The Journey of Life and Where it takes us

This is really what I day dream about when I should be paying attention in school:D

I walk off of the plane and smile. It's nice to be on United States ground again. I look around for my sister Mollie and my son Nicholas. I could spot Nick's brown hair and blue eyes from a mile away. I feel tears in my eyes as I drop my bag and run over to the two of them. I swoop my two year old son up into my arms and hold him close to me. My tears fall onto his head as I try and make up some of the year that I have missed with him. Mollie smiles as I set Nick down on the floor and look him in the eyes. "He's walking now." She tells me. I take a few steps back and get down on my knees. "Come on Nick! Walk to Mommy!" He wobbles on his chubby two year old legs and I swoop him up into my arms again. I grab my bag and turn to Mollie "Where did you park?" I ask. The tension between the two of us had lessened immensely, but it was still there. "I'll show you." I smile and pull Nicholas closer to me. Mollie had been taking care of him during the year that I was gone and it felt so good to hold him in my arms again. I smile and make funny faces at him as we walk out to the car. ***Mollie pulls into the driveway of the house she and Nick have been living in for a year. It was my house, but since I had gone, Mollie had been taking care of the house as well as Nick. I notice that the "for sale" sign that had been in our neighbors front yard when I left was no longer there. "Have you met the new neighbors?" I ask. "No. I didn't want to have to explain why I was living here to yet another person." Mollie was used to living in a big neighborhood, with fancy mansions and luxury lifestyles. I, however, enjoyed the authenticity of the neighborhood I was living in now. It made me feel real. Real was hard to find growing up with a life like mine.
 I walk into the house and smile to find it almost the same way I left it. "Did you just not touch everything for a year?" I ask, trying to make normal conversation. "Actually yes. I came, cleaned the house, made sure that the structure was still somewhat intact, and left." She has a sour expression on her face as I drop my bag and carry Nick into the living room. It's a small, one story house, but sometimes I feel like even that is too much. Growing up I'd gone from living in a small, dark, locked up room to a giant mansion, it's a big change. I sit in the bare living room with Nick as he runs and takes advantage of the open space. "So were there any problems?" I ask Mollie, again trying to maintain a normal conversation with her. "Yes, as a matter of fact there where. Those new neighbors have flashing lights and giant crowds in front of their house every single day! It's a pain trying to get through the mess of people! I contacted the police everyday for a month and they didn't do anything." "Why wasn't there a crowd today??" "They're on vacation. They tried asking me to watch their dog in some sort of ridiculous effort of trying to bond or something like that. I, of course, refused." I shake my head at her inability to do something for another person. She sees me and purses her lips. "I should be going now." "Okay! I love you! Goodbye! Thanks!" I yell out the door and she slams the door as she walks out of the house. I look over at Nick and I make a goofy face. "Well isn't she just grumpy today!?!" He giggles and waddles over to me. I kiss his forehead "Buddy I've missed you" ***I wake up the next morning to Nick crying. I smile and walk into his room. I pick him up and take him into my room. I hold him in my arms and he settles down. He has my nose, but other then that, he looks just like his dad. The vibrant blue eyes and the brown hair. I'd never seen his natural brown hair, because he bleached his hair, but I knew the second I saw it on Nick, that was it. I used to wonder if Nick would have my strawberry blond hair or his dads brown hair and I was a little disappointed when I saw the little brown hair peaking from Nick's head. I sigh and lay down next to Nick. He opens his blue eyes just a little and I see a smile peaking on his lips. I smile and pull him closer to me. We both lay in bed until I hear my alarm clock go off. I quickly pull myself out of bed and put on some old shorts and a t-shirt then walk into Nicks room and dress him in some play clothes. I set him on the bed and open the dresser. I needed to make a trip to Goodwill. Mollie has bought some fancy clothes for Nick. I  turn to him. "She just didn't let you get dirty, did she?" I laugh and dig deep into the dresser and find a t-shirt and jeans. I go into the garage and dig out the running stroller and put Nick inside. "Ready?" I ask and he giggles and I begin to run. *Niall's POV* We pull into the driveway after a week vacation in England and already I'm stressed out. I understand fame comes with a price but does everyone have to crowd around our house twenty four seven? I sigh and look out the window. Over in the neighbors driveway I notice a woman with strawberry blond hair and the little boy that lives next door walking out of the garage. I almost fall out of the seat. "Gosh Niall! We've seen this driveway before! No need to be so surprised!" Louis says, obviously sensing my surprise. "No, it's just... I thought I knew that girl..."

we pull into the garage and i run up to my room. i start pacing and Liam walks in the room. "who was that?" he asked. "you remember the story about the little boy and Amanda and--" "mate! was that really her???" i look over at him and he sees the fear in my eyes. "yeah mate. that's her"****Amanda's POV*I run with Nick in the stroller and i turn the corner. I forgot that there was going to be a big crowd and run into some body. a teenage girl turns around and gives me a dirty look. I don't know what to say, so i just apologize and try and wiggle my way through the crowd into the house. Nick started crying and i pull him out of the stroller. "shh... shh... come on. you can take a nap and mommy will go shower." when he doesn't settle down, i put him in the play crib outside the bathroom while i go shower***i finish blow drying my hair for the first time in months. I smile at my reflection when i see Nick waking up. I smile and Nick smiles back. "Should we go meet the new neighbors???" I ask. he giggles and claps his little two year old hands.I smile and pick him up. "ready?" I ask. he frowns and I giggle because he knows exactly what I forgot. "you're right! what should I bring? should I cook?" he giggles. I laugh because he knows exactly what to do. "you're right! I can't cook. TO WALMART!" ****Niall's POV* We're sitting in silence in the living room when Harry finally speaks "Mate! Why didn't you tell us???" I sigh and answer cautiously. "I don't know. It never really came up when all of us were together and I didn't really want to complain so-" "That isn't complaining! I promise!" Liam, who had already known the story stands up. "Well we can't hide from this forever. We have to go talk to them sometime." Louis stands up also. "Let's do this" "WAIT! what about the crowd of people outside? We'll never make it through that crowd! And somebody might think some thing is up right???" "Yeah because it's going to be so suspicious that we all go over to the neighbors house and say hello." "I suppose you're right.....Do we have to like, bring food or something?" Harry laughs "No Niall, you don't have to give up your precious food for this girl." I would laugh but I'm much too nervous. I change into a nicer shirt and peak my head out onto the porch. "Paul? Can we go over to meet the new neighbor???" He looks over at the house just as the white truck pulls back into the driveway. "Sure... You boys get ready while I see if I can get you over there." "Thanks!" *Amanda's POV* "Nick! You want to help me make dinner! This is boring!" He sits on the floor and giggles as he throws a block across the kitchen. "I know! It sucks doesn't it!" He giggles and says "Mommy!" "Nick!" I hear the doorbell ring. "Whose that?" I ask Nick, almost expected