A Stoic Abandonment

A Stoic Abandonment

A Poem by Sola

The skies tremble, and the earth beneath my feet faces its own apprehension about the coming dawn. 


You left us not so long ago, left the rag of us hung up somewhere out to dry in the rain. 


You took you and left me and us, and I still come to look at us sometimes, 


The rag of us always hung up to dry in the rain. 


It is riddled with craters and places to worn out to bear our thoughts


Sometimes I pull out yesterday, drag her out from behind my dresser, and dust her off,


She talks so quietly it’s hard to hear, she is sad for us, 


Us hung out to dry in the rain. 

© 2012 Sola


Author's Note

Sola
I'd be honored to receive any feedback you might offer.

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I like this poem...

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sola

12 Years Ago

Thanks, I appreciate your reading it.
Sami Khalil

12 Years Ago

You are welcome. :)
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~ excellent work... very heartfelt poetry... and, i especially loved the personification of "yesterday"... it's as if the narrator extended compassion to "yesterday" and that really made this piece unique...

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sola

12 Years Ago

Thank you, I sincerely appreciate the kind review.
.

12 Years Ago

~ you're very welcome...
Intriguing! I enjoyed this very much. I feel as though I've been hung out to dry.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sola

12 Years Ago

I'm glad you enjoyed it, my sincere gratitude for your review.
This is most lovely, I like the repetition of 'hung out to dry in the rain', I just love the phrase itself.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sola

12 Years Ago

thank you, I truly appreciate the review. I would have to say that is probably my favorite concept .. read more
This reads like a journal entry, softly spoken in the mind as the writer contemplates the day. This is stunning writing, I look forward to reading more of you.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sola

12 Years Ago

Thank you, I'm honored that you're interested in my work, my sincerest gratitude.
I can see how stoicism comes into play here.

"Nostalgia" is almost opposite to stoicism, as it is a lingering for things that should not matter, but for most humans, it does. I can also see that we each have a little stoic whispering "get over it", which contrast well against the the memory/sadness/nostalgia anthropomorphized as feminine.

The imagery intrigued me. I like the symbol/metaphor of the relationship as a rag hung in the rain. It perfectly captures the pathos of the loss.

The very first line was a bit confusing to me, specifically this part, "my feet faces its own apprehension about the coming dawn" - maybe I stumbled a bit because of the "feet faces" part, but it seems like it can be more concise like the rest of the piece.

Nice work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sola

12 Years Ago

Thank you, The first line is referring to "the earth beneath my feet" and I'll reconsider the applic.. read more
lingering thoughts on a loss expressed very well

Posted 12 Years Ago


Sola

12 Years Ago

Thank you, I really appreciate the review, have a splendid evening.

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346 Views
7 Reviews
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Added on December 7, 2012
Last Updated on December 7, 2012
Tags: Us, rags, poem, poetry, people, hope, apprehension, love

Author

Sola
Sola

Grand Rapids , MI



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I feel as though.... I need to write this well, as though it ought to be some excellent representation of how I define myself. But there is also the haunting inclination that perhaps the best person t.. more..

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A Poem by Sola