Comatose

A short story I started. Not completely diverse. A representation of my life through fiction.

The light burns, even through these panels. The sun so rich and powerful yet plane and lonely.

The rides never get shorter, that was the first lie they dropped. The rest came as guarantees, the silence is soothing, the work is exciting.

The truth behind my destiny is that I'm holding a position that will soon be filled. No real purpose in the title, just a cog peice. I'm a robot

This wasn't how things used to be. I remember the beautiful lie my childhood was based on.

"we're all unique and have a special role to play"

Words of my optimistic mother. Unrelentingly sweet.
She never believe what I said about myself. She held my hope when my hands were full with life's burdens.

But out here, in the Grey toned fields of metal. Under the black spotted sky, my hope is vacant. Unnecessary. There's no reason to be cheerful, and no opportunity grim. Neutrality is becoming my end

So many thoughts that control my expressions, fit into fourteen and a half minutes. But the doors are open no, and my night is waiting.

The walk is no different, just windows and bars. No color to highlight just plane walls. But that's the style nowadays. All stripped of emotion, just miles upon miles with no visible promotion of creativity or character. This is what works and whats found to be easy. The concensus out here: There's no need for things pleasing.

Our objective is clear, do the job, go back home live the rest of our lives. And that's a generous term, seeing as the average amount of years spent before meeting the requirements for relocation is about 30 years.

"but the facility's will have enough accommodations to last decades"

My advisor assured me before shipping me out without a care. People like her, winning the lottery and inheriting a home while the rest of us rotate from building to building with no real stability.

And her accommodation, a connection to a grid filled with more soulless bodies born to die.
She thinks that will be enough to fend off insanity?
No, I'm much better with my own reality.

Speaking of, here I'm am. Number 44102. Another example of how we're thought of. That's my name, My room number, and my contact information. 4.4.1.0.2.

Inside it's home. Whether I like it or not.
So I unpack, sit and close my eyes. I'm home

I can hear the shower running, she left the door open. That explains the moist taste in the air. But I'll leave her be. She probably had it worse than me, home alone all weekend.

Though I wouldn't consider it suffering, she always has something going on. Like the pictures on the ceiling, both a statement of boredom and rebellion.

That's the reason I keep her. Well, the reason she keeps me. She's a fighter, wouldn't let me slip, I tried telling her to stay with her family, it would be brighter there. /Better/ there. But she didn't stop packing. I'd never seen a creature as beautiful as she is when she gives me that expression.
That "you don't have a choice" expression. I don't think of it as unhealthy. She always knew when I was being stupid, when I was in a funk. If I had actually come here without her, I wouldn't have lasted 4 days. She's made the past 4 years liveable.

"You look busy in there" She said in her usual soft voice. Guess I didn't hear the shower shut off

"No more than I usually am" I replied.

"Works done, you're home" she said while leaning over the couch to wrap her arms around my neck then continued "So act like it. Don't waste my time with your brooding, I've waited all weekend to annoy someone"

I could tell by her voice she had something specific in mind. Pretty rare for a girl like her

"So why do you think they make the oranges here grow like grapes" she asked as if qued while rolling over the couch onto my lap. She wants to snap me out of it. I can't say it didn't work. I can't help but grin when she asks me these questions. Its the sincerity and urgent nature of her concerns. She finds little things so interesting

"It's more uniform, easier to manage." I answered.

"But it makes them taste all dirty and dry when they do it that way" she retorted.

"They taste fine, they're exactly like the ones at home" I said egging her on. She doesn't like this whole artificial act going on. She's always preferred tradition.

"They taste like gar-bauge, I'd rather eat a lime with lacerated gums than accept their fakeness." she replied.

"I think you just want an excuse to get me to sign the petition" I exclaimed playfully. I had been putting it off, trips to the office are often more boring than my commute to the industrial district.

"I think you're too used to virtual tress to appreciate what having an actual garden could do for this place. C'mon, you're always saying how boring it is. Just take tomorrow off and ride down to the office."

"Okay, fine. But only if you come with me." I said.

"Mmmk" she replied sarcastically.

We pause for a moment.

"I wish you could go with me. I feel bad for you, I wish you weren't locked up in here" I said.

