Crazy love

Close is madness

Why do i miss you?

When you are here beside me?

Is my saneness  --gone?

Author's Note

Oh well have a nice read

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

I can only imagine how many of us can relate to this excellently laid three line poem … I know I do.
Teacher's hint (if you're interested): By adding "here" to L2 and substituting "saneness" for "sanity" you'll have a nice basic 5/7/5 syllable Japanese Senryu poem … like this one below:

Why do I miss you
when you are here beside me;
is my saneness gone?

Too many times I've sat beside someone I love; though, they did not feel that love for me.
I can think of no more painfully crazy example of loneliness than unrequited love.

Thank you, Snow, for sharing your poetry at the Café! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Snow_]

That would had been fun...If I'm allowed to write sad poetry :D ... I think you had just misunderstood me,,,. this is about closeness...Missing someone....even if he/she is there beside you....Like my grandmother....Like you love her too much that I miss her. Even if she is still there.

Why must it be a senryu? Can you double check as i think my school told me love is already a haiku....it might be traditional...or was i mistaken...

[Snow_]

But you are always welcome.....In reading my poetry...Plss do not be ashamed...

[Richard🖌]

The Senryu: Has a human theme "mostly".
The Haiku: Has a Nature and/or seasonal theme "only".
I didn't misunderstand you, Snow … I spoke with my interpretation of your poem. Your poem is ambiguous and abstract, and nothing tells us with exactness what you meant … thus, we're left to interpret it, each in our own way(s).

So, you'll know I'm worthy of giving proper critique: Though, I'm retired, I taught poetry professionally to literally hundreds of poetesses and poets of all skill levels who came to me all over the world for more than 40-years … many of them members on this site, and I have a Master of Fine Arts Degree with concentrations on Prose & Poetry.
As a novice poet, if you are interested in composing poetry in its correct forms, I will be most happy to lend you a helping hand. If not, then I'll just review you and offer whatever honest critique I know will help you develop into a better poet without getting technical.
If you'd rather I didn't, I'll respect your wishes.

My very best to thee! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Snow_]

I would be happy for you to help me more...plss...
Oh i see thank you...so it has a seasonal theme...thanks

[Snow_]

I see so it was not 7 syllables i am quite sorry.Changed.

[Richard🖌]

Snow,
It's great to know that you can take and use good advice and proper information … so many cannot (or, are not willing to) change anything, and you and I know that without change, no progress can be made.
With your willing outlook, you'll quickly learn and your poetry will sing and dance upon the page! 🎶

[Snow_]

Thanks....

[Tom]

Alas it happens, love gone sour me thinks... Nicley penned!

[Snow_]

Thanks a lot

[Brandy]

Someone like me, certainly craves closeness. It's a connection indeed, of the heart, mind and body.

Crazy how you can be close, yet so far away, all at the same time.
This is beautiful, tender and emotional.

[Dave W.]

Yes love does that, makes one crazy, good poem Snow keep it up.

[Jeyanthi]

If it is that much crazy,
it gets into deeper level
like ocean... hope it's not pit that been digging 😅