healing from within
I can't help somebody else when inside I'm still struggling

I grapple with emotions that have been repressed for years
It's time to open up the floodgates and let loose the tears
I can't hold them anymore without falling apart
I need to release the pressure that constricts my heart

I struggle to comprehend that this just might be the end
I struggle to understand why life has dealt me this hand
I struggle to face my fears building for so many years
I struggle to fit into this skin, I'm always struggling within

I need to learn to let go and to leave the past behind
I cannot keep it with me, always in the back of my mind
Because it has a way of pushing forward all the pain
Which will only hold me back, and there's so much for me to gain

I don't want to die when I have never truly lived
And I don't want to leave when I still have so much to give
I'll leave the past behind and I'll get over what's been done
So I can concentrate on the future and on what I'm to become

I need to find a way to free the demons held inside
I need to find a way to face the fears from which I hide
I need to find the courage that's been missing all these years
I need to find the strength to help me fight through all the tears

I need to find my voice so I can make myself be heard
I need to find my wings so I can be free as a bird
I need to find the meaning in the cards I have been dealt
I need to find the peace that will save me from myself

I struggle to comprehend that this just might be the end
I struggle to understand why life has dealt me this hand
I struggle to face my fears building for so many years
I struggle to fit into this skin, I'm always struggling within

I need to find a way to stop the struggling within
Until I do, there's constant pain, and my future looks grim
I need to find the key that will unlock the chains that bind
So I can finally cast them off and leave the painful past behind

I need to stop focusing on the things that have gone wrong
And focus on the future, which is where my thoughts belong
Only then do I have a chance to break free from the fears
And finally put an end to all the struggling and tears