him to know who because I had no idea. I run over to the door and open it. My jaw drops. "Amanda?" asks the familiar face "Niall?" I ask I stand at the door my mouth hanging open much longer than I should've. I try and make an effort to recover when I smell smoke. "Oh gosh!" I run over to  the stove and try and pull our dinner out of the fire. "Shoot!" I yell and throw what's left into the garbage can. I walk back over to the door and Niall laughs a little. It was nice to hear that laugh again. The boys he came with look at him with surprised looks on their faces. "What? She never was a good cook!" he laughs. I smile. "Come on in. I'll order a pizza!" Niall and they boys walk into the house. "By the way, what are your names? You know before I invite you into my house and feed you." One of the boys laugh and introduces himself "Hello! My name is Louis and this is Harry, Zayn, and Liam.We're Niall's band mates!" I smile. "Amanda." I open the door a little more and give them room to come in. I walk into the living room and pick Nick up."Come on Nick! Mommy will get you some food." I pick him up and walk into the kitchen where the boys are sitting and set Nick in the high chair. Nick giggles at the new faces as pick up the phone and call the pizza place. "Marty's Pizza! How can I help you?" "Hey Marty. I burned dinner again." "AWhh!Hiya Manda! You're back already!" "Yeah! You should hand deliver the pizza so you can see me!" "Will do! You want the usual?" "No , actually I have guests! So can you just double it?" "Of course! Anything for you Manda! Be right over!" "Thanks Marty! You're the best!" "I know! See you soon!" I walk back into the kitchen and see the boy named Liam playing with Nick. "Where's Niall?" I ask. The boy named Harry replies "He ermm.. had to take a minute." "Okay. I ordered pizza! There aren't any allergies or anything are there?" "Nope! We're all good." "Oh...okay!" We sit in the kitchen for a few seconds of awkward silence when Niall walks out of the bathroom with his hair slightly messed up and his face red. "Sorry about that. So what happened?" "Amanda ordered pizza!" "YESSSS!" I laugh at Niall's enthusiasm. "Yeah, I burn dinner a little too often so almost everyone at Marty's pizza knows my name!" The boys laugh, thankfully. "So what do you do? Like where do you work?" asks Liam. "Oh! I actually just got back from India. I am in the Marine Corp."Niall almost chokes on his drink. "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Marine Corp?" "Yeah! Hadn't I told you I wanted to do that?" "NO!" "Oh...............sorry" I apologize and we sit in yet another awkward silence when I hear Marty outside. "That's the pizza guy. I'll be right back." I walk outside and greet Marty. He pulls me into a hug. "Manda! I've missed you beautiful!" "Thanks Marty! You need to save me!" "Who are you having dinner with?" "An old boyfriend who I broke up with just before leaving for boot camp. And the father of my son." "Oh! That's not good! Just feed him some of my pizza and he'll shut up until the pizza is gone!" "Of course Marty! Thanks again!" "My pleasure beautiful! Good Luck!" I walk back into the house and see Liam and Niall have switched places and Niall is playing with Nick. Nick seems to like having so many boys in the house! Niall pulls away when I set the pizza in the middle of the table. "Marty's is the best. Try it and you'll fall in love." I set some paper plates on the table and cut up some pizza for Nick and begin to feed Nick. Niall looks over and asks "May I?" I'm taken aback. "Sure! Of course!" I give him the fork and sit back down. "So, you guys must be really famous. There is a GIANT crowd outside your house everyday!" "Oh yeah! Sorry about that. We try and tell them to not bother our neighbors, but they don't really listen. Sorry.." "Oh no! Don't worry about it! It'sfine! It's a new experience!" Niall smiles from across the table. "What?" I ask "You're always up for a new experience aren't you?" I laugh. "And when you moved here, why did you like it?" He asks, smiling. I smile and respond "I liked the-" "authenticity of it" he finishes for me. He looks up and our eyes meet. Nick starts bang is sippy cup on the high chair. I snap out of whatever had just happened. Niall turns his attention back to Nick and I standup and walk to the fridge. "I brought ice cream! You guys want some?" I ask and realize I sound ten times more nervous then I really am. "Of course!" responds Zayn, obviously trying to ease the tension. "Okay." I say and pull out the bowls. I scoop everyone some and set it on the table. Niall's making funny faces at Nick and Nick is laughing so hard he accidentally spits out some of his food. "uh oh!" he looks over at me with tears in his eyes. "Shh!" t's okay! It's okay! Shh! Nick! Don't cry!" I beg him. He smiles and throws his sippy cup on the ground. Niall bends over and picks it up. "Thanks." Itell him. "No problem." Louis pipes up and says "Well it's getting rather late....We better be heading home." "Okay! Nice meeting you! Have a good night!" "You as well! Bye Nick!" "Bye Bye!" As the boys walk out the door, I pull Niall aside. "We have to discuss somethings." He smiles and responds "I know." and walks out the door.****Niall's POV* We walk back to the house in silence. Most of the fans have left, so we can make our way home in peace. The second we get home, I walk straight to my room. I collapse on the bed before I collapse on the ground. I bury my face into the pillow and I scream. I scream into the pillow for what seems like an entirety before Liam walks into the room. "Judging by the fact I've only seen you scream into your pillow once, you aren't holding up too well." He sits on the bed and I sit up. My world is spinning and I can barely see through the tears in my eyes. "Why didn't I stay mate? Why couldn't I tell her no and stay? Because now I've missed out on my son's childhood and I can't get that back! I did this, I ruined her life and all that she had going for her then I left! What kind of father am I? Hell, I'm not a father! I walked out and it's going to affect how Nick grows up! It's already affected her life and now it's going to affect my sons because his dad was never there because he was off touring with a band! I'm just going to be some non-existent figure in his life and I don't want that! Liam, who are people going to look back on this? Niall James Horan, father that wasn't there. Hell, he probably won't even know my name! I'll just be the dad who left." My face is red and I feel like I've pulled my hair out of my head. I feel hot tears rolling down my face. Liam sits and contemplates what I just said. "Well mate, if you feel so strongly about it, why don't you go talk to Amanda? Just tell her that you want to be there for Nick! I'm sure she wouldn't mind! She seems like a nice woman!" "But Liam! She has raised Nick from the beginning and it would be unfair to just take him from her!" "I suppose you're right..Start from the beginning. Just let her know that you would love to be a part of his life, but only to a point where she is comfortable." I sit and try and be angry, but I can't. Now I am bawling like a baby. "Liam." I sob "I ruined my life, Amanda's life, and Nick's life. I am such an idiot." "Niall! You are not an idiot! You did something you weren't supposed to, and out of all the bad came so much good." I try and settle down and I crawl into a ball on my bed. "Good Night Niall." Liam says, walking out of my room and going into his room. I can 't help but think about how nice it would feel to have Amanda laying beside me. If I hadn't left, Nick and Amanda would be here with me. I feel sick to my stomach and I walk into the bathroom and I puke in the toilet. "Great." I think to myself. "I've made myself sick with worry. Great. Just great." Zayn walks into the bathroom and sees me crouching over the toilet. "Mate! Don't make yourself sick! She's just a girl!" He winks and I make an effort to smile. "I'm just worried." He puts a hand on my back. "I know." With that, he walks out of the bathroom and into his room.

