you're happy anyways

They say you never know what you have until you lose it
Wrong.
Because I knew
I knew we talked every hour of every day
I knew your heart was too big for her
I knew how our jokes tipped the friendship scale
But we were happy anyways
They say those who love you won't make you cry
Wrong.
Because I cried
I cried when you waited for me all those hours
I cried when you told me your joke of the hour
I cried when your heart got too small for me and big enough for her
Because we were happy anyways.
And every time I wonder what went wrong
I'm struggling with the idea of moving on
Because grief isn't a temporary visitor
Grief strikes and waits
Grief is more loyal than your elderly dog
You can only live in my memories for so long
Yet you're happy anyways.

Reviews

[Robert Gluzman]

I think what makes this poem work is your honesty. That is what makes the quality of this poem so good, you do not force the rhymes.

I enjoy the effect of the repetition, "Because we were happy anyways" and how you changed in the end to "you´re".

However, the metaphor for grief isn't expressed well in my opinion----- "Grief is more loyal than your elderly dog "------- I feel that you want to explain that Grief ´sticks´, ´stays´, ´Íts chronic´, but comparing to´loyalty´is to positive, doesn't fit. An example of how I would do it: "Grief attaches hard as a starving leech".

Other than that good poem/muumtaaz :p, and I personally really liked this as I can relate to something similar. By the way if you want more comments dont forget to reivew other people´s writings as well, and dont be shy to ask others. Good Luck!

[Nurhanne Hassan]

Thank you so much for your feedback and for your time to review this, I really am happy you liked it and yes the main element here was honesty,
You're probably right about the grief thing, I just scribbled this poem in 5 minutes so I didn't exactly focus on the metaphors
I will, it's just that I just got here yesterday so I haven't had much time to view the work of others :)