If You Don't Know - Ch 2: Reflection

I should have got his name. He was thoughtful enough to help me. The least I could have done was told him my name at least. Ugh! Why was I so rude? Why do I care so much? Its not like I'll ever see him again. But still.. who was he? Why was he even on that bridge? I know he didn't follow me. He went back the way he came from. Did he know I would be there? What are you even saying Jasey, obviously he didn't know you would be there! "He doesn't even know your name idiot." I whispered to myself. I sigh heavily as I reach my house. I looked up to see if my window was still open but sadly what little wind we had, had shut it and once it shuts it locks. I rummaged through my backpack for my keys but when I couldn't find them I quIckly grabbed the bobby pin that held my beanie to the top of my hair walked to the front door. Diane never figured out that Jaxon and I would sneak out late at night and Dad would lock the doors thinking we were home fast asleep. I may have learned a thing or two from my older by 2 minutes brother. Finally I heard the lock click and I quietly pushed the door open. Before I could even completely step inside I was thrown to the wall in the hallway and the door slammed shut.

"Do you think you can do what you want while living under my roof ya little s**t!" David sneered. He reeked of alcohol and cigarettes.

"Technically its MY DADS roof." I sarcastically said under my breath.

"What'd you say b***h?! That piece of s**t don't live here! Don't you dare talk back to me about that mother f****r!" Before I could reply I felt a warm sting on my face. "Maybe if you'd stop being such a w***e and sneaking out your window every night your mother wouldn't hate you so much, heh! Maybe thats exactly why your daddy left the country!" He continued.

I tried standing up to run towards the stairs and up to my room to safety but the second I stood up I was forced back to the ground by a fist in the stomach. I grabbed at my stomach in pain. I tried to hold back my tears but a single one escaped onto my cheek and rolled down to my lip.

"Stand up again b***h! I dare you!" He growled with hate filled eyes and sweat dripping down his face. He looked like an animal. A gruesome, disgusting hateful animal.

"Please.. David.. please.. I just wanna go to bed.. I swear it won't happen again.. I swear.. plea�"" I begged before being cut off by a backhand to the mouth.

"Shut the f**k up and get out of my face b***h!" He spat and kicked me as if I were a whimpering baby kitten. I quickly began crawling towards the stairs, the second I reached them I ran up as fast as I could and slammed my bedroom door shut, locked it with both locks and dropped to the floor with my back against the door. I sat there with my head hung between my knees and my face in my hands just crying. Hours passed by and I couldn't feel anything but pain. My ribs were hurting, my lip was stained with dried up blood, my cheek was warm where it had been impacted by David's hand. My thigh was shaking with weakness and my eyes felt so swollen and puffy from crying for so long. Finally I gained the strength to stand up and walk over to my bathroom, which I thanked God was in my own room on nights like these. The last thing I needed was to go back downstairs and face Diane like this.

I walked into my bathroom and flicked the light on. I slowly lifted my hoodie off and tossed it to the floor. Next, I pulled my jeans down and off from around my ankles. I took my bra and panties off and turned my shower on then steadily got in. Steam quickly filled the entire bathroom. After a few minutes I got out, dried my body carefully not putting pressure onto the painful areas I was hit. I dropped my towel to the floor and turned to look at myself in my full length mirror. A tear rolled down my cheek at first sight of my reflection. My own reflection. I hated myself. I had a a busted lip, a swollen cheek, a huge bruise on my ribcage by where David punched me, and another rather large bruise on my thigh where I was kicked. I turned my arms outward to see my arms in the mirror as well. Scars and burn marks ran like a train track up and down. Old and new. It was disgusting. I was disgusting. Without hesitation I opened my medicine cabinet and grabbed my little blue bag. I reached into the bag and found it. I gazed at it for a moment. It was cool, shiny and sharp. I dropped to the floor onto my towel and stared as I slowly dragged the blade across my skin. The blood began to gush out on either side and I just sat there and watched as I bled out. Maybe I hoped I would bleed out so much that I would die. Maybe this was my way out. Jaxon had the bridge and I had this. Before I could continue with my thoughts my eyes got low and I blacked out.