The Way the Clouds Fell {Part 1}

The day he proposed to me (not your father, but another man), the clouds fell from the sky more heavily than usual.  They washed us all clean despite our hats and so my husband, my first husband, thought it was the day he would ask if it would be alright if he married me.  

I never told you this because it did not last long.  It felt wrong to tell you that I had ever been in love. 

I suppose that it is too late now to tell you anything that will help you.  Yesterday was your 40th birthday and I gave you nothing.  I am dying, as you know, but that is not an excuse. 

Now that I'm old I don't feel any wiser.  When I said yes to Benjamin, I felt something like the innocence of the young and the wisdom of the old all mixed together like coffee and alcohol.  It was intoxicating and invigorating and I knew that I had no choice but to marry him.  He kissed me in all that rain and my heart felt like it was made of feathers. 

I think that I lost all that wisdom when Benjamin died.  My feather-heart felt too heavy and all I wanted was stability.  I was too innocent to know that stability would ruin me. 

Sometimes, Benjamen and I would lie awake at night and listen to our house breathe.  It would startle me sometimes, lying there, that I was with him.  Then, I thought we would always be together.  I was wrong, of course.  You know that. 

I don't know why I am telling you all of this.  Maybe it is only because I want to write it and maybe it is because I want you to know me, even if it is too late.   

Reviews

[Paul B. Spence]

Short, but poignant.

Very clean with only a couple of minor errors.

Did you mean ' Benjamen' or the more standard spelling ' Benjamin' ? Either is fine, just wondering.

'all that wisdowm'
should be 'wisdom'

Good story, good writing.

[Shellie]

Very short but the point is so loud and clear. Lots of imagery and feeling weaved through it, and its written like a very casual note. Very good!

[YQ]

The story has a lot of potential. The beginning is very solid and I can see where you're trying to take it. I like the plot very much. I hope you continue onward. I can't say a lot right now. I'll have to read more to find out.

[cristaal]

This was so sad, but really good. I agree with a lot of the other comments, especially about it being "short and poignant." I wanted to know more about everything - the speaker, the person they're speaking to, the relationships. For me, that's the sign of a good story.

[Greg Skura]

This is so very heartfelt and tragic! Thank you for sharing.

[lackluster]

I totally want to keep going.. as if I should have known more when I started, and want to know more after you stop.
Which is good in itself, being that is what you mention... about wisdom.

I dig it.

[Miss Jewel]

Very nice and sad. But overall great job!:)

[FireWoman]

You are a natural story teller. The threads that weave words into a tapestry are sometimes difficult to pin point, looks like you are on your way.

[arlery]

It was a good attempt, but I think it could definitely be improved. Maybe a bit more of descriptions or detail.

Other than that, it was a good write.
I'll definitely be waiting to find out what happens next.