"I'm fine, I get it easy. You're the one that has to go work alone with a bunch of dumb bots." she replied. While standing up

"Go take a shower. Don't be long this time." she continued.

I comply and go into the bathroom and get ready. Hoter than hot as I usually have it. I like feeling the cold air on my back and hot steam on my legs as I sit there drifting.

I can't help but lose time while I'm in here. It's like listening to a master pianist play the sonata with a smooth flowing motion. Peace. I feel peace.

There is no angst, no fear or anger. I call the room I live in home, but this is where my heart is. This and others like it. My music, the one thing they let me take. My drawing pad. It keeps me constructive. And the backbone of the walls into this place, Lilly. My girl. Keeps the hope alive here. There's a small, small list of things that I find emotional value in. Not all of them make sense. But they bring me to this place I call home. This place I can truly live in. My feelings aren't extreme, but there's something, I can't name it. But... That's okay.

*knock knock knock*

Lilly barges in. "you didn't fall asleep did you?" she asked

"almost" I replied.

"well come on, it's time for bed, I have a movie I wanted to see." she urged.

Her 'movies' are often classics. Not even actually. They're more historical than productions. She doesn't get much from the simulations. Flying around like a super hero seems to fake for her I guess. But she never picks the bad ones. She always has something interesting, so I'll go and see.

So went to lie down. Lilly was there to greet me. She got straight to the point pushes herself into my arms and says "goodnight." and that was it. So I close my eyes and am greeted by a movie titled 'The Brothers Bloom'. And just as expected, it bothered me. She ways picks the ones that poke at me. The ones that spark something.

After it ended I transferred into my dreams. All silhouettes. Nothing substantial. The same "don't let me go" right before waking. And as usual I shake it off.

But being awake wasn't much better. My pillows are too hot, and the light too bright. So I take the body pillow and pull it over my eyes and let go back into sleep.

Or at least I tried, Lilly pushed me over and tried to get me up. I resisted out of habit.

"I'm not letting you whimp out on your promise" she said "you need to get up and go to the office."

"The office isn't going anywhere, Lill" I replied.

"Stop being stupid Gryphon. Get up. If you don't do it now you won't do it at all" she complained.

"Lilly, it's not going to make a difference, my one signature won't build a guarden." I said.

Lilly sat up. I could feel her staring at me

"your signature and the others that feel the same way you do" she rebuttaled.

"No one else cares about the flavor of the oranges, Lilly." I replied.

That's going to piss her off. But she really can't expect my one opinion to change the mind of a bunch of soulless automatons. Still, I can't just push, she cares about it. I shouldn't be so cynical with her

So I sit up and face her. Her face is down. Not by much, but enough to notice. "Lil-" I was starting when she interrupted: "do you really believe that you're the only person that feels the way you do?"

I paused for a second to read her face. She's more sad than she is angry.

"I hope I am." I answered.

She got out of bed and grabbed my pad. She switched through a list for a second then handed it to me.

"call this one" she demanded pointing at the number '32237'

I hesitated before grabbing the pad.
"way?" I asked.

"because you're wrong" she answered then walked out

I stared at the number for a while. It looks familiar, I think.

I pressed the number and it prompted for me to wait. 10 seconds passed before someone answered: "hello?" greeted a girl with a familiar voice.

"Hi" I replied. "I was told to call you about the petition the office is running"

"oh, I already signed the petition, thank you" she said.

"oh no, I wasn-" *buzz* and the call was over.
Pretty straight forward she was.

"told you!" Lilly yelled from the kitchen.

I walked out and saw her eating an orange with an 'I told you so' stare.

"who was that" I asked

She took a bite out of the orange and said with a mouthful "why don't you go find out" Then tossed me my card. "you know where she is" she continued.

Under the impression I had on no choice, so I got ready today go.

"deja vu" Lilly said while I was half way out the door

I turned and asked: "What happened"

"Nothing yet" she replied. And waved me out the door.

32237. That's a ways out a longer ride than the office. But I'd have better luck out here than stuck in the house with a stubborn girl. So I get on the rail and lie my head on the window. Only way this ride will be liveable is through unconsciousness.

Author's Note

I know my punctuation isn't the best. I'm rusty, Ive spent my high school/college years on work. But I'm trying to back get on track.