The style of this poem is VERY intriguing--you'd have to read it a few times to puzzle it out. "Awake myself, my life not this" That's pretty accurate for dreams. Where you are in them, yet not in them, both alive and dead and watching your live/dead self from way off, all at the same time. And all the while, you can't figure out if it's you, or you watching yourself. Is this told like a 3rd-person narrator, or is it first-hand, while the dreamer's dreaming it? Whichever the case, it's pretty good. "A glimpse of my lone self strife." . . . ain't that the truth!
The writing here was great. It makes the reader think and read each line carefully, but at the same time, read it speedily to see what's next. It was definitely intriguing. :)
Very nice and interesting poem to wake in some one elses life in see thier own reflection as such a great idea and you did it so well with descriptions and all of the feelings of a anothers Man's place. It reminds me of the new movie coming out waking in anothers life but, deeper with the whole "I scream my grief, my aching soul. I plead my savior, death upon me." and so on the words are strong. Well done and keep up the good writing.
We can sometimes feel like a stranger to ourselves but our subconscious will never lie to us, that is why dreams are so important. We must take heed and listen to them. Nicely penned.
A wild place you took me in your words. I have been having some bad dreams too. I need a long vacation. I like how you described the fear and the hope it is just a dream.
"Freeing the nights, my demon abyss.
I died to wake but life not changed,"
Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote
Hm. Interesting. Nice way to dance around a topic via words--your wordplay was good, your rhymes were pretty much perfect.
Anything negative to say would be purely personal and only focused on general style. It wouldn't do to bring those bits up--we each have our own. Anyway, yeah. Good poem, good enough for me check out your other pieces, so I eventually shall.
The style of this poem is VERY intriguing--you'd have to read it a few times to puzzle it out. "Awake myself, my life not this" That's pretty accurate for dreams. Where you are in them, yet not in them, both alive and dead and watching your live/dead self from way off, all at the same time. And all the while, you can't figure out if it's you, or you watching yourself. Is this told like a 3rd-person narrator, or is it first-hand, while the dreamer's dreaming it? Whichever the case, it's pretty good. "A glimpse of my lone self strife." . . . ain't that the truth!
"The writer’s mind, can surpass even the most intellectual minds." –Adam M. Snow
I keep my work clean, I write to inspire others. Some people would even call me a philosopher, but w.. more..