I sit and I puke once more before walking back into my room. I walk over to my dresser and open the bottom drawer. I dig to the bottom of the dresser and pull out a picture. It's a picture of Nick and Amanda and I in the hospital, Nick in Amanda's arms and me standing next to the bed. I run my fingers through my hair while I sit on the floor. Amanda was 19 and I was 17 and it was Christmas Eve. I was so oblivious to the fact that just 2 days later, my bags would be packed and I would be leaving the two most important people in my life behind. I see tears fall on the picture and it becomes more and more difficult to see. They needed me and I left. I put the picture on the dresser. I guess it was no use hiding it anymore. I go over and sit on my bed. Isit on the bed and put my head in my hands. Louis peaks his head in the room and simply tells me "Relax Niall." I barely have enough time to see that its him before he leaves, but his words echo in my head. I lay my head on the pillow and try and fall asleep.****Amanda's POV* I wake up the next morning to my alarm clock. I quickly get ready and walk into Nick's room. I try not to wake him up as I grab him out of his crib and bring him downstairs. I've found out that if I go to run early in the morning, I can avoid the traffic and the people along with the big crowd that now rests in front of my neighbors house. I grab a water and walk into the garage and put Nick in the running stroller. He wakes up and smiles at me "G'Morning Sleepy Head!" He laugh sand says "Good Mornin Mommy!" I laugh and begin to run***I run back into the driveway just as the giant crowd is beginning to form. Nick laughs and yells "I'm Nick and I'm two!" I smile and take him out of the running stroller. I walk into the house and pull out some apple sauce. "Breakfast?" I ask and he giggles. I put him in the high chair and then pull out some of my breakfast. I sit down and make faces at Nick. He giggles and accidentally spits out some of his food. I laugh and walk to get a towel. I cough and it hurts. I look to the floor to see something red. I feel sick and I run to the bathroom and when I puke over the toilet, I see blood in the toilet too. "Shoot!" I yell and find myself coughing up more blood. I look over at Nick. Ik now I can't take Nick to the hospital with me because he would just scream and cry and I don't want to get him sick with whatever I have. I look at the time and I debate a little. I finally go with my gut and walk over to the neighbors. I knock on the front door and a disoriented Niall opens the door."Oh! Hi!" His face is tear stained and he doesn't look like he got much sleep. "I have to go to the hospital..Can you watch Nick?" He looks frightened and replies "You aren't going to drive to the hospital are you?" "Yeah...that's how I planned on getting there." I say before I cough up more blood. Liam walks to the door and sees me with Nick and he must have heard our conversation because he takes Nick from me and says "You are going to the hospital and Nick will stay here with us. And Niall will drive." "No that's okay I can-" "Niall will drive." He smiles "It's going to be okay." "Okay give me a second and I'll be right there." I smile at him and begin to thank him when I cough up more blood. It hurts so much. He runs back out with a bowl and he changed his shirt. He hands me the bowl. "Just in case" and he leads me to his car.*Niall's POV* I help her into the passenger seat and I slide into the drivers side. We begin to drive when she begins to cough again. She needed a doctor fast, but the closest emergency room is 15 minutes away. I speed up. Ten minutes into the trip, her coughing is getting worse and all the color has drained from her face. Suddenly, her eyes roll back into her head and her head falls into my lap. My heart stops. Nothing else mattered know. All that mattered was her. Now I'm going 30 miles over the speed limit and we make it to the hospital in under 2 minutes. Liam must have called ahead because the second we pull into the parking lot, there is a stretcher in the parking lot waiting to take her in. The paramedics take her into the ER and I am left in the waiting room. I stand outside the double doors for a few seconds before I feel all the energy drained out of me. I barely make it over to the chairs and I collapse and cry. I just got the best thing in my life back, and now she might be gone. ***It's been 3 hours since anyone has even come in or out of the double doors. I settle back into the chair when Harry texts me "Do not evr feed a 2 yr old candy. evr" I laugh for the first time in what seems like forever. "ik. wht did u do?" I respond. "feed nick a little box of nerds! and he is bouncing off the walls!" "ya u dont feed any kid candy let alone a 2yr old." I laugh, imagining the state the boys are probably in at home, but my spirit lessens when the doctor walks out of the doors. "Did you come with Amanda?" he asks "Yeah, I was the one who brought her here." "Follow Me." I follow the doctor into a hospital room to see Amanda laying on the hospital bed while a nurse puts one of many needles into her vein. She is awake and no longer coughing or shivering, but her eyes are heavy and she looks really out of it. "Hi Amanda!" She smiles weakly "Thanks Niall." I return her smile and walk over to the doctor. He explains what medicine I have to give her and when she has to come back and all that fun amusing stuff that I couldn't will myself to pay attention too. He hands me some medicine and leads me to a counter outside the hospital room. I sign all the forms I need to and walk back into the room. Amanda is dressed, but drowsy. I smile and let her lean on me for support. We walk out of the double doors to be greeted by bright flashing lights. "S**T! Niall what is that?" Amanda yells, trying to shield her eyes from the lights. I completely forgot about the paparazzi. The second they found out where I was going, they would follow. The hospital security see us, and try and move everyone out of the way. I see a chance to run, and I follow my instincts. I swoop Amanda up and run to my car.When I set her in the passenger side, she looks over at me, disoriented "What the hell?" "Paparazzi. They follow us everywhere." She laughs, unexpectedly. I can't help but smile. "What?" I ask. "Nothing. I'm just happy to have you back." I smile on the outside, buton the inside, my heart is bursting. I catch myself smiling as I drive home.***When we get to her house, I lead her in and but to her bedroom. I look around and notice she has the same picture I have, of us. Our family. I can't help but stare at the picture and I almost don't realize that they boys have followed me in the room. I help her into bed and walk out of the room. Harry and Liam walk in and ask "Hiya. Do you need anything?" "Get the f*** out."I hear her say, sounding half asleep. Liam walks out with a surprised look on his face and Harry walks out laughing. Zayn, who has been holding Nick turns to me "I didn't know she had it in her! So what's wrong?" he asks "Pneumonia" I respond. Nick starts to cry and Zayn sets him down. He walks around the house. He picks up one of his blocks and throws it at Louis. "Ow!" Louis yells, which scares Nick. He begins to cry. "Nice going Lou." Harry nudges Louis. I walk over to him and bend down. I swoop him up and he giggles. "We should probably take Nick over to our house before he wakes Amanda up." Liam suggests "Good Idea." I agree. "Wait...what if Amanda wakes up?" Louis points out. "You're right...." Liam pipes up and says "I can stay here. You guys go home. Niall, you need to spend some quality time with your son. So you boys better give them time." Nick giggles and puffs up his cheeks. I laugh and puff out my cheeks too. He giggles and brings his hands up to my cheeks and hits my puffed out cheeks so all the air blows onto his face. He laughs and laughs as we walk out the door. ***A few hours later, I'm sitting in my room while Nick sleeps beside me. Liam comes bursting into the room. "Mate! I need your help. I just, I put a towel over her mouth and she freaked and now she won't and I just and she and help!" I jump out of bed walk out the back door. Yesterday, Harry and Louis found a trail that leads from our backyard to hers and so I follow Liam into that trail and we walk over to her house. I open the back door and motion for Liam to stay where he is. I slowly open her door and she her sobbing on the floor. I've only seen her sob like this a few times, so I knew something was wrong. I sit down next to her and pull her close. "What's wrong sweetheart?" She looks at me in surprise. "I never told you the story did I?" "No...What happened?" She sighs and lies her head in my lap. "You know, when I was three, my parents died and so did my brother trying to protect me and Mollie? Then we were sent to live with our cousins and aunt and uncle and they loved Mollie and hated me because I wasn't smart?" "Yeah. Why?" "Because I never told you that I saw it. The people came into our house and shot my mom and dad with guns. They were big, long ones, not the kind you would find ina gun shop. They took me and my brother and held towels covered in some sorta of liquid and me and my brother passed out. When I woke up, my brother had scars and wasn't breathing. And that scar on my leg I always told you was from falling down the stairs? I woke up with that. I was lost and when I walked out of the storage locker, somebody found me and took me home. And that's how I found myself being abused for 10 years until somebody finally realized what was going on and sent me to go live with Mollie, who was found and sent to my aunt and uncle 2 hours after it happened. And then you know what happens next." Tears roll down her face, and mine too. "Why-why didn't you tell me?" She looks up at me with a sad look in her eyes. "I hadn't come to terms with it yet and I didn't think you needed to." I smile at her and begin to play with her hair. She continues to sob into my lap and after a few hours she has fallen asleep and I am drifting off as well... ***I wake to find Amanda has changed positions to laying on my stomach. I notice Nick is between Amanda and I. I smile and Liam peaks his head in the room. He doesn't notice I'm awake and he just smiles. I smile to as I drift back into sleep.