VALID

You've right, you're right
Leave troubles far of thine sight
why to sink?
Just after creating magic in a blink
Don't forget to break the link
Link, with all those trolls, all those
Faceless fellas, called critics

Feel heavenly, live daringly
Stay uninfected, most are
Disease proned!
This is adequacy, just lack of literacy
Will bring bundle of fallacy
Pretend not to be a junkie,
Serve as lavishing monkey
Prudency will fall on carpet
Let your feets tap on it!

It's possible and valid to utter
How Impossible !
You've right, you're right
Can't please every heart,
Can't praise every art!
Just few lines ,
Connecting the dots!

Author's Note

After a long....love you all...! :)

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

yes, all the damn critics who tear apart what they couldn't write in a lifetime...that kind of writing that stirs the heart and mind...i heard a quote in a movie once..."many writers know the rules of writing, but they don't know how to write.

i like this piece...
j.

[Sneh]

Considering your insights here... Thanks much Jacob! :)

[Vertigo Cat1111]

This is so clever! I get the sense from this you've been writing for a long time, you use such smart words and each rhyme is so polished and clean. It's so grand and just catchy and even in a way, uplifting! It's uplifting, I think, because it's just so well written, it's inspiring, and makes me happy someone has such a talent and passion for writing.

[emipoemi]

Holy - kwap! If I'm reading this correctly, you are speaking my language with this piece. Those last four lines are gooooooolden! This may stem from your lack of proficiency in English (don't know how fluent you are), but you are missing some articles ("the"/"a"/"an" etc) here and there, as well as other minor words for grammatical sense (and musicality purposes). Don't say "thine" unless you're going to write the whole poem in archaisms, for it sticks out like a sore thumb otherwise (it would also be "thy" because "sight" starts with a consonant). Better to simply say ".....far from sight". Same goes with "why to sink?" no need of the "to" (musically better), and no need of the"?" either, for the next line is a direct continuation.

Furthermore, don't be afraid to line break at the powerful points. Widow and Orphan lines should be done sparingly, for every time you line- or stanza-break you're saying something (poetry says much more in the whiteness between the lines and stanzas than it does with the actual words). So observe:

"Don't forget to break the link
*With all those trolls, *that extra "link" is not needed (mars the power and flow)
All those faceless fellas **called critics" **these two words could also have their own line (if you want)

Observe again:

"Feel heavenly, ***live daringly ***could have their own line if you feel it.
Stay uninfected,
Most are
****Disease-prone" ****this line could be on the same line as "most are" (if you like), but
most importantly, the expression would be written as such
(hyphenated and no "d" at the end of "prone")

Your only errors, Sneh, are minor technicalities, but overall, this is a superb piece, epitomizing your wit and genius. Well done!

[Sneh]

Thanks for the effort.... I will try to polish ....:)

[LitStar]

i luv this one

your wordplay is very advanced


L.S

[Sneh]

Glad you like it.....have a nice day!

[Taniska 😊€..]

I can relate your poem to my own life. Cause I was also trolled by some critics .And your stuffs is awesome it says that it is easy to criticize others stuff but it's not easy to be criticize.(right ). I like your poem thanx for writing this . Keep writing( smiles) 😊😊😊

[Sneh]

Glad that you could relate :)
Thanks dear Taniska..!

[John the Baptist]

I get the feeling the poet has encountered some of those critical comments that are not worded with tact. Sometimes one can grow from criticism, if it's well meant and delivered. Other times it's better to ignore them. As the poem states, you can't please every heart.

[Sneh]

Yeas John, I am getting ways these days.... Thanks for stopping by! :")

[Paul Bell]

Always someone throwing a boulder into the river, though you never quite see them.
Anyone can be a critic, you just open your mouth.
But can you walk the walk when push comes to shove, mmmmm.

[Sneh]

Yes, I Would try harder :)
Thanks for the review!

[barleygirl]

Your poem sounds like how I try to be with my writing -- not caring how others perceive it, just satisfying my needs in writing. Your poem shows how it's possible to twist ourselves in knots if we worry about what others say to tear down our art. The trolls are the most uncreative ones. They are jealous of the creative ones. Let's step over these inevitable sharp rocks & celebrate the creation of art (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Sneh]

Margie, thanks much!
Yes, We need critics to become perfectionist;).....
Have a great day !

[WILDERNESS]

Loved it absolutely, what a message. Brilliant and fluent, you are a great writer ............ keep going.

[Sneh]

Thank a lot ::))

[Rusalka]

I like this poem, it's quite inspirational. Good job :)

[Sneh]

Thanks alot lovely lady! :)