~ excellent work... very heartfelt poetry... and, i especially loved the personification of "yesterday"... it's as if the narrator extended compassion to "yesterday" and that really made this piece unique...
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you, I sincerely appreciate the kind review.
This is most lovely, I like the repetition of 'hung out to dry in the rain', I just love the phrase itself.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
thank you, I truly appreciate the review. I would have to say that is probably my favorite concept .. read morethank you, I truly appreciate the review. I would have to say that is probably my favorite concept in this piece as well.
This reads like a journal entry, softly spoken in the mind as the writer contemplates the day. This is stunning writing, I look forward to reading more of you.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you, I'm honored that you're interested in my work, my sincerest gratitude.
"Nostalgia" is almost opposite to stoicism, as it is a lingering for things that should not matter, but for most humans, it does. I can also see that we each have a little stoic whispering "get over it", which contrast well against the the memory/sadness/nostalgia anthropomorphized as feminine.
The imagery intrigued me. I like the symbol/metaphor of the relationship as a rag hung in the rain. It perfectly captures the pathos of the loss.
The very first line was a bit confusing to me, specifically this part, "my feet faces its own apprehension about the coming dawn" - maybe I stumbled a bit because of the "feet faces" part, but it seems like it can be more concise like the rest of the piece.
Nice work.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you, The first line is referring to "the earth beneath my feet" and I'll reconsider the applic.. read moreThank you, The first line is referring to "the earth beneath my feet" and I'll reconsider the applicability of the title, I sincerely appreciate the thorough and careful review, truly it means a lot.
I feel as though.... I need to write this well, as though it ought to be some excellent representation of how I define myself. But there is also the haunting inclination that perhaps the best person t.. more..