If You Don't Know - Ch 1: Like The Song

A Story by Snow

I'm gonna leave this s**t town someday. I will get out of here. Make a better life for myself somewhere. Anywhere. I'm not gonna live like this forever. No way, no how. Jaxon didn't have a chance to get out. They pushed him too much. They put too much pressure on him. Stay in school. Get a job. Focus on your grades. Apply to Pre Med schools when you graduate. As if that all wasn't bad enough, just imagine the night they caught him with Ryan. That was the night Jaxon left me here. And I didn't help him. I stood by and watched as my brother. My own flesh and blood. My other half. My twin, jumped right off that bridge. I watched him jump. I watched him kill himself. I may as well had been the one who pushed him. I didn't stop him. Sometimes I tell myself I should have jumped too. Maybe then Diane and Dad wouldn't have split up. Maybe then Diane wouldn't have re-married Daivd. And maybe, just maybe then I wouldn't be stuck in this living hell of a life. 

"F**k.." I whispered, as I put my cigarette out on my arm.

"Are you f*****g smoking in there again Jae! Open this f*****g door now!" Diane yelled from behind my locked bedroom door. "Dave! This b***h is smoking again! Its stinking up the entire house! You're disgusting Jasey! You're just like ya' father! Disgusting! D****t David! Do something!" She continued.

I quickly tossed the extinguished cig into the trash before rolling my hoodies sleeves down to cover the several scars and burn marks, I grabbed my backpack and opened my window and climbed out. I scampered across the roof to the edge where the vine ladder Jax had built to sneak out to see Ryan was. I briskly climbed down and took off down the street as fast as I possibly could. I turned back only once and saw David standing outside the front door staring at me with spiteful eyes. When I got far enough that I wasn't so scared of David popping up behind me I slowed down and began walking as opposed to running still. As I neared the American River I thought to myself. You see, my life wasn't always like this. I had a family. I had a brother. We fought often but we adored one another. We would keep secrets from our parents but we would tell each other everything. There wasn't a thing we didn't know about each other. Hell! I knew that when he lost his virginity to Katie Anderson freshman year he cried because it "didn't feel right" and that he knew at that moment he was gay. We didn't keep secrets. But he kept a secret from me that night. He didn't tell me where he was going or when he would be back. He forced me to follow him. I followed him here. To this very bridge. This very spot that I was now standing at. I peered down at the shining piece of metal with the purple and turquoise ribbons tied around it. Without so much as a second thought I dropped my backpack on the floors and climbed over the metal railing. I stood there with my hands gripping the railing tightly. I pushed myself forward and shut my eyes until all I could hear was the roaring river beneath me. Why can't I do it? Why can't I let go? Just do it! 

"Why can't you just do it Jasey!" I yelled and began to cry.

"Because you know you have so much more to live for.." I quickly snapped my head to the left of me as I heard a voice.

The sun was setting, it was blinding but I could make out the silhouette of what seemed to be a young man. He was tall. Very tall. His voice was soft, thoughtful and caring even. As he stepped closer I could make out his face a bit more. He had beautiful piercing blue eyes. Almost as blue as the very river I stood above as the sunset upon it. His hair was blonde, his jawline was defined and his lips. His lips. Oh my, they were very alluring, only to be interrupted by the little metal ring pierced onto the side of his lip.

"Who are you! Why are you here! You shouldn't be here! You need to go! Now! Please!" I begged.

"Now we both know I can't do that Miss. How about you come back onto this side of the gate and we can talk about why you're here. Would you come back over now please?" He asked gently.

I gazed at him a little longer as he got closer, our eyes met and he stopped instantly as I put my arm out towards him and yelled. "Stop! Don't come closer! I'm serious! I will let go!" 

"And if you do that I'm gonna feel obligated to jump right after you. And if we don't die from the sudden forceful impact our bodies hitting the water will have I just want you to know, I can't really swim that well." He replied with a slight chuckle.

I scoffed as I looked back at him again, "How Jack Dawson of you." 

He looked at me with a confused face, "Jack who?"

"Dawson.. Jack Dawson. Titanic? Only the most romantic movie ever." I replied.

"Huh, and here I thought Gosling in the Notebook took that title. He said sarcastically. "Sorry, I've never seen that. Maybe if you come back over onto this side we can make a date to watch it together? Sound good to you?" He finished.

"And I thought my life sucked. He should be on this side of the bridge." I 

whispered to myself.

"So? Is that a date then Miss?" He continued.

I looked back down to the river below me and whispered as tears rolled down my cheeks, "Im sorry Jax.."

I slowly turned around and threw one leg over the gate and as I threw the other one over the boy ran towards me and helped me over. 

"I don't need your help!" I shouted pushing his hands away from helping me. "Just leave me alone.. You've already done enough. Go away." I said angrily as I then grabbed my backpack from the ground and stormed off.

"Hey! Can I at least know your name!" He shouted at me as I walked away. But I said nothing. I kept on walking.

He turned to the gate she was standing over and looked down to see a lock with two ribbons locked  onto the gate. He kneeled down and read the writing on the ribbons, "Jaxon & Jasey Rae Always." 

"Jasey Rae.. Like the song. I like it." He whispered to himself before looking in the direction she had walked in. She was gone. He stood up and walked in the opposite direction heading back home. On his way home all he could think about was that girl. Jasey Rae. Who was she? Why was she there? Who is Jaxon? He couldn't keep his mind off of her. He was oddly attracted to this broken girl and he didn't even know it.

© 2015 Snow

Author's Note

This is the first chapter of a story I am working on. Its a work in progress so ignore any minor grammar problems. I would love to extend it and make it longer but I am stuck on how I can do that so any help and feedback is welcome! Thanks!

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grayscale heart

This is wonderful! I'm intrigued and can't wait to read the next chapter. I like how the pain is obvious, but not like she's whining about it. That's something that I worry about in the prologue of the book I'm working on...maybe you could check it out and give pointers? Anyway, this is great! I was kind of confused by the switch in POV at the end there though. There was no warning or chapter break before going from first to third person...maybe that's just my personal preference though.

Posted 9 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

9 Years Ago

Awesome! Thank you so much. Ill definitely keep that in mind when editing the chapters. Ill go check.. read more

Reviews

miss_shanita

I enjoyed it. The change in POV was a little confusing at the end. If you want to extend it maybe add some more character physical descriptions....like describe the lead characters frame...i.e. she put the cig out on her thin pale (or tan arm) ...things like that. Also, maybe this is a minor detail...but how did he know the carved name was hers? Was she staring at it at some point when he walked up? Overall I would keep reading it because I enjoyed it....you did a good job at not over explaining things....I can tell she is troubled without you saying it directly if that makes sense.