Lost Girl

"just thoughts into words"

They said,
Moon , the ultimate beauty on planet,
She waited, many sleepless nights,
To drink up the whole vibe.
Her innocense levelled high,
She quit the fight!

They said,
Sun , the supreme and powerful .
She waited to attend all lights,
Baring those ugly skins, as coal mines!
Her power got soaked,
She did not reply!

They said,
He loves her, like no one,
Like god, like never fraud .
She waited, every mini second,
When he was abroad, creating workside,
Her charm failed, her glow faced hailstorm,
Who knew, her hands are replaced!

They said,
Heavenly breath is unconscious,
Insane in ways like none.
She waited, counting every stroke
Even heaven denied the calculation,
As she could not add the last one!

They said ,
Corpses are meant to be burnt,
She waited to reach final destination,
The ashes, not moved yet,
Since the time of her cremation!

Reviews

[Ted Kniffen]

Pretty good, Sneh. A bit otherworldly which I like. L5 V1 - innocence
L4 v2 - those ugly skin suggests a plurality, so either that ugly skin or those ugly skins.
L2 V5 same issue with plurality.
All in all a very good piece.
Keep writing, there is talent here.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i think for some of us, even death is not the end...and for those who live to write...we hope that after we are just ashes...our lives will still mean something...our poetry will still be read...
we can't quite calculate life...but writing about it...helps us reflect and maybe find some understanding of it.
j.

[Sneh]

Right Mr. Jacob! .....Thanks for such insightful review :)

[wordman]

wondering thoughts put to poetry,we live,we die,we always wonder

[Sneh]

Yes, we live on a wonderland! Thank you so much for this effort. Good day :)

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[Coyote Poetry]

The sun, the moon, heaven and death. We shall know them all. I liked how you used the words. Death shall come, we enjoy life till we are done. Thank you Sneh for sharing the amazing poem.
Coyote

[Sneh]

And thank you Coyote for reading it..all good wishes thine way! 💐

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Poet.