Forbidden Love

How two different people fall in love

She is dark

He is light

She lives in night

He lives in day

She has no one

He has everyone

She watches him from under the shadows

He watches her from above the clouds

She loves him

He loves her

But they know this love can never be

Because she is dark

And he is light

Author's Note

tell me what you think

Reviews

[waleed blacko]

liked the title... but the repeating of words such shehe somehow weakening it, its a nice start...rhyming is not important to deliver an idea...but playing with words and using strong words some how leaves a good touch over a poem...but since ur new to writing as u said...ur gonna learn how to use the right words that fits with a concept in a very well way, reading more will help u a lot with this...good luck

[Preston Lynch]

i love it. It's deep and true for so many. it's not cluttered with crap it's straight to the point.

[<3Lil.Bit(:]

Brillant yet simple. I love the message of the poem. I can picture a guy standing in the sunlight with girls all around him, while a girl stands in the shadows by herself. Yet they both watch each other from the distance. Great job!!

[Hello, Goodbye]

It hints at darker tones and is very real in its message.. good exploration and dont feel afraid to push the wording and the despondency in these themes that you are exploring..

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is very good. You counter each statement with another. I like the flow and the story in your words. You are a talented writer. In so few words you create a strong poem of love disappointments.
A excellent poem.
Coyote

[sweetylee1994]

compare and contrast - its as simple as that. nice work. Yet, the structure wasn't so hot. ^_^ Even so I still liked the romance of it. Like romeo and juliet, they must fight for it. ^_^ Such a lovely internal struggle due to their outside differences. But to be honest-does dark and light have to be seperate. For you can not have a shadow without a light source, and light is pointless with out the dark. They go together in an unending harmony. That is the true romance of it.

[vinny ciambriello]

Love it. Simple, free of excess and pretense.

[Keriun]

Honestly, I think this wasn't written well. I get what you feel but I think that you haven't expressed it well enough. I would also suggest that you shouldn't appear to rhyme in parts but simply, either rhyme all the way, or don't. Lol. Well, since you're new to writing, I think there's much room for improvement ^^

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

forbbiden love.... good write

[Dante Yurei]

Love the contrast in this poem. Reminded me of a short story I did a long time ago (lost now...) In my opinion it was good, but was a little short, you could have written a little more about them, but that's just my opinion! Still I enjoyed this poem, keep it up!