Reflection *rewrite and re-edit*

Alone am I this night of flutter, confusion reigns, so I utter. The air is that of a clouded dream; so dark like that of an ordeal gleam.

***A finished rewrite and edit of one of my older poems***

 

Reflection

Written by Adam M. Snow

 

I am alone this night of flutter;

confusion reigns, so I utter,

"The air is that of a clouded dream;

so dark like that of an ordeal gleam."

 

I wonder where this fancy bestowed me;

in a room, damp it be.

My vision is blurred by this smoky scene.

I see only a table, draped of shallow green.

 

I pondered there for a moment, a moment it was;

but apparently a moment too long, came abuzz.

It echoes louder, louder atop of that table cloth;

calling to me my once forgotten troth.

 

So heedfully I approach the table with ease,

Seeing afar it covered in bluish frieze.

My vision once blurred, now felt clearer;

that vanity table shown an olden mirror.

 

Now from the vanity table, a mirror I now held

I glanced upon myself, now greatly compelled.

A face has shown, was I yet not I,

it cursed myself to die.

 

The image that was shown had shadowed a vision:

Ye or I inter sweet derision,

o'er thy pass of insanity wake

as much of pain as I could take.

 

The mirror’s shown cracked; I feel it no more.

My heart beats cold, my days be hoar.

I'd fallen apart to lose my way;

“Am I now one in a blackened day?”

 

I watch my life now turned to mist;

The writer is I, who cannot exist.

I shown cracked in my own reflection

these wounds are the signs of my affliction.

 

I am one in this reflection shown two;

seeking to make my life anew.

I asked my reflection to be shown;

my truth, my past is left unknown.

 

I ask of thee, "Let it be done."

The writer is I, the lonely one

My reflection, it strains drops of blood;

engulfs it now in life's lowly flood.

 

My eyes are stained as I lay cold,

I am weak-bound growing old.

My voice is muted as my heart now breaks;

my body's bounded, my soul still aches.

 

Misery whelms my ever being,

leaving I without a sight for seeing.

Burned into my mind, a vision of pain

as the mirror, cursed me insane.

 

To be upon a mirror image,

upon a worldly scrimmage.

My reflection does not show

this truth I do not dare to know.

 

The mirror’s cracked; I feel it no more.

My heart beats cold, leaving me sore.

I've fallen apart and lost my way;

“Am I but one in a blackened day?”

 

I long for amity among benevolence,

a sought after among your prevalence.

I am now we and we look back;

my ember morn has now grown so black.

 

The mirror is shattered, my image is not;

my demons has shown its devilish plot.

I've been raised yet to have fallen-

My life, my heart song is stolen.

 

My reflection in vision pains,

I am bound by my worldly chains.

I am force to face myself in this state,

the mirror shows, it-is-my-fate.

 

My image is broken yet is whole,

I seek only for my life's role.

I'm reaching through out the dark,

my only light a petite spark.

 

Nevermore will my reflection show;

I'm lost with no place left to go.

The mirror's lust has failed;

is this not where I dwelled?

 

My tears are falling upon my reflection

this holds for me no resurrection.

This cracked mirror now shows only one;

the life in this mirror is nearly done.

 

My reflection, it is not new;

like the mirror it's turning blue.

I, myself gone insane,

I shall not lack in vain.

 

I am not myself, let I be smite;

this is the shine of evil's light.

I only love yet I still hate,

I know now it is my fate.

 

I feared myself, of who I am,

curse me now let thee be damned.

Bow ye not of I with shame,

only I am whom to blame.

 

I cannot live like the past,

nor the future of all in vast.

http://amsnow.weebly.com

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

'The mirror is shattered, my image is not;
my demon has shown its devilish plot.
I've been raised yet again to have fallen-
My life, my heart be stolen.'
A powerful poem. This is the type of poem that open the door to good discussion. Last line is fact. The past need to be reminders to be kind and not to repeat the same mistakes twice. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[00000000000000000000000..]

Adam that was wow, you got so many things yet it all explains, I loved it:)

[MOON]

Lovely elegant write.

[Amila Jay]

Wow. A wonderful write it is :))

[Southern Cross]

Gotta love EMO poems that deal with our self image. We all look in the mirror with doubt and resurrection. Nice write

[PokemonFan#1]

Beautiful. Simply, beautiful. A magnificent write. It was a poem told as a story. I liked it. I liked it a lot. You are my most favorite poet EVER! I love your work!

Keep it up!
=^_^=

[The Pain Stays Fresh]

This is very good! You're such an amazing writer. I love the vivid imagery and the use of vocabulary. Very well done.

[Charlotte Haran]

A short story, summarised into verse. In a way, your imagery is mesmerising and the matured language add a unique essence. I love your work.

[Elaenor Aisling]

Long, but an elegant and lovely write. Nice work.

[Katrina Mckeown]

amazing write, love everything about your poem, the flow, imagery etc.