The Alley

AA homework turned to poetry. :)

The Ally

 

If the road is recovery

Paved by the Big Book

Travelled by many

Working together

For happiness

Joyousness

And freedom…

 

Then my alley is no shortcut

It’s not sidestep towards “happy”

Not a hop in the direction of “joy”

And nor is it a shimmy towards “freedom”

For I never thought I wanted

Any of those things.

 

My pursuit was pain

My God was misery

And my religion was the art

Of self-destruction

 

If I am to dally

And hang back from the crowd

If I am to wander

And pretend to be proud,

It will be because I think I’m doing it wrong.

I’ll retreat back to hell,

I recall the spiral well.

 

I’ll remember the comfort of sorrow

The caress of isolation

And the kiss of death.

 

I’ll begin believing the voices in my head

My own sick desire for agony

And being dead.

It’ll start with cutting

I’ll forget to keep praying

I might skip a meal or three

Flush a feast down the toilet

Pop a pill with a beer

Maybe shed a tear

And if left unattended

Then I’m likely to decide

That AA is akin to any other sober high:

A mere vacation

A simple recess

From the tyranny

Of insanity.

 

Relapse will be that quick!

Boom.

A snap

A flash

In the blink of an eye

I’d be back where I started,

Waiting to die.

Reviews

[several thousand]

Wow. This is such an inspiring poem. I absolutely enjoyed every line. What can I say? It's brilliant. Thank you for sharing. :)

[SoberBunny]

Aww thank you, really does mean a lot to me. :)