Obsessed

Never a good thing, to be too obsessed...

His heart tainted black,

By the edge of my quill.

My words flow within his blood,

His heart beats relentlessly.

 

Pumping my disparaging thoughts,

His whole body is stained with my hate.

His mind can think of nothing less,

On how I left him that day.

 

Tears seem to be on vacation,

For he cannot summon them.

Contaminated with my criticisms,

He completely forgot about himself.

 

Losing his mind slowly,

My mind became his.

Soon he no longer thought for himself,

But of me.

Reviews

[Demure Penumbra]

I absolutely loved this. The fluidity of the words contrast with the chaos of the subject matter. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, but I think that's the sign of a great literary piece. It makes you feel multiple things with the same magnitude. You can't really place one feeling above another because they are all equally as relevant.

[Soma-ko]

Thank you for the compliments, and I'm glad you enjoyed the mixed feelings entangled within my poem.

[SyberRose]

Wow...I miss this one somehow...yes being consumed with another person...you lose your own
identity...nicely done Soma...I think you will probably write a book some day...you are very good at
getting the point across...Rose:)

[Soma-ko]

Why thank you, and I actually hope to publish at least one book in the future, though whether it is successful or not is the last thing on my mind, the first thing would be on what the book is about...

[Ravyne Hawke]

It is amazing how we humans can become so consumed by another that we lose ourselves completely and become what we once despised. You did an excellent job of describing obsession, the loss of self, the obsessed becoming the other's entire being. A most excellent dark poem.

[Soma-ko]

That much is true. How the mind of man can hold so much potential, that it goes the other way as well. Thank you for the review, and the compliment. :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

Yes, I didn't consider the mind itself, but now that you mention it, indeed you are correct. I think there is nothing beautiful at all with obsession.. it is all tainted and dark. You are most welcomed for the compliment =)

[NA]

Profound read...each stanza as powerful as the next...enjoyed :)

[Soma-ko]

Thank you, and glad you liked it.