To Myself.

From your secret admirer.

I've never been so unimpressed

I've never been so uninspired

I've never felt so blind in my life
like the once brilliant lights
have gone out in my mind
cause see I was never nutured
just left to my own device
not even a little bit supervised
so pretty much
since my birth
it's been me
myself & I
& I came up on
empty promises
dredging through the dirt
& bold faced lies
but hey.
whatever works
& there I learned
keep my head
held high
& stand tall
always keep
your back turned
when your tears
start to fall
never lose hope
never lose vision
but know
there is no shame
no shame at all
in losing
sight or composition
life is not a competition
that kind of
twisted psyche
sends em spinnin
to the rhythm of
marketplace heartbreak
losing face
faith & ended up
full-fledged fake
for the rest of their days
I am not okay with this
but I renounce the battle
I can carry on graciously
I refuse to be rattled
by the billion dreams
before me
scattered
on the ground shattered
like never once
did they matter
to anyone
who mattered
so f**k em.