****Amanda's POV* I wake up to Niall and Nick standing over me. Niall smiles and says to Nick "She looks pretty when she sleeps doesn't she Nick?" Nick claps "Yeah!" I laugh but then throw myself into a major coughing fit. Each cough jerks through me like I've been hit with lightning. "Ouch" I mumble. Niall sits down next to me "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to...." "Don't worry about it!" He smiles and responds "I would kiss you, but I don't want to get sick..." I smile. "I honestly do not remember any of the past day. I remember driving to the hospital then a black out then telling you my story. Then falling asleep. What happened?" "Well, you have pneumonia and you sorta passed out on the way to the hospital and gave me a heart attack. Then you cussed in front of the camera and you cussed at Liam." I am even surprised with myself. "Shoot! I should go apologize! And pay you guys for watching Nick!" I open the drawer and pull out some money, but he puts it back. "We have more money than we need right now." I don't know how to respond so I put the money back. He leads me to my bed and picks Nick up and puts him in as well. "You guys stay here and I'll make chicken soup or something!" He laughs and walks into the kitchen. Nick crawls over to me and whispers in my ear "He likkkkkkesss you" I look at him and he grins. "I know. I could tell! Do you think he'll get me flowers?" "Yeahhh" I smile at him and he crawls off the bed and runs into the kitchen. I just start to cough when Niall walks in with a bowl of soup. "Thanks." I smile gratefully as he climbs onto the bed and sits beside me. Suddenly, I'm back in high school, sitting next to my best friend, Niall Horan. I run my fingers through his blonde hair and press my lips against his. He grabs the back of my neck and we fall onto the bed. He kisses my cheek and finds his way down my neck. I pull him back up and kiss his lips again. "Shouldn't we study--for the algebra test?" He asks between breaths. I answer, "No. This-This is so much better" He kisses my cheek and pulls away. "Algebra can't solve it's own problems" He smiles. Niall looks at me and smiles. He pulls me close. "So how have you been? What's gone on?" "Well, I became a Marine. And Nick grew up." He looks at me and laughs "Really? I couldn't tell!" He laughs again. "You should eat." "And you shouldn't worry so much!" I tell him, my voice scratchy and I start coughing again. "This is why I worry." He tells me, while I continue to cough. I smile weakly at him. He sits down next to me and brings the blanket up to my chin. "You know I can move my arms." He smiles "I know. But you're sick and when your sick you get special treatment." "Well than I should get sick more often." I smile and he laughs. "I'm fighting the urge to kiss you right now." Chills find their way down my back, and I try and ignore them. "I honestly won't stop you." He smiles and his phone vibrates. He pulls it out of his pocket, reads the text and frowns. "Whats wrong?" I ask. "We have to go to Detroit over the weekend." "Okay. What's the big deal?" He looks at me "I need to stay and take care of you!" I shake my head. "No no no. You are going to Detroit this weekend! I'll be fine!" "But-" he protests "You're going to Detroit!" He sits back on the bed. "Are you sure?" he asks "Yes!" He sighs and grabs my hand. "Okay." I begin to cough again and he rubs my back. He kisses my forehead and walks into the kitchen. He brings me the medicine he must have gotten from the hospital and a glass of water. "The doctor said don't miss any doses even if you're feeling better." He tells me with a smile. "Thanks." I swallow the pill and he cuddles up against me. I lean my head on his shoulder and fall asleep. *** *Niall's POV* I wake up to Amanda coughing. She looks over and sees that I'm awake. "Oh no! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" she is interrupted by more coughing and she begins to shake. "Is it cold, or is that just me?" She asks. I crawl over and feel her forehead. "Oh my gosh! You are burning up!" She doesn't look surprised as she slips under the blankets "But it's so cold!!!" She shuts her eyes and I slowly shut my eyes, not entirely sure what to do or not.***I wake up again Louis knocking on the door. He peaks his head in and answers "Whoa. I'm not interrupting anything am I? You guys aren't....""No! No! No! Nooo!" I motion for him to quietly come in and he does. "So did you hear? Emergency trip to Detroit this weekend!" "Yeah I heard. What's it for?" "Just an interview and then a signing. So you better establish if Amanda is your girlfriend or not!" He winks and walks out of the room. Amanda rolls over and I look at her. Here we are, however many years later and my love for her has only grown. I only close my eyes for a second before Zayn bursts into the room. "Come on mate you gotta get up!" he whispers so only I can hear. "What? Why? What's wrong?" "We have to pack! Detroit tomorrow?" "Today isn't Friday!" "Yeah it is! You slept here overnight!" I shake my head "No I didn't!" I shake Amanda to wake her up. She rolls over and looks at me. "Hmmm" She mumbles "I have to go pack. Will you be okay?" "Umm Humm. Tell me when you are going to leave for Detroit!" She rolls back over as Zayn and I walk out of her house and back over to ours. ***I walk back into Amanda's house to say goodbye before leaving for Detroit. She is sitting in bed and reading a book. "Comin' to say goodbye to me?" "Of course! I'm going to miss you!" She coughs and smiles "Nothing to miss her! Just a sick girl and her son!" "Oh, but there's so much fun! So much I'm going to miss!" I say. I kiss her forehead and pull Nick onto my lap. He giggles and I kiss his forehead too. "You better be good for Mommy!" He giggles and promises "I will!" I stand up and walk over to Amanda. I kiss her forehead one more time and say "Goodbye! I love you! I'll miss you!" "Bye! Love you too!" I walk out the front door and follow Paul into the car. Harry looks at me. "What?" I ask. "She really makes you happy doesn't she?" He says. "Yeah! Of course!" He just smiles and looks out the window. *Amanda's POV* I look over at the box of pictures that I hadn't opened since high school. Nick comes running into the room and tries to hop on the bed, but fails. I look over at him, this child, this person was the baby I carried in my stomach for 9 months. The light of the sun is just peaking in the blue curtains and it almost seems as if something is trying to tell me to look in that box. I walk over and bring the box over to my bed. I pull Nick close to me and I pull out the first picture. The picture Niall and I took when we went on vacation to Hawaii. We stood in the water hand in hand. I point to myself and tell Nick "This was me before I had you! And this was Daddy!" He giggles and touch the picture. I feel tears in my eyes and move onto the next picture. It's a picture of Niall and I just a day before I found out about Nick. Niall had taken me to a movie and we were kissing in front of the theater just as I headed home. Niall drops me off at home. "Good Night Sweetheart! I love you! Call me if you need anything!" I kiss him and tell him "Love you too! I will" He drives away and I collapse onto my bed before doing anything else. Tonight was magical. He took me on a boat ride and then we went to the movies. The night just couldn't get any better. I check my calender just to make sure that I hadn't skipped a week. We had done "it" only once, after coming home from a party wasted and one thing lead to another and I just wanted to make sure. When I realized I had, I didn't panic and grabbed the pregnancy test out of deep in my drawer. I pull it out and when I walk out of the bathroom, I feel dizzy and check again. There were to red lines on the test, which meant positive. I collapse onto the floor and pass out. When I finally come back to my senses, I start to panic and not knowing what to do, I call Niall. "Hello?" He answers, sounding like he just woke up. I am bawling now. "Niall?" I manage to choke out. "What's wrong princess?" "I'm....I'm pregnant." I hear silence in the phone until he finally responds "I'll be right over." I look down at Nick and I realize what a beautiful thing has come out of all this. The next picture is a picture of Niall and I, his hands on my stomach and my hands on his. I was only a few weeks along and I hadn't told my aunt or uncle or anybody really. Niall and I were the only ones who knew. Or so I thought. Mollie was going through my stuff and she had found the test. I came home that night to my loving family kicking me out of the house. I walk in the house and hear voices in the kitchen. What looked like half of my room was packed up in boxes and sitting in the foyer. The house was so big, so spacious. Even after all the time I'd lived here, the house still mesmerized me. The voices stopped and Mollie walked out of the kitchen. "See ya later b***h!"  