In Stillness-Standing 1

# 1 in a series of my Soul's Journey

 

From the Land of Nothing

in the Valley of Nil

A swaddling in hushed

silence-wholeness…so still

 

Light-sound heard now  stirring

her matrix - the moment sublime

A juncture soon spoke

in soft whisper called time

 

Sacred portal within creation

now ablaze with star light

Earthman in Moon Woman

sensuality's slow motion-embryo flight

 

Autumn’s last hint of splendid hue

fades snowy on November's gale

Newborn gently tugged to earth

recalling her purple umbilical trail

 

I am a Woman-Still

Standing in the Gift of Gratitude

Gift received- Birth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Seven years prior to my birth, my father survived a horrible work accident. I will spare you the gory details of how his brain was penetrated and his right eye was shattered. The doctors said he survived by the "Width of a Hair". Had he not survived, I wouldn't be here. There is a miracle in your life too...seek it...embrace it.

Reviews

[J. James Reider]

These are all very good... They are like an epic in poetry.

Personally, I like this one the best so far. I love the way you portrayed the innocence, and the entire miracle involved. I used to think that birth wasn't a miracle at all, that all changed when I saw my first son born.

You did a wonderful job in hinting at the time of your birth. Everyone carries a certain pride about the time they were born, and rightfully so. When you remember all the attention we got and still get when our birthdays come around.

One suggestion. The last line of the first stanza... Consider writing it "in wholeness-(silence)- be still". Shh can be distracting to some readers and hang them up at that point. The silence in parenthesis is something the reader can choose to include or exclude, but either way it sets the same tone.

It is wonderfully penned, and I give it a ten! (:

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I am glad you called me back for the notes and changes. I truly and fully enjoy this series.

That is a very powerful story, and this poem has done well in expressing gratitude.

I can envision a midnight hue color on canvas while reading your poem, this shows well on your ability to bring forth your skill in impressing imagery with your pieces.

Very good form and rhythm, good choice of words, powerful message.

A very good piece.

[J. James Reider]

I do not remember all of the details that I read just yesterday, but I know that this is fresher and more crisp. It was hard to better the piece I saw yesterday. I even suggested the change in the last line of the first stanza... You tweaked my suggestion and made it 10x better. It is quite clear that you really care about this whole series, and especially the presentation of the series.

I am not giving you a "fluff" review. This is publishable material you are writing here. It would be especially great if you could get the whole series published. I will send you some info on publishers that may be interested in what you have to say here.

Again, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, good. (: I hope to read more in this series, and I love to watch you use great care in the adjustments you make to it.

[Dianne]

As Einstein said, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Like you, I think the second way is much more fun. Very well written.

[Ron B]

This is a beautiful and moving poem. I love this "series" that involve the gifts of life though they might not have felt that way at the time. Excellent job.

[Dizzy-Izzy]

How does one type out the catching of a breath? Not a gasp of surprise, but the breathing in of awe... ... ...?


"Newborn gently tugged to earth
recalling her purple umbilical trail"

I love this line... When I read it I imagine the starry expanse of the universe... something we are all a part of until some divine calling places us here to do whatever it is we are supposed to do. An eternal, cosmic, calling... ... ... (thinkin)... ... I hope I am living up to mine, I don't think I have figured out what it is yet.

Not many people contemplate such things their entire lives... "ignorance is bliss."

91 To each his sufferings: all are men,
92 Condemned alike to groan;
93 The tender for another's pain,
94 The unfeeling for his own.
95 Yet ah! why should they know their fate?
96 Since sorrow never comes too late,
97 And happiness too swiftly flies.
98 Thought would destroy their paradise.
99 No more; where ignorance is bliss,
100 'Tis folly to be wise.

The last lines of Thomas Gray's "Ode on a Distant Prospect at Eton College". You prompted me to learn something new Bec, thanks. "There is a miracle in your life too...embrace it." I am trying.

Have a great day!

Kristina

[WordMaster]

If this is the first� I wait in anticipation of what follows

Well done .. very creative approach to this subject

Totally enjoyable

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I love the incredible musical pattern that each of these poems follows. The music of your words draws in the reader and allows us a unique and mystical ride...leaving me feeling suspended, floating out upon webs of starlight.