we are not merely skin, and imperfection is perfection...
the real truth is inside as to who and what we are...and what we are worth to ourselves and others...
those who find themselves too good to love others...those with supremacist views....will find themselves thrown under the bus in the end...powerful poem here Sneh
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
How lovely And inspiring your review is.... Thanks a lot :")
Whatever is outside is superfluous; it's all on the inside of us. "no better imperfect perfection"...."luck is no defect".. I love those words... they speak a thousand... we are really all ordinary people, all the same, except we are unique in our DNA. Well done Sneh
Best, Betty
This one seems to be a comment on race. I believe the poet is saying it is the inner part of a person that is important, rather than the various skin tones that abound in the world. The last verse is rather mysterious to me.
The beginning was flowing 3rd and 4th were a disconnect in flow but portrayed the piece well .i was intrigued with the tittle and not a bad poem of style.great job
Your poem is similar with life: short, because we're simply travelers in this world, but full of meanings that sometimes we tend to overlook. Great job! :)
I cannot but notice the lack of a few words to make this more understandable (since the lack of punctuation isn't helping much). The "the" in the second line is unnecessary too, for "the dusky" doesn't complement anything as is, and it appears like you're meaning to say "the dusky, smooth leather (skin)". Were it to go "the dusky/The smooth/Shine ....." it would work (the "leather skin" could even be included in the "shine" line). Also, the archaic indicative conjugation for "thou" is "-est", so "reach" would have to be "reachest" which would ultimately mar the flow and power of the overall piece (best stick with "you" unless you're making the whole poem in the archaic language).
But, Sneha......this is a wonder in the making!! Powerful ideas, juicy lines, almost phenomal execution!! You have a gem on your hands, but it needs some tweaking before it can be considered an absolute masterpiece!! Great start!! Enjoyed this nonetheless.
Well done Sneha. Truly reflects the old saying 'beauty's only skin deep'...which isn't entirely true...real beauty is inside and if there is beauty inside, it bursts to the surface and shines outward.
Your way of making a point is distinct & unique, while your point is a common & relatable one. Becuz of the art you use, I'm reminded of someone in particular on Facebook who always posts selfies that are near flawless, but never smiling . . . no expression at all . . . as if deadpan is all the rage. In fact, I kinda avoid people who post mostly selfies, a constant stream of them. There's something unnatural in being that focused on one's own appearance (altho I was the same way, when young!) Well-crafted thought-provoking words! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
the wrap hides whats inside and whats in them is the beauty never the cover some of the most truly beautiful things in life have ugly covers and some of the ugliest things in life have pretty packaging:) tis the matter tween the ears that truly can ever discern the things that matter. like your words here Sneh
We are but more than skin deep. We are who we really are deep inside. No one is better than anyone else. Even though I bet you do get some who think they are. Powerful, true and insightful.
Hey, I am Sneha. Fonder of imaginations and poetries. Often times I fail to convey my actual feelings ,so I preferred this.
Thanks for the visit!! 🌹
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