I heard my name and I walked into the kitchen. I saw the two red lines and I knew I was in trouble. My uncle picks up the test and throws it at me. He storms over and lifts me up by my shirt. "What is this?" I respond, trying to keep my voice level "A pregnancy test" He slaps me across the face and yells "NO S**T! WHOSE IS IT?" "Mine" My uncle hits me again, this time with a hard fist which brings the all to familiar taste of blood in my mouth. "Get out." He growls, and his face is so close to mine, the smell of beer and vodka is almost unbearable. He storms out of the room and my aunt looks over at me, a smirk on her face. "Your stuff is in the foyer. If you come back, you will be saying hello to the foster system. So don't" I could tell by the way she wobbled off she had had a few to many as well. Tears trail down my face as I grab my boxes and I walk out the front door. I don't know where to go or what to do. I was alone.  All alone in the world. I smile down at Nick and flip to the next picture. It's a picture Niall and his family and me out to eat. My stomach hadn't started to show yet, and I'm sure everybody would have guessed I was just gaining weight because I ate more than I should've. I walk aimlessly until I notice a taxi so I flag it down. When we arrive, I pay the driver and grab my boxes. I realize how late it is, but I can't go back. I knock on the door, boxes in hand. Niall's mom Maura opens the door. "Hi sweetheart! I haven't seen you in a while! What's wrong?" She says, noticing my tear streaked face and the bruise on my jaw. The Horan's were like a second family to me and I collapsed into her arms. "He...they...and...I" Niall walks down the stairs and sees me crying. "What's wrong princess?" Maura and Niall welcome me into the house and we all sit on the couch and I am crying hysterically. Niall comes and sits next to me and pulls me into his arms. "Shh...Shh...It's alright." When I do settle down, I tell Maura the whole story. The pregnancy, the kidnapping, the abuse, everything. She is crying by the time I finish and Bobby is comforting her and Niall is comforting me. "Well sweetheart, you can stay as long as you need." I thanks them 20 times Bobby stands up "You know the rules/ Follow them and you'll be just fine." He walks over and kisses my forehead. "Good Night Sweetheart" "Good Night." Maura walks over and does the same. Niall kisses me on the lips versus his parents kissing me on the forehead and leads me up to the quest bedroom. "Yell if you need anything." "I will. Thank you." He looks into my eyes and smiles "I love you." "I love you too." I smile, even though the recollection of this memory made me sadder then I thought it might. *Niall's POV* I always hated long rides like this because my mind always wandered back to Amanda and Nick. The boys know that and usually try and keep my mind off of it, but they all seemed like they stayed up late last night and ended up falling asleep. So here I was, left to think all about Amanda and Nick. My mind wanders to the times before we knew about Nick. We were sitting on the beach, like we spend most of our weekends. The sun was illuminating the water, changing it to different shades of red and orange. I look over at her, her strawberry blonde hair being blown back by the wind. She looks over at me. "What?" She asks. "I think I am madly in love with you." I tell her. A smile dances on her lips. "Oh no!" "What?" "I think I'm madly in love with you too." I am jerked back into reality by a literal jerk of the car. None of the boys wake up so I turn my attention to the window. It's near the end of October and the orange leaves are just beginning to fall off of the trees. As we draw closer to the

city, the trees begin to thin out while the buildings, and traffic, thicken. I text Amanda "Just now getting to Detroit. How u feelin?" I get almost an immediate response "Good. Not quite better yet. But have fun " to which I respond "Oh yeah btw if u want 2 watch the interview it's just going to be on this website" I attach the link to the text and hit send. We are just trying to fight our way through the crowd when I feel my phone vibrate. I take it out and read her response. I smile and continue walking. When we get to the hotel room, I walk in and collapse onto the bed. Harry, who followed me in, collapses onto the bed next to me. "You okay mate? I know we all fell asleep on you and I just wanted to......" "Yeah. Thanks. Just a lot of thinking." "Okay! You should get some rest. We've got an early morning tomorrow!" "That is very true! G'night Harry!" "G'Night Niall!" Before I fall asleep, I text Amanda "Love you beautiful! Sleep Tight! Don't let the bed bugs bite!" Though I try and keep my eyes open for a response, I end up falling asleep.

The next morning, I wake up to Harry and Louis jumping on my bed. "Do I have to get up?" I ask, unwilling to even come out of the blankets. "Come on mate! Time to get up and get ready!" They both run out of the room and Liam walks in. He smiles at the two of them, but his face is serious. He shuts the door and sits down on the bed next to me. "Look. I understand you are ready to tell everyone Amanda is your girlfriend and that's okay. But don't tell them about Nick. She isn't ready for that. Let everyone figure that one out on their own. Okay?" I realize that she WASN'T ready for that. She was going to get enough hate even for being my girlfriend and she wasn't ready for the hate she would get if I told them about Nick. Hell, even the hate I got could be too much at times. "Okay." I respond. "Thanks Mate." I tell him as he walks out the door. "I'm just trying to look out for you guys!" He smiles and I return his smile. "See you soon!" He opens and shuts the door. I text Amanda, "Good morning beautiful!" and walk into the bathroom&begin to get ready. *Amanda's POV* I wake up to a text from Niall. "Good Morning Beautiful" "Good Morning!" I reply. Nick has been sleeping with me for the past few days because I didn't have enough energy to walk to and from his room and day and night. My cough is better, but not back to normal. Niall texts me "Feeling better?" "A little. Thanks(:" I cuddle up in the blankets and take my temperature. The screen read 103, but that didn't seem right because I felt really cold. Niall texts me back "What's your temp?" "103" I slowly walk back over to the closet and pull out 10 more blankets and put them on top of me. Each movement I make hurts and Niall texts me back "Oh no! Do you need me to come back?" I laugh and reply "No! You better not come back! I'll be fine. I promise!" I debate against pulling out the photos again, and I decide against it. I didn't want to stir up any old memories that didn't need to be disturbed. Niall texts back "Well lovely I have to go. Make-up and preparation and crap. Love you! Talk to you soon!" "Bye! Love you too!" I smile and Nick starts to cry. I don't blame him. He's been stuck in this room for a while and Niall isn't here to play with him, like he has been for the past few days. I try and get up, which I am just barely successful with. I lean against the bed frame and I make my way over to Nick. I try and pick him up, but my body cannot will itself to do it. I feel light-headed and I fall to the ground. I try and remember what to do. "Okay." I try and talk myself through it "Put your head in between your legs. Let the blood flow to your head. Come on. You can do this." I sit like that for quite sometime before Nick starts to cry again. "It's okay buddy. I'll go get you some food." I very, very slowly make my way to the kitchen and grab a banana. I begin to cut it up and I get distracted by my own thoughts and end up cutting myself with the knife. Why I was using such a sharp knife when I wasn't fully aware of everything going on, I don't know. But my finger stings and I immediately stick it under the faucet. I curse under my breath, making sure Nick can't hear me. I reach into another cabinet and grab the gauze and wrap it around my finger. I then wash off the knife and take the bananas