Why

inspired by the book Such a Pretty Girl by Laura Wiess

I sit on the bed

Listening to mommy and daddy fight

I cover my head with a pillow

Covering up the sound of yelling

They yell about money

They yell about me

Daddy tells mommy to leave

I hear the door slam

He comes into my room

Sits on my bed

Stroking my hair

With his hands

Shhh its ok

He whispers

Wiping the tears  

From my eyes

He takes his hand

Moves it up and down my thigh

I try to move

But his hand holds me firm

I plead him to stop

But he continues

Please stop I beg

He slaps me

Tells me to shut up

He gets on top of me

Doing his deed

I scream at him

When he left

I ask myself

Why

 

 

Author's Note

Honest opinion

Reviews

[MuSe Ampoule]

I second SpokenWord's analysis of this piece. Great perspective being from a child, though some clean-up editing could make it much more sharp...removing needless repetition would keep it from coming off contrived and trite.

Difficult subject matter deserves intelligent handling to be applicable for feelings of the readers to relate and this is where I have to differ from previous posts...there is a need for more feeling in this piece to be expressed. The writer touches on it, but it could be pushed a little further in my opinion. Specifically because it is from a 1st person POV. The child in this expresses little feeling about the fighting, and doesn't touch on the anticipatory anxiety of the act to come. What appears at the end feels of a repetitious happening to the reader so the character could display more anxiety in this.

This is a good piece and has potential to be better.

[Jeff]

Strong poem.

[Amy Bumpas]

This is a powerful poem, with strong words that want to be
heard.

[Nicaushio Yamaki]

Very nice, keep up the good poem all work is good it doesn't matter how the words sound it knowing your own style and place. Great job Taylor

[Cafe Reader]

A very well written poem. You expressed your emotions honestly. So sad!

[Color of the Iris]

Wow, this has actually happened to me, so I can really relate to this poem. It brings back terrible memories. It is a great poem, but it aches my heart.

[Sam]

=,( this is so sad! I liked it and it was written wonderfully but its still so sad!

[An owl on the moon]

This is such a sad, painful write.. knowing that every day such horrible things happen behind closed doors.. It breaks my heart.. and your question just rings on.. Why..

[the-One-with-the-Darkne..]

I agree with Jonathan, so good.

[M.a. Benjamin]

This is a well constructed poem, very sad though.

[Jonathan]

Holly s**t you have real grit to write about
Rape. Wow, I'm completely blown away.
I'm not saying that it is a bad write, quite
The opposite it is well done.