The Envelope...Please

How I see it~

 

Imprisoned in this virtual tower

Gazing past these windows blue

Scanning cyber treetop lines

Hoping for one glimpse of you

 

I watched you span my e-moat

outwitting Sir Norton’s fiery wall

Aiding and abetting this escapee

in a gallant fiber optic brawl

 

Now we click to Open Sesame

Listening for the signature sound

Kur-Plunk-Kur-Plunk-Kur-Plink

Hail! The PLINKING mail inbound

 

In these flying inky downloads

dwell the magic words to glide

Up! Upload and Awe...way we go!

Soaring on our very own

 

                           E L E C T R O N I C      

 

 C              E

    A       P      T               E!

          R                R      D

                                I

                                 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[J. James Reider]

This is extremely witty! You knew that I would appreciate this d:

As for the punctuation... It's a matter of preference I guess, I would have punctuated every line (I like to think) but I don't think it is necessarily necessary (Mr. Redundant here) in this particular piece. Here is how I see it, if your next line isn't capitalized, then you should have some sort of punctuation whether it is a , ; or- lol.... That just opens the argument that any line that is followed by a capitalized word should be followed with a . ? or ! so it really is back to being a matter of preference.

I love Sir Norton's fiery wall... Brilliant! I suggest highlighting fiery in deep crimson like you did plinking in violet... Maybe Electronic as a voltage blue or something.

Your rhyming is subtle and it really adds to the piece... This is a very, very, very, very cool piece. Wicked!

BTW, did I mention that it was an F.A.P.? Because it is d:

[Wildecat]

This is a superb piece of writing, loved the end very creative.

[Joanna Maharis]

This piece is filled with such beautiful vivid images. I like the way you take the reader on a journey of internetting. This piece deals with subject matter that most everyone can relate to. Great job.

[cyanskye]

Is it wrong to describe a poem as adorable??? I can't think of a better word. You are the queen of clever. I love Sir Norton, oh heck, I just love the whole thing.

[[untitled]]

This is absolutely awesome............I LOVE IT!

[emmajoy]

That is so go od, the f ormat, the phrasing, t he fun! Thank you s o much for s haring a very individual piece of writing.

[HoorayForUnderdog]

This is GREAT !
You rule the Cyber World!

[yinseriv]

There is a very good use of format, color and spacing within this poem. I hesitate to use the word clever but I shall. BUT where is the punctuation!!! MAWHAAHAAHAA!!!

[Dizzy-Izzy]

That is cool Bec! I love the way you did Carpetride... Like your new Icon too...