An imperishable and unbreakable bond we share,
All the troubles together we bear
When one's hurt the others care,
So strong our bond is that none can tear,
A really short poem..i wrote it while completing my school project on friendship.. Please feel free to criticize...I would love to improve on my writing skills..
My Review
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Loving, innocent and beautiful little poem. How it touched my heart! Eloquent words with good flow and rhyme. You are very talented poet Sofia. Keep writing!
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
I'm really grateful to you ma'am for your wonderful review which encouraged me a lot...thank you :)
A wonderful little poetic clip, and a noble sentiment of friendly affection. I enjoyed it.
If you'd like constructive criticism (and I'm by no means any kind of expert), I'd suggest slightly greater care to meter: even with an open style, I find that rhyming syllables helps keep to a beat, which can support pacing, especially important for spoken poetry. However, being such a short poem, that's not as important here. Alliteration and interior rhyme can also enhance memorability, but to me they're purely gravy. :)
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you very much for your kind visit and review. I'm glad you enjoyed. At first, even I thought o.. read moreThank you very much for your kind visit and review. I'm glad you enjoyed. At first, even I thought of not making it rhyme since its too short, but since I'm not that good in poetry I thought it would sound boring. Anyways, thanks for suggesting :)
This is a nice poem that moves the heart with its brevity. Two notes, if I may: Lines 1 and 4 essentially repeat the same idea (which in a poem so brief is not so advisable), and in Line 1 you're missing an article (an "an" at the beginning) or a plural ("bondS") for that line to make sense. Otherwise this is well written with a strong message and good musicality. Well done!
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you for ur kind visit and review. I will surely try my best to avoid these mistakes in future .. read moreThank you for ur kind visit and review. I will surely try my best to avoid these mistakes in future :)
A great poem on friendship, Sofia.....though few in lines, yet enough to explain the meaning of friendship...how lovely your poem is...keep it up, dear.
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you very much!!😊 Nd thank you for making me really happy😊
Just like many other writers on this site, I have also left this platform long ago and my works here are what I used to be two or rather three years ago. Don't read them, they're not good at all. I am.. more..