in for Nick. He immediately digs right in. He's got Niall's appetite, that's for sure. I slowly make my way over to the bed and fall back into the glorious comfort of my blankets. I make sure Nick doesn't choke on his food and when he begins to drift off, I grab my laptop and begin to watch Niall's interview. ***When the interview was over, I shut off my laptop and smiled. I know I turned bright red when he talked about me. He didn't tell them I had a son, but I'm sure he knows when and how we should tell everyone.Nick came and watched with me, but he got restless about halfway through and began to play with the blocks Niall left out for him. I am overcome with sadness as I watch Nick play with his blocks. I regret getting pregnant, but I will never ever regret what has come out of it. I would say I regret making Niall leave, but something good has come out of that as well. So I sit, sick in bed just finishing watching the love of my life talk about me in an interview and watching my son, my two year old son play with his blocks. I look over at my phone and it says Niall texted me. "Just got out of the interview. Were you watching?" "Of course!" "What did you think?" "Well mr. niall horan of one direction, you were amazing(:" "Awww! Thanks! We're coming home now sooo see you soon!" "Bye! Have a safe trip!" I look over at Nick who has just decided to abandon his blocks and take a nap with me. I pull him into my arms and hold him close. I try and sleep, but my mind keeps wandering back to Niall and Nick. Was it right to ask him to leave? Should I have just let him stay and help? I am so conflicted that I eventually tire myself out and I fall asleep. *Niall's POV* *** We pull into the driveway and grab our bags from the back of the car. We take them inside and Liam walks into the room. "Nice Job mate!" "What for?" "The interview! That was perfect! Perfect way to introduce her! Nicee!" He slaps me on the back and I look at him slightly confused. He stands up and opens his arms. I cautiously enter the hug and he whispers into my ear "Check twitter before management blocks it from you." I smile, playing along with whatever is going on. "Thanks Mate!" I nonchalantly pull out my laptop and log onto twitter. The page has posted the interview link and I click view comments. A majority of them were "Omg I love you guys!" and some of them were even some appreciation for Amanda serving. The ones that catch my eyes are the ones I would rather not see. "S**t. I deserve Niall not this w***e. Go just kill yourself. Mofo" "She is so fugly. I haven't even seen a picture, but I know she is" "Kill yourself." "Not one Directioner would care if this b***h died while serving. Rather her die then touch Niall's perfection" My mind flashes back to eighth grade, when I first met her. "You're so gay! F*g! Go kill yourself! Loser!" Some boy jeered at me. My eyes find the floor and I try and ignore him. A new girl sat next to us, and against all odds, stood up for me."Did you just call him gay?" "Yeah. Do you have a problem new girl?" She looks over at me and I knew the second I saw her, I was in trouble. She turns back to the boy. "Yes. Yes I do. You shouldn't call anybody gay, unless they really are legit like men gay." She looks at me "You don't like men do you?""No." I respond quietly, not knowing what to do. "See? He is not gay, so don't call him that. What if you are gay? Or what if your son grows up to to be gay? Then what will you do? Because this boy is someones son, and in however many years this could be your son too." He laughs uncomfortably and his fists are bawled up. "What did you grow up with two gay dads or something like that?" "Nope. I grew up with this crazy thing called common courtesy."He got a look in his eyes that was all to familiar. He looks her in the eyes. She challenges "Punch me. I dare you." So he does. He punches her right across the jaw. She doesn't pause before punching him in the stomach. He doubles over in pain and she punches his nose then his jaw. I couldn't help but reward her on the great on the spot strategy. She knew she was smaller then him, so she brought him down to her level. Her mouth is bleeding a little, so she spits and continues "Stand up and fight you coward." He stands up and tries to punch her face but she blocks it and brings her fist up to his jaw. A teacher comes running out of the school and tries to work his way through the crowd that has gathered. He pulls this girl off of the boy and and giving each of them a death glare, he growls. "Both of you. My office. Now." I begin to protest but he's already dragging both of them to the office. I stand, in almost complete awe about what just happened. I grabbed my books and followed them to the office. I sit outside until the new girl finally comes out. "Hey, I'm really sorry about that. You didn't have to do that for me. I'm cool with it." She takes the ice pack off her jaw and gives me a hug. "What was that for?" I ask. Her voice is barely above a whisper "Because what he said should never be okay." The boy walks out of the office and the new girl gives him a look that looked like it could cut metal. She focuses her attention back to me. "My name is Amanda, by the way." "Niall" I respond. "And thanks." She looks over at me, her face confused "What for?" I laugh "For you know, standing up for me!" "Well what else was I supposed to do? Let him continue? It would be inhumanly right to let him be mean to you and sit back and watch! I can't be the only one who has ever stood up for you!" I shake my head. "You'd be surprised how many people sit back and watch." She looks at me, her mouth wide open. "That's so bad. So bad." "What kind of trouble did you get in???" I ask, quite curious. "He said 2 hours of community service for me and 4 for him. And an out of school suspension." "Oh my gosh!That's a lot!" "Not really. People other places have it worse, so I'm sure helping the nice custodians is 10x better than other people have it." I'd never thought about it like that. We begin to walk, towards the corner store. Even with a swollen jaw, she still looked really pretty. "I am never going to be able to pay you back in full!" I laugh nervously. "Me? Wait, pay me back? No! Don't pay me back! This one is on me." I look at all the hate comments and respond to all of them, thanking them for voicing how they feel, and telling them not to do it again. I walk over to her house, using to hidden trail to enter through the back door. Since nobody knew we were back yet, I snuck out to grab her mail before going in the house. I was flipping through all the mail when I come across a letter from the USMC. I see the heading and I almost collapsed in the middle of the driveway. Amanda was going back to serve. I regain my composure and walk into the house and into Amanda's room. She and Nick have fallen asleep in bed. I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I try and hold it in, but it doesn't work. Tears stream from my eyes and I sob. Does she have to go? Can't she just stay? I see her beginning to wake up and I make my hardest effort to recover. She sees that I've been crying, and slowly sits up. "What's wrong?" "It's nothing. It's fine." She gives me a look that says "You are such a liar." "It's okay to cry here Niall. Nobody is going to care. You don't have to stay strong for me." I look at her teary eyed and hand her the letter. She doesn't even have to open it to see what's inside. We both just look at it for a while and finally, Amanda opens it. She reads it quickly and tells me "I'm leaving on New Years." I crawl over the bed and I pull her into my arms. I don't ever want her to leave the safety of my arms ever again. But on New Years, she was. Tears begin to fall once again, but she comforts me "It's okay! At least I get to stay for Nick's birthday and for Christmas! Right? Last year, I left the day before Nick's birthday and I was devastated! Don't worry about it" She smiles, but her lip quivers. "You don't have to be strong for me either Amanda." I look over at Nick. He smiles and runs over to me. "You are gonna go back with Mollie! Sound like fun?" He hears Mollie's name and starts screaming. "No! No! No!" He screams. "I could take him! I mean, if that's okay." I look over at him "You wanna stay with me?" He claps his hands "Yess! Stay with Niall! Mommy please?" "Are you sure?" Amanda asks. "Yes! It would be my pleasure!" She looks over at me. "You know he his a big responsibility. You can't get bored and send him to Mollie. That wouldn't be fair to Nick or to me. So don't do it." "I would never EVER do that." "Sometimes I wonder why you stay with me." "What?" "I mean sometimes we can be such a burden! I mean, I leave nearly every year and you just stop your life for me! Which I appreciate so much, don't get me wrong. It's just...I don't know. Thank you." I stare into her eyes. "I love you. No matter what happens, I'm always going to love you. I promise." Her eyes well up with tears, but she doesn't cry. "I love you so much Niall." I pull her closer to me and again I have the sensation of just never wanting to let go. Nick crawls into her arms and she kisses his forehead. "I love you Nick." "Love you too!" She laughs, but her cough comes back. "Danggit! I thought it was gone!" She tells me after she finishes coughing. "It's okay! The doctor said you're built different or something like that so it's going to get worse before it gets better." "So I see!" She tries to laugh, but ends up coughing again. "I think my best bet is just to not laugh." "Good plan." I tell her.