Untitled - While scars heal.

“What I need; do you even hear me plead? Do I give you joy, when you see my arms bleed, I give you my all, from the top you watch me fall, A wall of hate, how am I too relate, I am not a toy, I am a sad ploy used for your joy, why I see truth in obvious lies. A ruse father with a short fuse, he hits’ never shall I deem him fit. A smile makes me run for a while, atleast a mile.. Is this my first trial? These bruises wan’t heal for a while… What can I say? You’ve made me loose my way..”

Author's Note

Ignore grammar, and all that, This is a piece I wrote in school thinking about my father when I was younger, I just wanted too put it out into words, hope you enjoy.. please feel free too comment, don't put rude comments I don't need that b.s!

Reviews

[Seanne Tholltree]

it hurts though it's true...

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

painful to read, emotions penned so well here.

[Kat Collins]

Good expression of feeling and the confusing mixture of pain and love of your father. I love the format of the prose as well.

As a side note, I know you say to ignore grammar, spelling, etc., but it's impossible to ignore. In order for a write to be fully effective, it should be written as free as possible of these errors. It's okay if it was incorrect when you were younger, but when sharing it with the public as you become older and more mature, you really should try and correct it. It will have more of an impact and your words and thoughts are valuable! I would think you would want to present them in the best light! It's tough work, but being a writer is never easy. :) Just my opinion. Take it for what it's worth!

Keep sharing your strong thoughts....

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

A lot of aching feeling in this write... very good at putting it down on paper in such a great rhyming flow, something i think you're really great at. A nice write... very nice considering the pain that you were able to write out into it.

[stars are far]

very great and amazing
i love your style of writing :)
great work :D

[Lily Mae]

I think you expressed these feelings surrounding you and your father perfectly. Sometimes we have to vent it out before the processing can begin..x