Moonlight Madness

For a Vicious Circle Challenge

 

Moonbeam decanter dispensed her shine
Splashing a mantle on mossy sweet ground

Swaying pines slowly boughed out of line
When the Waltz of Wind issued the sound

Our minds ran away in childlike sneaking
To secluded commune with nature’s master

But a dervish of spirits unleashed such freaking
Uninhibited pines squealed around us faster

With wild hearts pressing onward in hope
Hunkering we scurried down on all four
Stopping, dropping and rolling we grope
Giggling because our jeans were tore

Showers of awe in life's sparkling champagne
Drenched forest innocents in gushing refrain

 

Author's Note

The Forum Challenge was to use the following in order at the end of each line: Shine, ground, line, sound, sneaking, master, freaking, faster, hope, four, cope, tore, champagne and refrain.

Reviews

[Moonlit-Blues]

Showers of awe in life's sparkling champagne
Drenched forest innocents in gushing refrain

These two lines summed it up for me, beautifully written, loved it, fastly paced with fluidity that strikes as the decanter of champagne highlights the gushing refrain. beautiful imagery of the woods mingling in with that of a party, beautiful.

[J. James Reider]

great job!

isn't it interesting to see the contrast of understanding of two people and those 14 words? My version turned into something quite bleak, but I guess that is my style... lol

Don't forget to post a link in the VC forum leading to this piece. I haven't checked that thread lately. Bravo (:

[cyanskye]

Great job on the Challenge. I love the feel of crawling through the woods in a sudden rain.
ps:
I think you win the "freaking" usage prize!!

[Nick Erickson]

You know, this piece brought back to memory of time spent in the woods when I was young, out among the giants of this earth and their hallowed grounds.

What I really enjoyed is the third time reading it, the imagery that kept coming up. It may not be what you intended, but the moon came to life, running happily through the forest, enjoying life with terrestrial beings for a moment at night.

Very well done.. excellent!!

[Dizzy-Izzy]

That was excellent...