***I stay and help more and Amanda thanks me 900 times before I leave. "I love you!" She yells, and coughs again. I run back into the room and kiss her forehead. "You're so beautiful. I love you too sweetheart!" She blushes and I walk back over to our house. Harry is sitting in the living room and must sense that I am upset because when I come in he says "What's wrong?" I shake my head. "Amanda is going to go serve on New Years and I am going to take care of Nick." "Oh that blows man."Yeah. I'm gonna miss her." "Don't worry mate! You guys will keep in touch! I read somewhere that if you can survive a military branch relationship, the rest of the relationship is a breeze." He smiles and I laugh. "Of course!"I sit down on the couch and grab some of his popcorn. Liam walks down followed by Zayn and Louis. Louis sees me and takes a few steps back. "Who is this stranger?" "Ha Ha very funny!" Harry decides now is the right time to blurt out "Amanda is leaving to go serve in the Marine Corp on New Years." Liam's jaw drops "What?" "Yup." I respond. "Sorry. That's tough." "I know." "What about Nick?" Lou asks. "Well he's gonna stay with me." Zayn, who has been quiet most of the time asks "Well how's she doin'?" I sigh, even though I know the doctor said it was going to get worse before it gets better. "Well, she's not at her peak.The doctor said its going to get worse before it gets better and right now its worse then when she started. So not so good." "Mate I'm sorry." I feel tears in my eyes again and I thank all of them, then head up to my room. I sit on the bed, holding a pillow, and I stare at the wall. What was going to happen if Amanda got hurt? What is she wouldn't recognize me? What if she....died? The more I think about it, the more I feel sick to my stomach. Harry walks in. "Hey I'm sorry about blurting that out I just...ermm..I don't know." "It's okay! Don't worry about it!" "I know this is really tough so if you need someone to talk to, you know I'm right down the hallway...and ermm....yeah" I laugh a little, but it sounds forced. "Okay. Thanks!" "No problem." He walks out of the room and I continue staring at the wall. I just, don't know what to do. My body feels paralyzed. All the boys came in to see if I was okay, and I just stared at the wall. Just sat there. After a while, the boys realized that I wasn't going to move and left me alone. So I sit, staring at the wall, until my eyes get heavy and I fall asleep. My body, weak and underfed, works so hard to keep breathing. A man walks up to us and begins speaking a language I don't know. I don't get a good look at his face until suddenly, I understand what he's saying. "You w***e. You dirty little s**t bag. I'm doing the world a favor." He says as he pulls out a gun. He aims it at my heart and I take a look at the last face I was going to see in life. The face of Niall Horan, the love of my life. He pulls the trigger. * I wake up in a cold sweat. I try and stop myself from crying, but I can't. Tears roll down my face and I am so scared and I don't know what to do. I grab my phone and I call Niall, bawling. "Um..hello?" He answers, obvious he just woke up. "Niall..I...just I...." I try and form words, but they won't come out. "Princess, whats wrong?" Through the midst of all my crying and coughing, which are violently rocking my body now, I manage to tell him"Nightmares." When he hears that, I hear noises and him telling me "I'll be right over." "-no! I don't-" but he's already hung up the phone. I sit in my bed, shaking, coughs racking through my body when Niall bursts in the room. He sees me on my bed and he sees Nick on my bed, so first, he takes Nick to his own room and then rushes back into my room. He sits on the bed and pulls me into his lap. "Sh....Sh....Sh...." He strokes my hair. I try and calm down, but I can't. Anytime I get close, the image of the gun pointed at my heart flashes in my head and my eyes tear up. I refuse to let myself look up at his face, the same face that killed me in my dream. He holds me while I cry and cough in his arms for a long time.I finally tell myself I'm being a baby and shut up, my body follows orders and I stop crying. He continues to stroke my hair and I notice that he's crying a little bit too. We both ask, at the same time "What's wrong?" He smiles "You first." I shake my head. "No. You first. My story is pretty long." He looks and me and sighs. "I just don't want you to go. I know it's selfish of me, but I just got you back and I never want to lose you again. I mean, I'm afraid of you leaving not just me, but Nick and the entire world! Ohh I don't know. I'm just scared about everything." I finally will myself to look up at him, and I am surprised to see it isn't the same face. The other face was cold and scary. Niall's was welcoming and innocent. "Don't worry! I am smart enough not to put myself in grave danger unless necessary. And I'll call you guys whenever I can. Do you have a skype?" "Yes! Can you do that?" "On a good day. And letters will be a big thing. I'll see if I can write, call, or skype you every single night." "So enough about that. Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I bite my lip and tell him about my dream. He looks down at me, stunned. "How often do you get dreams like this?" "Ones from when I was fighting? Those haunt me every night. On rare occurrences, people I know will kill me. Another reoccurring dream I have is being forced to kill Nick. And he would scream and cry out my name, but I couldn't......I can't...." He hugs me closer. "It's okay. None of that is real. Right now, it's just me and you. Just me and you. He stands up and walks to my closet. How he knows I still have his old guitar in there, I don't know. He pulls it out and sits on the bed. He begins to sing. "Hey there Delilah" I close my eyes and suddenly I'm back in high school, the first time I saw Niall performing. Before he started singing, he caught me of guard "I just want to let a girl out there know this one's for you. I love you Amanda!" My face turns bright red and he smiles, knowing I would. I close my eyes and sway to the beautiful music my boyfriend was making. "-but they've got planes and trains and cars I'd walk to you if I had no other way." When he finishes singing, tears roll down my cheek and he blows me a kiss. He walks off the stage and swoops me up into his arms. He kisses me and I look over at him. "Those same lips that make such beautiful noise are he same ones I just kissed. That's amazing. " he kisses me again. "Sweetheart settle down. Your heart is beating really fast" "this heart only beats for you." I stare into his blue eyes. "You're the best." "You're so beautiful." I press my lips against his and I feel him smiling. Niall shakes me back into reality. He whispers into my ear "I love you" "I love you too." We lay there, looking into each others eyes for a very long time. Eventually, I stand up and begin to cough again. I walk over to the dresser and grab at-shirt. Niall has put some of his clothes in the corner of the room. He slips off his shirt and walks over and helps me out of mine. He pulls me closer to him and kisses my jawline. "You're so beautiful." I turn around and kiss his soft lips. "I really love you." "I really love you too." He puts his arms around my waist. I lean my head against his chest. He kisses my forehead. I look back and he has a mischievous smile on his face. "What?" I feel his fingers start to move and I begin to giggle. "No! No! Niall please! Niall! Niall!" I giggle. His fingers move across my hips and I fall to the ground."Niall! Niall! Please?" He continues to tickle me. I try and tell him to stop, but I'm laughing too hard, I can't form the words. I stand up, and I accidentally knock over the nightstand. I try and crawl over the bed, but Niall grabs my foot and pins me to the bed. He brushes my cheek with his fingers and leans down to kiss me. That kiss would have lasted forever if I hadn't started to cough again. I lean over to the side and cough. He sits me up and rubs my back. When I finish, he looks over and smiles. "I love you." "I love you too"*** *Liam's POV* I wake up and roll over. I drowsily walk downstairs and see all the boys minus Niall sitting in the kitchen. "Where's Niall?" I ask. "I don't know. He's never been late for breakfast before." "Have you checked Amanda's?" "Nope. Let's go check." I walk out the door and the boys follow. When I go to enter Amanda's house, the door is locked. I knock on the door. I wait and Amanda comes running. I can't help but stare, because she has the same shirt on that Niall had on yesterday. And she skipped a button. "Hey guys." She