Battle For The Throne

In a blinding flash of brilliant white light, the queen fell to the ground in an instant. Her body met the frozen ground with excruciating pain.. Her sight blurred for a moment, unconsciousness was knocking at her and without a second though she surrendered... when she awakened she could smell the sweet grass, and feel the blood sliding from the cut on her forhead. She felt the pain from the curse in every part of her body, she tried moving her legs, but they wouldn’t cooperate, she didn’t know if it was out of fear or because they couldn’t. without being fully awakened she was ripped from the ground where she lay. World flashing before her eyes, she knew she had only a few more minutes to live, she decided it was now or never…

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar

Reviews

[TJ]

"Her sight blurred for a moment, the wave of unconscious was knocking at her, without a second thought she surrendered" try instead "Her sight blurred for a moment, unconsciousness was knocking at her and without a second though she surrendered."
This will incease the flow and clarify that sentence.
All in all I liked this, seems pretty descriptive and does a good job hooking the reader in.

[Jean Alexandria Randall]

This was very descriptive. I like the way it flows. It is a very nice setup to what I am sure will be a very intriguing story.