Chapter 1 The beginning

one of the many chapters that will be written.

The beginning of a story is always started with the introduction of a great character of a protagonist at that but the story I am going to tell is mostly out of my own experiences neither a protagonist, antagonist or just a character. Well this story just begins with a person a regular yet not so regular person who has had some trouble with dreams, hopes and wishes. 

As it all started it was one faithful day when I woke up, showered , had breakfast, and went to school. I found something and feeling something I have never felt like before something that felt like it could transcend space and time the one thing I have never in a million years would ever thought would happen a feeling so easy to know yet so hard to come by the feelings that will make me the happiest yet the most miserable person that I could ever be you know it as "love" the feeling I felt the day I saw her. But as I spent the days learning about the smartest and most beautiful person I have ever met I found a sad truth she was taken by one who I would never come to know in person one who takes her by the hand and holds her close to him . The one person I would never know yet would learn to hate as much as dogs hate cats. 

Life started to go well after those days the few things I felt correct and right about was the feelings I had for her. She was the only thing that mattered as I thought this she was really the reason to succeed and to be the best for her sake , to be of some sort of use to her to make her have the best of the best . Yet I felt like there was no real connection between me and her it felt so empty I needed to talk to her but as it turns out I have always been to shy to she has been one of the only people I would ever ask out, Oh yes "my first" she would be the first person I would ask out. I still have not had the guts to ask her out in a date or anything like that. 

Yet why am I so angry for someone taking her out why? My dreams and hopes are so black and white yet why? The question will never be answer unless i do something but , what happens if I do. Will everything change or will it still be the same. What can I do so I can be someone in her live to be the one to be the only one. 

I breath out in my own thoughts and think why am I doing this?what can I get out of this I can't really do anything to help her. I feel so useless and so ugly. Does the outside really matter does she just think of me a as a friend or something more all these questions are yet to be asked and answered.

Is it my own will? or is it someone controlling what I'm doing? I can't tell and I have always been afraid of it of what I don't know I am a good and knowledgeable person but there are things that even the smartest scientist may never know predictions are all just based on information of the present and the past the actions that I take will always change the future but I will never know in what way in what manner will it change it.

Change is something that just happens on its own but change is the only thing that I have seen happen. I have moved from place to place like a nomad never asking for anything from my parents. Back when I was younger I remember changing for my own reasons because I've been picked on and been labeled as dumb, fat and other things. As a kid I never knew why people changed so much I've really always really been the same personality wise. But as others have changed so have the places I have lived in I have moved almost every 2-3 years. And it really changed the way things are I don't really have any childhood friends to remember but even then change isn't really new to me as it really is the only thing I can be alright with.

As I have always changed places were I live so have the people I met until I moved to the place were I have been living in. The place where I met many people who I will hope to see again in the future. 

But there are a lot of things that I am certain about . Life is always gonna be rough even if she doesn't love me back I would be glad if she talked and said hi to me. 

As time passed by I realized that something had happened to my feelings they had just grown stronger and to the point that I couldn't really control them but as luck would have I felt as if I could do something now. How? Well it appears as if she didn't like him , which I am glad about. But as I had at least some guts to ask I asked her "What happened with him?" she then told me " he hugs her other female friends when they came but never did anything with me". I had found out it was like cheating. Then I told myself "If I ever see this guy with her again I will make him regret he ever knew me". 

The seasons passed and I had gotten to know her a little bit better and it seemed like I could ask her anything and she would say yes test that I had tried my best and done my best. But in the end of the year I really never saw her...

I've really missed her all of that time and I really hoped to see her again oh I would oh so much. Yet this wasn't the end the story is just beginning although it may not be the best story it's my life. The life of Me.

Author's Note

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