says, obviously not fully aware of whats going on. She sees our faces and looks down. "Shoot." Niall walks out of her room, without shirt on and sees us. "S**t." "It's not what it looks like!" *Niall's POV* I walk out of the room, to see the boys and Amanda standing by the back door. She coughs and motions down to her shirt. She had on my shirt. "S**t." "It's not what it looks like!" Amanda tells them. Liam looks into Amanda's room and sees the nightstand knocked over. "Mate. How can you say that? It sure looks like you guys...." "No! No! I would never...no!" Amanda protests. "Mate, I swear. Amanda and I aren't sleeping together." The boys stand in the doorway, stunned. Harry smiles a little. "Nice job mate. Didn't think you had it in you." Amanda smiles a little too. Her voice rough, she giggles and tells him "No I swear! We were changing and he came over and tickled me and then we fell asleep and then I grabbed the first shirt I saw and-" Her protests are interrupted by her coughing again. I walk over, and rub her back. I pull her close to me and Louis laughs. "Awhhh! You guys are so sweet! Amanda is pretty hot too. No wonder Niall wants to sleep with you!" Amanda's jaw drops and my face turns bright red. Liam shakes his head. "Come On guys, leave um be. They're in love." I blush, and look over at Amanda, who has turned as bright red as a tomato. The boys all smile and laugh as they walk out of the house. I look over at Amanda, who falls onto the chair with a heavy sigh. I get to thinking and decide "You should come to our Christmas concert." She disappears into Nick's room, and grabs Nick, but when she begins to cough again, I take him from her hands. "I would love to! That sounds like fun!" She opens a box of toaster strudels and puts one in the toaster for Nick. "You want one?" She asks, motioning to the box. "Sure. Are you going to eat anything?" "Nah, nothing goes down quite the way it should." "You know what? We have some tea over at our house. I'll bring that over and we'll see how it works." I run out the back door and into our house. I am about to enter the kitchen when I hear Louis' voice, "Li, if they slept together that's their choice. They'll do it when they are ready." Liam replies, "But I don't think its the best idea." I hear Perrie's voice in the kitchen, "I'm sure they didn't sleep together. Amanda sounds to smart for that and Niall wouldn't do anything Amanda didn't want, just knowing Niall. If they did, I'm sure they used protection. Okay? So let's just drop the subject." El pipes up "Yeah, debating over this for an hour hasn't appeared to be very successful." Everything gets quiet for a second, and I burst into the kitchen, pretending I didn't hear anything."Hey-" I start "What's going on?" "Just talking." El smiles. I go to the pantry and grab the tea. "Thanks!" I smile and run out of the house. Why didn't Liam believe me? I enter Amanda's house and she is feeding Nick some of the toaster strudel. "Yours is on the counter." She smiles. I start to make the tea and we get to talking. "So what's being a Marine like?" "Difficult. Very difficult. What's being famous like?" "I'm sure not as difficult as being a Marine! But it can be really hard, especially when we're touring. But it's amazing. Seeing what an impact we can make on peoples lifes. I mean, people have told me what an impact I've made and it's really amazing." I look over at her and she has a look I can't comprehend the look she has on her face so I say "Sorry. I'm boring you." "No! Carry on.It's actually very interesting." I smile, and continue "I met this girl once, she was very bubbly and happy and she reminded me of you. She was also pregnant. I...I gave her my phone number and told her to call me anytime. She never called, but one day she sent me a picture of a beautiful baby boy. His name was James. To think I had such an impact on this girls life, its amazing." She jumps out of the chair she was sitting in and walks over and kisses my cheek. "What was that for?" I ask. "You are doing what you always wanted to do. And I'm so happy for you." I remember sitting in my house one night,and we were talking about life. "What do you want to do Niall? If you could do anything, what would you do?" She asks, twirling a piece of hair between her fingers."I would love to impact the world. Just help people who need help. I want to be more than just life on Earth. I want to be remembered." She looks into my eyes. "That is beautiful Niall." My face turns red and I ask. "What about you Amanda? What do you want to do?" She opens her mouth to tell me, but shuts it. "What do you want to do?" I ask, urging her to go on. She just shakes her head. "Maybe someday, you'll find out. Not tonight." I want to know, but its obvious she doesn't want to talk about it. I sigh and change the topic.  "What do you want to do with life Amanda? You never told me." She looks up. "I really don't know." We stay looking into each others eyes, and I try and search her eyes and I realize something. She knows what she wants to do with life. She just doesn't want to tell me. "You can tell me." I tell her. Nick starts crying and she breaks away, leaving me wondering. I take a few seconds to recover. I walk to the counter and grab what shes made for me. I give her her cup of tea and she looks at me. "I'm sorry. I...I just....it's a difficult topic, that's all." She grabs her pills and takes them, like she's supposed to. She then leans on the counter and takes small sips of the tea. "It's okay. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't make you talk about it." "This is why I love you." "I love you so much. I wish you didn't have to leave." "I wish I didn't have to leave either honestly. I'd much rather stay here with you and Nick. But duty calls."I walk over and pull her into my arms. "I never want you to leave these arms again." "I never want to leave them." She turns around and kisses my cheek. I pick her up and twirl her around. She playfully hits my back, but I refuse to put her down. "Niall!" She giggles "Stop!" I finally put her down and she's still giggling. "Let's watch a movie." I suggest. "I don't have a TV." She informs me. "What? ARE YOU HUMAN?" I yell and pull her ears. She laughs. "Yes, I'm human,I'm just human without a TV!" Nick runs around our feet and I pick him up. "Well I guess we are going to have to go over to my house then!" I tell Nick and he claps his hands. "I'll help you get dressed." I tell her and I focus my attention back on Nick. "And you too!" Amanda hops in a quick shower and I carry Nick into his bedroom. His blue and green walls were covered in song lyrics. I recognize Amanda's favorite song and I realize that she has my favorite song on the wall too. Then she has our song. And the song I sang to her while she was giving birth to Nick. I smile and look in Nick's dresser.I grab a polo and khaki pants, a personal favorite of mine. By the time I had gotten him dressed, Amanda was already out of the shower and she threw her hair up into a bun. "Hang on. I need to put on my make-up." I grab her wrist and look into her eyes. "You don't need it." She smiles and kisses my cheek. She yanks away and has a coughing fit. I rub her back, and when its over, we head over to my house. Per and Eleanor are sitting in the living room. They both jump up and greet Amanda. "It's so nice to meet you! My name's Eleanor, Louis' girlfriend, and this is Perrie, Zayn's girl friend Omigoodness we've heard so much about you! It's so nice to meet you! And this must be Nick! Do you mind if I hold him?" Amanda smiles and shakes her head "No, I don't care! Hi!" She laughs and they boys come trampling down the stairs. "Hey Manda!" Louis yells. "Hiya Amanda!" Zayn smiles "So I see you've met our girlfriends!" Zayn pulls Perrie into his arms and kisses her. She giggles and Liam coughs a little. They pull apart. "So I hear you've had quite a week!" Harry comments. "Yeah, but I'm getting better! Don't worry!" She laughs, as Eleanor plays with Nick. I swoop Amanda up and carry her to the couch. She laughs and tells me "My legs work Niall!" "I know! It's just faster this way." She laughs and I go and turn on Mean Girls, her favorite movie.I sit next to her and everyone else joins us. She cuddles up against me and I play with her hair. Her lips move as she quotes her favorite lines. I smile and look at her and realize how lucky I am to have her. *** By the time the movie is over, Amanda's head has fallen into my lap, and Nick fallen asleep in Eleanor's arms. I look at Amanda and play with a strand of her hair when Liam coughs, trying to get my attention. "Yeah mate?" I ask. "Look, I know you said you and Amanda aren't sleeping together, but from what we saw yesterday, it looked like you did and I just want to make sure. I mean, if you are or aren't thats up to you, we just want to make sure you are doing whats best for you and Amanda. Just make sure you are using protection and...yeah." He gets up and walks out of the room. Harry looks over at me. "Mate, don't worry about it. Liam's just a little stressed."

Author's Note

Feedback is appreciated!