Nikita Cayenne

Nikita Cayenne, 14
They told me my mother died when I was three years old, but I think she's been by my side always. She sent me Yelena, my guardian. Yelena is also General of my father's army but I don't think she likes him. Her eyes get cloudy and darken every time she looks at him. I think it's because he doesn't talks with me so often, but I'm not sure. Today is an important day! It's my birthday and Father wants to see me. Yelena seems to disapprove of my Father's request and is more annoying than ever. She insisted to comb my hair and she brought Daniel up, again. No matter what I told her, she wasn't happy about it. I fear she'll go and tell my father, she can be a real pain in the a*s sometimes. When I tried to joke, she smiled and grimaced at the same time. I love it when she calls me her little Grunt, I hope my father will let me be a soldier some day. I have trained with Yelena since forever it seems and I can be a good Knife if only he lets me. It's a long and hard way to my father's office, we have just moved here and the only habitable rooms lie far away from each other. I saw a lot of hard-working soldiers who stopped and saluted Yelena when we passed them. She nodded stiffly at some of them but ignored the rest. One of the guards must have been a fairly new Handle, he didn't realize who Yelena was until Daniel, who also guarded my father, told him. Daniel winked at me and I blushed. Damn! I saw Yelena glance amused at me as Daniels smile broaden. I blushed even more and entered the Waterlords office as fast as I could. Yelena followed me and the Waterlord looked up from the papers he was examining. They spoke about what Yelena was teaching me while I curiously inspected the room. A book on a pedestal caught my eye but before I got a chance to pick it up, my father called me to his side. We got into a fight, as always. Yelena had told him about Daniel and about my desire to be a soldier some day. He will send Daniel away and forbade me from training with weapons. He blamed Yelena for putting such thoughts in my head and threatened to degrade her. I saw the hatred in Yelena's eyes as she bowed silently to obey my father. Before I could say or do anything, she dragged me out of the office. The last I saw was the back of my father as he turned to his desk. Later that evening, when we finally reached my room, I convinced Yelena to teach me how to fight. She was unwilling at first but it didn't take long before her pride as a soldier made her say yes.

Nikita Cayenne, 17
It was a long time since I wrote in my journal. I just found it again, forgotten for three whole years. After Yelena promised me to teach me all she knew about combat, I had little time for myself. I am 17 this day, and as always I will visit my father. This year, however, I have a purpose with this visit. There is nothing more Yelena can teach me and I need to start training with real weapons if I will ever be able to be a soldier. I have no love for my remote father, especially since he transferred Daniel to an outpost on the other side of the city. He is still my father but it is so hard to forgive him. There aren't much left to do in the building we live in. Father's alliance with the Knives has improved during the years and now he rules most of the city. The Looters are still a pain in his a*s but their numbers are weakening. Most of the food and water is controlled by the Waterlord and the cargos are heavily guarded. Yelena still teaches me stuff like that as if I will be the next Waterlord or, perhaps, Waterlady. My father had fewer arguments for not letting me train with weapons and after I got over my first shyness, I was able to convince him! Maybe he has realized that I am not his little girl anymore. I saw an expression which looked something like pride run over his face. Yelena looked thoughtful when I told her the good news, as if she knew something I didn't. It must have been something I imagined, for I know she is as happy as I am. My practice begins tomorrow at dawn.

Nikita Cayenne, 19
I have finally reached one of my goals! Tomorrow I will be the next Knife and I am turning nineteen. As always, my father has requested a visit with me on my birthday. Something strange happened today, after I visited my father and received my new rank. Yelena and I was as always training without weapons when a young Handle approached us and told Yelena the Waterlord had requested to see her. He seemed familiar, there was something about him that reminded me about Daniel. I challenged him and we fought. He wasn't an easy opponent, it took me some time before I got the advantage and managed to lock him to the ground. His sullen face was an angry red shade when I let him get to his feet. It looked as if he was ready to throw himself over me, but before he even moved, Yelena threw herself at him. He struggled in her grip but relax when she tightened it a bit. Yelena scolded me for being careless and then she scolded the soldier too. She stopped after awhile and then suggested that we should train together! We both started to complain but Yelena ignored our protests and ordered us to start again. It was an awkward fight and the soldier used that that against me. I can't believe Yelena will make me practice with that soldier! He even joined us for dinner! I got an explanation from Yelena about the solider. Apparently she has been assigned an important task that no soldier would do. This truly sucks. Maybe I should sneak out and follow Yelena, catch a glimpse of the real world perhaps. That did not work. Yelena returned yesterday and looked very weary. She collapsed on her bed and slept for a half-day and a night. When she awoke, she refused to talk about her mission, just looked tired and sad. It has been a couple of weeks. I begin to like the soldier. His name is Jain and he is fairly new to the Knifes. Someone found him when he was wandering about in the city and took him to the Stadium. He won't tell me much about his time there, it must have been horrible. Sometimes when we practice together in the sun, he takes off his shirt and reveals some interesting scars. I wonder how it feels like to be as badly hurt as he must have been. Jain was sent away today. I think my father was told about our relationship and ended it before anything happened. I hate him! Both Daniel and Jain, gone before I got a chance...

Nikita Cayenne, 20
This year my father claimed that he was too busy to have me visit him. That's fine by me; there is nothing I need to say to him. The love and respect I may have felt for him is long gone. It is something wrong about a soldier that has never seen the world. Yelena is trying to get my father to release my shackles a bit but I fear she won't succeed. I long to see the world and fight the pesky Looters, maybe even see a fight in the Stadium! But I will probably never do that. It can't be true! Yelena managed to get me out of here! My father was very reluctant but her nagging gave result at last. He even gave us an assignment. There has been a rumor amongst the soldiers about two Looters who tries to destroy the Water Nodes. That must be a lie, everyone's life depends on the water those nodes manages to distribute. My father told us his kind of truth, the two Looters are trying to capture the nodes and direct the water elsewhere. I don't believe him wholly, there must be another reason for them to do that, but I can't figure out what. Well, it will be nice to see something new at last.