Cease to Exist

 

I want to shut myself in a box.

Where nobody knows me

Nobody needs me

Nobody wants me

Nobody expects me

For anything

And cease to exist.

 

And in this box

My memory

The wreckage I’ve caused

The footprints I’ve littered

The words I’ve written

Spoken

Screamed

And slandered

All that

Would cease to exist too.

The laughs we’ve had

The jokes we’ve made

The love we’ve shared

The chaos we’ve caused

All of it gone

Cease to exist.

 

But that’s not how life works

And I pray

And I try

And I reach out

Let myself cry

Because that’s what I’ve been taught

And it’s what I’m trying to do

Because there’s no way

No how

I can cease to exist for you.

No way

No one’s going to know me

Need me

Want me

Expect me

For anything

Anyhow

I can’t cease to exist

Not me

Nor my memory

But sometimes…

 

I slide back to that place

That damned awful place

Where the razors sing sweet melodies

And the demons tune haunting reveries

I don’t want to drink

But I still want to die

And sometimes I look up at the sky

Ask my God why

But any sort of answer

Is lost in the cancer

Of my own screaming ego

And that stupid whispering box

Where everything

I ever was

Might someday

Somehow

Cease to exist.

Reviews

[Angel of the devil]

this is a powerful, and very sad poem. i like it

[SoberBunny]

thank you :)

[Angel of the devil]

no problem! :)